I had no idea there was even any talk of this. Leave it to The Daily Show to make me aware of ridiculous political shit.
Waking up at noon makes the day that much shorter.
It’s usually something like, “Holy shit, it’s 5 o’clock already? I haven’t even bothered to brush my teeth.” It’d be much worse during the winter. I’d have approximately 4 hours of daylight every day to waste. It’d be like living in Alaska.
I actually spend less time on the internet when I’m NOT at work.
Because I actually read! And other stuff too. I guess. Nothing productive. Actually no, I am looking hard for jobs. Yes, I most definitely am.
Unemployment benefits are bigger than I thought.
Or I’m just a moron who can’t read information correctly. I guess I’ll find out for sure in a week.
Daytime television is — and always will be — a massive wasteland.
The only thing I ever put on is ESPNews. Or maybe Mike’d Up, I admit it. Also, I recently found out Oprah injects estrogen straight into her vagina. I guess this post is as good as any to mention that.
There’s only so much time one can dedicate to analyzing fantasy baseball.
I can’t believe B.J. Upton had 2 steals in 3 straight games. I was CRUSHING my opponent in H2H in the SB category this week, and Upton had to go apeshit. At least I picked up Jim Thome — dude beasted this week. Now if only Joey Votto stopped being a pussy.
Reading outside on a reclining lawn chair in the middle of the day is totally awesome.
I love devouring Dick. Philip K. Dick.
I much rather watch episode after episode of a television show than one two-hour movie.
I know going in that I’m going to end up watching at least three episodes of whichever show, but I just can never seem to bring myself to watch whichever movie I currently have from Netflix. I was right to feel that way about Synedoche, New York.
My alcohol tolerance has been waiting for this moment to revert back to some semblance of its college level.
I feel like I can’t elaborate on that without sounding like a “Look at me, I’m so drunk” douchebag.
I still hate running.
No seriously, it fucking sucks.
I just watched Terminator Salvation after the debacle that was the ending of tonight’s opening contest between the Mets and Yankees. It did not soothe my rage in any way, shape or form. I just see this in my head over. and over. and over.
How? How did that really happen? And why the hell did he throw the ball to second base? The Mets had the game won on a clutch double by David Wright in the top of the 8th off of Mariano Rivera. Maybe it happens more often now, but you DON’T GIVE AWAY GAMES YOU WIN OFF OF MARIANO RIVERA. David Wright proved himself superior to A-Rod, but the latter was the one who got mobbed by his teammates at the end of the game. Because of Luis Fucking Castillo, who I don’t think ANY Mets fan wanted on the team this year.
I was just starting to warm up to him. The only person I knew who hated Castillo more than me was my dad. We both did not want to see his two worthless knees in a Mets uniform in 2009. But then he actually started off well. Then he sucked again. And then he started looking decent again. And then this happened. This epic embarrassment of a choke. Get him the fuck out of my face. My dad and I were supposed to go to the game tomorrow together, but he’s so disgusted that he told me to take my mom instead.
I got nothing else. There’s not much more to say. How much can you say about a ball that pops out of a glove to cost a game? I do know that Orlando Hudson would’ve caught that.
I’ll leave you with this. Even I laughed at this. At this point, I’m not sure what else I can do.
This is the reason why I took Conan off the header. I love Conan, but this week looks to be a totally awesome one for The Colbert Report. This kickoff episode for his Operation Iraqi Stephen rocked on so many levels.
Man, I love how many shows are on Hulu. It allows me to embed a ton of shit without having to actually write stuff.
A magical parachute and grappling hook, feet that stick to the hoods of vehicles, and being able to blow seemingly everything up. Yeah, this looks pretty awesome.
Yes, this time it’s MY song of the week, ok? It’s all I got. And I’m going to make the most of it. Over 21 minutes worth.
Earthless – Sonic Prayer
You better enjoy that massive jam. This is the type of shit that if you were at some rock festival and some dudes came on stage and busted this out you’d be like, “Holy shit, this fucking rules.” Because it does. This song could fuel an entire run for me. Once I get to the point where I’m actually running for a decent amount of time, I can just listen to the other 20+ minute song on the same album. I need to listen to more relentless rocking like this.
Anyone that knows me personally is most likely aware of my dad’s affinity for Magnum P.I., and that seasons of it on DVD are now my designated fallback gift for him. It used to be U2 albums. Pretty sure this is an upgrade. Bono has dumb sunglasses instead of an awesome ‘stache.
Why am I talking about Magnum P.I.? Because the following is an attempt to emulate its opening credits, only with Star Wars scenes. Now, I’m not the biggest Star Wars fan, but I think we can all agree Han Solo is the coolest guy in the entire series. Han Solo P.I. would be a pretty sweet show, if Harrison Ford grew the prerequisite mustache. (Side note: Just found out that my usual spelling — moustache — is the predominant British spelling, while mustache is the American one. So I obviously need to go with the latter from now on. U-S-A)
If you are not familiar with Magnum’s credit sequence, hit the jump to have your mind blown. And not just by a side-by-side comparison of this mashup and the original, but also by something from The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien. Oh yeah.
Unless you’ve been living under a rock for a year, you know that Conan O’Brien has taken the reins of The Tonight Show from Jay Leno. Well, he started this Monday. I watched the first two nights, and while the first show definitely showcased Conan’s nerves — and surprisingly uneven sketches considering the preparation time — the second show definitely stepped it up. Tom Hanks being a much better guest than Will Farrell helped. Man, I am so sick of Will Farrell. As the A.V. Club review mentioned, in that opening show they featured a clip from Land of the Lost where Farrell pours urine on himself…and no one laughed. I guess it’s not real urine, but still — that’s a new low. I mean, at least people laughed in my theater when John Turturro got pissed on in Transformers.
The second night had an awesome sketch where Conan got dressed up like a native Los Angeles-(ian)? It also had Tom Hanks getting hit in the head with a meteor. Even the bit making fun of Twitter was pretty OK. Not to mention how much more comfortable Conan seemed.
And then tonight they even stepped it up again with In The Year 3000, especially with regards to bashing social networking. Of course, some jokes were better than others, but the final one was perfect — so perfect I’m shocked no one has thought of it before:
YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook will merge, and will be called YouTwitFace
God, I love Conan.
Joba Chamberlain just pitched 8 innings of 2-run ball tonight. Only gave up 4 hits and 2 walks, while striking out 5. He also averaged 94 on his fastball, while hitting 97 more than a couple of times. He even laid out for a bunt to complete a double play. I’d say that’s a pretty dominant start. I wonder what excuses Francesa will come up with tomorrow to take him out of the rotation. DA INDIANS DIDNT HAVE SIZEMOREEE!!! HE GAVE UP A HOME RUN!! DA BULLPEN STILL HAS A HOLLEE! It should be fun, for sure. I was so ecstatic to find out how well Joba did, it almost made up for J.J. Putz being totally useless. Bobby Parnell in the Mets’ 8th inning spot, please.
I’m not sure what else I can add to this post other than the Mike’d Up theme:
I think a comment on YouTube sums it up best:
sounds like music from a power wheels commercial
I would go with 80s myself, but I think Power Wheels fits 80s perfectly. It works on multiple levels.
Left 4 Dead 2 was announced for PC/360 today at E3. It is set to be released November 17th this year, pretty much exactly a year after the original.
Valve has never pulled something like this. Maybe I can blame this betrayal on the fact that L4D was actually developed by Turtle Rock Studios, who were bought by Valve during development. Maybe I can blame this on EA or Microsoft moneyhats. Who knows for sure? What I do know is that I paid $45 for what was essentially a beta for L4D2. Was I stupid to assume that Valve would support Left 4 Dead like it has Team Fortress 2? Perhaps. Doesn’t mean I can’t be disappointed with a company I put on a pedestal for many years now.
Valve can still support Left 4 Dead, you say? Even if they do, the community will be split between the original and its too-soon sequel. The SDK still needs to be released, and they have already announced the sequel. This clearly confirms that L4D is thought of as a console franchise. We all should have figured this out when we first experienced the terrible matchmaking system. A console franchise set to MILK.
So for now, I’m definitely not buying this seemingly cash-in sequel, unless a reasonable price is announced for the PC. And even then, I’ll still be hesitant, considering they could start working on L4D3 upon release, just like they did with L4D2. All this adds up to L4D2 most likely being the first Valve game I don’t pre-order since the original Half-Life. Oh, and Blizzard regaining its foothold on my pedestal. Starcraft 2 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Left 4 Dead 2.
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