Somewhat Manly Nerd

I raked in some pretty good gifts this year, and some major cash money. This list is going to include some stuff I bought for myself with money I recieved early from my grandparents…

The Wire Seasons 1-3

I had only heard good things about this show for a while. I then bought the first season on a complete impulse buy after my friend said it’s his favorite show on television. Soon after, I found out Best Buy was having a 50% sale on HBO series on Christmas Eve (argh). I consequently got the next two seasons during that sale. I’m only halfway through the first season (only because I promised my friend to watch it with him) and it’s definitely a great show. Nothing mindblowing, but I’m not at all mad I paid the money for it. It truly shows what it’s like to be on both sides of a drug crackdown. It delves into police politics and corruption and how tough it can be to build and close a case; conversely, it follows the operation of a drug ring and the personal lives of the people caught up in “the game.” The show is really starting to pick up now and I can’t wait to watch the rest of it.

The Office Seasons 1 & 2

The funniest show on television, since Arrested Development was cancelled. I actually watched the first episode because I had watched the British Office and thought it was good (not but as great as many people feel it is) and also because Steve Carell was involved. Watching the first episode was painful, as it was basically the same exact script as the first British episode, and it seemed worse, even though I didn’t exactly love the British version either. I didn’t start watching again until the second season, by which the show had become amazingly hilarious. Even the first season has a couple of absolutely great episodes with Diversity Day and Basketball. The second season is one of the best seasons of television I’ve ever since. Almost every episode brings the laughs throughout and the Pam-Jim relationship will even get guys teary-eyed. The deleted scenes, from what I’ve seen, are damn good as well. The commentaries are great too. There’s even 10 short “webisodes” on the Season 2 DVD. The amount of funny material related to this show is insane. These DVDs are needed to complete any collection.

Seinfeld Season 7

This is the last season with Larry David at the writing helm with Jerry, which some people feel signalled the downfall of the show. From watching some later episodes now as I get older, I can see where they were coming from. But it started even in this season, while Larry David was still there. And I also adore some of the Season 9 episodes. Anyhow, this is just like the other 5 DVD sets already out – I just need to complete my collection. What can I say? It’s the funniest show in the history of television, even if some people felt the Season 7 finale went a bit too far. I need to watch the extra stuff on this disc, especially “Larry David’s Farewell.”

Curb Your Enthusiasm Season 5

This season started out pretty slow, but it redeemed itself with a few damn good episodes and a wonderful finale. The show could’ve ended with it and I wouldn’t have complained. But like all HBO series, it’s overpriced. That’s why I have other people buy them for me. Larry David is the funniest old Jew alive.

Bully

A game made by the same guys behind GTA, only this time the mischief is a bit less violent and vulgar – this game pits you back in middle school. I hear it’s a pretty fun game. I love the GTA games (although I have yet to play San Andreas, so I bet I’ll enjoy this game too.

Yoshi’s Island DS

Not a port of Yoshi’s Island, but a whole new game – I don’t know why they didn’t stick with the original 2 at the end. I’ve played through the first two worlds and it’s just as good as the original so far. Very, very fun game. Probably better than New Super Mario Bros, which was a bit of a letdown.

And then I got some t-shirts and some socks and a pair of pajama pants. Not a bad Christmas at all.

I truly hope everyone had a nice Christmas Eve and has a great Christmas.

To make the holiday that much more fun, be sure to pop the greatest Christmas movie ever into the DVD player:

Die Hard > all.

I’m a Nintendo fan. I try to hide it and work hard at being as unbiased as possible, but I grew up with NES and Mario – I can’t help but feel giddy when a new Mario or Zelda or (insert Nintendo franchise not named Mario Party here) game comes out. I love Nintendo games, at least for the most part.

You might be asking yourself right now, “If he loves Nintendo so much, why doesn’t he want a Wii?”

The answer is simple: That would doom the Wii to a slow, painful death. Every time I’ve been an early adopter of a new console, that system has lost to its main competitor and consequently been drained of 3rd-party support, leading to its demise. (Well, all the ones after the Genesis…it seems to get worse each time) Let’s have a look at my spoiled, only-child console history:

Sega Genesis - My mom left me with an ultimatum for Christmas in 1991 – Genesis or SNES. Now, this is actually two years into the Genesis’ life in the U.S., but it really didn’t become mainstream until Sonic hit the console in 1991. I chose Genesis because of Sonic; he was just too cool and too fast. Mario was old and busted. Sonic enabled Sega to truly fight Nintendo, and even win, for a while, but by the time the next generation of consoles would hit, the SNES would pull away in sales and game quality. When I saw games like Donkey Kong Country and Super Mario RPG coming out, I was freaking out. Ever since then, I wished I had chosen the SNES. My best friend had all the cool Genesis games anyhow since his older brother knew what was up. And I wouldn’t have had to watch in anguish the Sonic series fall off harder than The Simpsons in the past decade.

Nintendo 64 – This choice I don’t regret at all. I stand by my opinion that the N64 was the better console for the non-RPG gamer. Or maybe I wasn’t an RPG gamer because N64 had almost none worth mentioning. Nevertheless, games like Super Mario 64, Goldeneye, and Zelda: Ocarina of Time were games that, in my opinion, crushed anything the PSX had to offer. But it didn’t matter, as Nintendo was painted as the kiddy game company while Sony created what is now the Playstation generation. I destroyed Nintendo. (Actually, chooing cartidges destroyed Nintendo, but let’s move on…)

Dreamcast – What can I say? The PS2 killed this console before it was even released. I knew the PS2 was coming when I asked for DC for Christmas in 1999, but I didn’t care. Soul Calibur was the most amazing game I had ever seen in my life. I couldn’t believe how real it looked, and I couldn’t believe how smooth it was. 60 fps was more mesmorizing than the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. Too bad the console was dead in less than two years. But those two years were some of the best gaming I’ve ever had.

Gamecube – Once again, Nintendo was beaten by a newcomer to the industry – this time it was Microsoft. At least this console lasted twice as long as the Dreamcast, but that’s still only 4 years…if that. Resident Evil 4 was basically the last hurrah for the console, and that was released in January of 2005. I’m just glad Nintendo didn’t completely fuck Gamecube owners by deciding to release Zelda: Twilight Princess for the console, even if it was after the Wii version. What a bunch of assholes.

I think writing this article has changed my mind. Maybe part of the reason I’m not buying a Wii is due to Zelda being the only worthwhile game at this point, and it should’ve been released months earlier for Gamecube anyway. I’m not buying a Wii because Nintendo is run by a bunch of douchebags, and until I see this console isn’t going to turn into a 3rd-party wasteland, I’m going to hold off. I’m not buying a Wii because Xbox 360 is the better console at this point, and I’m waiting for a price drop and for the hardware issues to be worked out. I’m not buying a Wii since I’m really only excited for Super Mario Galaxy and Super Smash Bros. Brawl, both of which probably won’t be released until next holiday season.

It’s funny though – this is the first time in a while that I’m not hyped for a Nintendo console, and this one is being touted as the savior of gaming. If Wii Sports is the future of gaming, count me out.

Frank Costanza: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reach for the last one they had – but so did another man. As I rained blows opon him, I realized there had to be another way!

Kramer: What happened to the doll?

Frank Costanza: It was destroyed. But out of that, a new holiday was born. “A Festivus for the rest of us!”

Kramer: That musta been some kind of doll.

Frank Costanza: She was.

I hope everyone has a nice gathering of friends and/or family today. The Airing of Grievances and Feats of Strength always make for good wholesome fun. I know I will be celebrating this joyous holiday.

I hope everyone has their pole…

And I’m not talking about anti-Semitism. (I personally thought that drunken tirade was pretty funny – come on, “sugartits”? – that’s priceless) I’m referring to Gibson’s love for violence and his obvious attraction towards tortured heroes. This subtitled film that takes place during the downfall of the Mayan civilization is no different.

On one hand, Gibson shows a bit of Mayan culture, but on the other, it really only serves as the backdrop setting for the personal story that Gibson tells in Apocalypto. The narrative follows the rough path of Jaguar Paw, played by Rudy Youngblood (an unknown actor, but he turns in a great performance) and his village in the jungles of the Yucatan Peninsula. The first half provides some funny moments and characterization of the people in his village, and then goes on to show a major Mayan city of the time. The aspects of this Mayan metropolis that Gibson displays in the movie haven’t gone over well with his critics and historians – they say that he portrays them as brutal, uncultured savages. Well, he didn’t portray Britain in too much of a positive light in Braveheart either.

Personally, I felt Gibson did an amazing job of putting his audience in that time and place, possibly better than in did he with The Passion of the Christ. It truly felt like a high-budget History Channel special for much of the first half of the movie – which is possibly why some people were angered by Gibson’s portrayal of the Mayan city. This just tells me he did an amazing job at making the film feel authentic. In terms of entertainment value, this part of the movie is a bit uneven and even discomforting at times. There is also a prophecy scene that edges on the comical, in addition to dragging on too long. You’ll know what I’m talking about the minute you see it.

The movie doesn’t kick into full gear until about halfway through, when it turns into a Predator-style romp through the jungle. The last hour of the movie is some of the most suspenseful and satisfying action that I’ve seen all year. You might squirm in your seat at some of it, but you will love it if you have any testoterone in your body. It’s pretty damn awesome, and possibly worth the price of admission alone. I also feel this is a film meant for theater viewing. It’s not quite as epic as it seemed to claim in trailers, but it’s still incredibly cinematic. Gibson knows how to make a visually striking film.

Overall, I give this film one crazed smiling Mel Gibson.

Apparently, these two have kicked off one of the greatest celebrity feuds I’ve ever seen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gT9Pa9d90M

And I have never seen someone just come out and complete destroy someone with schoolyard insults like Donald Trump does in this video, holy crap.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGZaCnfNgLE

I don’t know what else I can say on the matter. I really don’t like either person. Trump is a pompous asshole who is probably not worth “billions of dollars” like he says, but damn, that was brutal. He is such a cocky bastard, and it’s awesome. I wonder if Rosie is sitting at home crying into a vat of ice cream right now. Rosie seems like a fake, as most TV personalities are, so I don’t mind seeing her get completely owned. Oh well, at least the rest of America gets some damn good entertainment out of this feud.

SEGA ANNOUNCES VIRTUA FIGHTER 5 FOR XBOX 360

Premiere Fighting Game Franchise Makes First Appearance on Microsoft’s Next Generation Videogame Console

STOCKHOLM, SWEDEN (December 21, 2006) – SEGA of America, Inc. and SEGA Europe Ltd. today announced that the highly anticipated arcade fighting game, Virtua Fighter™ 5, will make its way onto the Xbox 360™ video game and entertainment system. Virtua Fighter™ 5 is scheduled for release on Xbox 360™ in North America and in Europe during late summer 2007. The game will also be available for the PLAYSTATION®3 computer entertainment system on February 20th, 2007 in North America and will be available in Europe simultaneously with the system’s launch in March 2007.

I have actually never played a VF game myself. It’s a shame, but I’m not a big fighting game fan anyhow. I played Super Street Fighter Turbo on my Genesis a lot when I was younger and then Soul Calibur got me back into the genre a bit, but I only had a Gamecube up until a few weeks ago, so all I had to choose from was Soul Calibur 2…and… Super Smash Bros. Melee, but that’s like a cross between a fighting game and a party game. It’s a different genre, like Power Stone.

Anyway, back to the news. Sony is losing its exclusives one by one. And Japanese exclusives at that, which should have them shitting their pants. Playstation doesn’t have a GTA exclusive this generation, then it lost Dragon Quest IX to a freaking handheld, and now it lost Virtua Fighter. This spells trouble in Japan, where the Xbox 360 had a surge last week with the release of Blue Dragon and the DS continues to dominate. In America, I’m not quite sure how much this factors in, but I do know if this trend continues, there won’t be much of a reason to have a PS3 over an Xbox 360, especially considering the big exclusive that Microsoft has. We all know what game I’m talking about.

The Nuggets are going to need two balls for both Iverson and Carmelo Anthony.

I hope Iverson can take a sucker punch and I hope Melo can learn to moonwalk faster because AI is pretty quick.

I just don’t understand this at all. The Nuggets gave up Joe Smith, Andre Miller and two first-round picks. That’s a damn good package. We will see. I don’t watch the NBA much at all anymore because the Knicks are goddamn embarassing, but this will be interesting to watch.

“Reliable sources close to Nintendo have told CVG that Super Mario Galaxy and Metroid Prime 3: Corruption on Wii, and Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass on DS will not see light of day until Christmas 2007, which could mean anything from October to December.”

Source.

Well, I’m glad that I didn’t succumb and buy a Wii now. How can Metroid be delayed that long??? Holy shit, there are officially no worthwhile games coming out for Wii for a lonnnggg while.

But the source isn’t exactly the most reliable, so I’m just going to go back to playing my Gamecube version of Zelda and laugh at this, assuming it’s true.

Anything funny on SNL nowadays involves Andy Samberg. Granted, I don’t watch the show, so I guess I’m not qualified to truly judge, but the last two things from SNL to be worshipped on the internet are Lazy Sunday and now this…

Dick in a Box