Somewhat Manly Nerd

Next U2 video to feature kids in Africa wearing 19-0 hats and shirts.

I’m still in shock. I just witnessed quite possibly the greatest Super Bowl of all-time. Adding up all the factors — the perfect season on the line, the Giants underdog storyline throughout the playoffs, Brady vs. the Mannings, and the fact that the game itself was absolutely amazing — I don’t know how anything else can stack up. I wish I was in the city to go insane with thousands of other fans. I’m not even a Giants fan, but it was a New York team going up against an undefeated New England team led by the Anti-Christ himself. Every New Yorker, and hopefully the vast majority of the country, was rooting for the Giants to smash Brady’s face in. And they most definitely did.

The Giants defense rattled Brady like no other team this season. He got hit at least a dozen times. He was throwing passes 5 years off target. He didn’t know where he was by the end of the game. They held the mighty Pats offense to 14 points. No one saw that coming, including myself. The Giants D-line was the MVP of the game, but I guess Eli deserved it for this play alone.

God reached down and slipped Eli free from that sack. He also provided David Tyree the stickum to hold onto that catch. I can’t describe how unbelievable that play was. One of the greatest football plays I’ve ever seen. It will be shown approximately 238929834 times over the next week, and I will never get sick of it. The new Immaculate Reception.

My friend Frank said that he knew the Pats were in trouble once Belichick showed up with a different hoodie. You don’t change your sweatshirt after 18 wins in a row. I thought the opposite when I saw that Peyton had shown up at the game. Superstition: it’s the baseball player in me. I’m kinda pissed I didn’t lay any money down on the Giants. I knew they’d cover the spread at the very least. Bah.

That’s about all I have to say on the subject at the moment. Not much needs to be said. The Giants just pulled off one of the biggest upsets in professional sports history. Eli Manning silenced his critics, me being one of them. The Patriots and Tom Brady’s quest for immortality was ruined. And Tiki Barber is left to eat massive amounts of crow and know that the Giants won a Super Bowl the first year without him. More than enough ownage to go around.

And yes, this website is hilarious: Perfectville

I wish I could see the video they made for the Patriots.

That is the question that has haunted me since the announcement of the game. And that most definitely shouldn’t be the case. I should be fingering — err, HOPOing? — my way through the solos in “Ride the Lightning” and “Blackened”. I should be crashing and burning my way through “Won’t Get Fooled Again” and “Tom Sawyer” on Expert-difficulty drums. I should be sing…maybe not.

My questionable vocal capabilities aside, I should’ve been one of the first people to buy and cherish Rock Band. (Technically, I was, but I bought it for a Canadian and shipped it to him out of the goodness of my heart.) I was hyping the game since its infancy, proselytizing the masses, only to turn around and buy Guitar Hero III because I couldn’t wait the extra month. With a new rhythm game to play, I decided I would wait on Rock Band. Since then, I’ve played it on Festivus over a friend’s house, and at Best Buy a couple of times — once for an hour and a half with a complete stranger. It was a amazing bonding experience.

So I’m still waiting. I’m waiting for a reasonably priced game+drums SKU that will never come. I’m waiting for the full albums that were promised to be announced. I’m waiting for Muse, Soundgarden, and Led Zeppelin to get DLC packs. I’m waiting for the complaints about the fake instruments to stop flooding the internet. But these are just the excuses I come up with. I’m not refraining from buying the game due to these reasons, I’m coming up with these excuses because I’m afraid of buying the game. (Yeah, I just watched Se7en today. I love that movie.)

It’s taken me a while to sink down to each level of nerddom I’ve experienced in my lifetime. I lurked GAF for almost a year before I finally registered. For years, I never had the urge to go on IRC, but I eventually did that. When I first heard of Guitar Hero, I thought everyone on GAF praising it was a loser of the highest order; it took real-life friends lauding it and me playing GH at Best Buy numerous times to finally accept its transcendent awesomeness into my heart and home. Talking to a internet friend on the phone — another step that really set off an alarm with my self-consciousness. Now I have reached another crossroads: owning a massive plastic drum set.

I don’t know how I could look my parents in the eye while owning a collection of Fisher-Price musical instruments in their house. It’s bad enough that I already own two fake guitars that take up a good amount of under-the-bed storage space. A third fake guitar and I might as well build a fake guitar stand. Oh wait, someone at GAF already did that. I pray to God that I never get that accepting of my pathetic hobbies.

Maybe I’m too insecure, but I think a bit of self-awareness and restraint is a good thing. I have no doubt I would own Rock Band if I lived on my own, but by that time I’ll be supporting myself, which hopefully would alleviate the embarrassment of owning such toys. Nothing screams pathetic like living at home with piles of music game controllers surrounding you — which is pretty much what would happen considering I have no storage space left.

In closing, I love you Rock Band, but I think I’m going to limit myself to Guitar Hero for the foreseeable future. I just wish it had awesome DLC like you do.

I saw this video posted elsewhere, and it is too great of a live performance to NOT post on here.

Why did they have to break up?

I apologize in advance for this post, but I just really wanted to use this post title.

Recently, I’ve noticed several posts turning into the LJ posts of old — personal anecdotes included. Heath Ledger, WoW, and Burnout Paradise all in the same post. Rambo, Tom Cruise, and Veronica Belmont in another. It’s not that detrimental to the quality of the blog — in my eyes at least — but I’m pretty sure it sucks out potential page hits. More posts, more hits, and hopefully more readers. Yes, I know that last part isn’t going to happen, but a man can dream. The only reason I care about this crap is because I’m moving to my own webspace (which better be registered soon), and I hope to support the small cost with ad revenue. I’ve also been curious for a while as to how much money Google AdSense generates. I could easily game the system to get more hits from spam bots, but I would like to keep the blog readable. I’ll just digg the occasional post that I feel the internet realm would enjoy. I should gather up friends on that site, so they can digg my articles even though they may be duplicates of stuff that was posted a week before. I just saw that happen with the Rambo kill count chart. Blah, Digg.

Massive blog post. Wrote up a lot of it while I was still working. Yeah.

MOVIES

No Country for Old Men

First hour and half is some of the most tense and masterful filmmaking I’ve ever seen – which is enough to make it one of the best movies I’ve seen this year. Javier Bardem pretty much locked up the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor, as he is the scariest villain in a film since arguably Hannibal Lector. And Josh Brolin doesn’t do such a bad job in the starring role, either. Unfortunately, the last 30 minutes consist of Tommy Lee Jones being old and talking about being old. The abrupt tone shift is just deflating. I’ve never seen an audience so completely inert at the end of a movie. I guess that was the Coen Brothers’ intent, but that doesn’t make it any better (and definitely not more entertaining) of a movie.

The Bourne Ultimatum

Another Bourne movie, another awesome ride. The showcase hand-to-hand fight was by far the most brutal in the series, and it was the most-action packed of the three. The end to arguably the most consistently great American film trilogy ever. Not really much to say here, as you should know what to expect by now.

Hot Fuzz

The British trio of Simon Pegg, Edger Wright, and Nick Frost deliver on their second film. It may not be as great as Shaun of the Dead, which is almost perfect, but it’s an original, fun romp of a movie. It’s a bit long and slow for a movie of this type, but the buildup throughout leads to an incredible payoff in the last 20 minutes or so.

Gone Baby Gone

I can’t believe an Affleck family presentation was this damn good. Casey is a better actor than his brother and Ben is more than competent behind the camera, apparently. Surprise of the year for me and, if I had to pick, my favorite movie of the year — purely due to my love of the theme of people doing the wrong things for the right reasons.

Superbad/Knocked Up

Neither are quite at the top of my favorite comedies, but together they form a pretty damn formidable and complimentary duo. I really expected to absolutely LOVE Superbad, but it was a bit too ridiculous, even for me. And that’s saying a lot. Knocked Up is definitely a great date movie, so it’s not something I feel like ever watching again by myself. Both involve Judd Apatow, who seems to be involved with almost every comedy nowadays.

There Will Be Blood

Incredible. Paul T. Anderson directed the one film this year that I think will be looked back at as a undeniable classic (although I haven’t seen The Assassination of Jesse James and the Ridiculously Long Title). Daniel Day-Lewis gives a mesmerizing performance, but that’s to be expected. What was more surprising how well Paul Dano (the Nietzsche kid from Little Miss Sunshine) rises to the occasion. And Jonny Greenwood’s score is so unconventional, yet it works so amazingly well at setting the evil, foreboding tone of the film. Basically, everyone involved just does an awesome job. In contrast to No Country, this film builds to its final, stunning act instead of abruptly shifting in tone and meandering to an end.

GAMES

Assassin’s Creed

Surprise of the year. I really wasn’t caught in the hype leading up to the release, but the dichotomy of the review scores definitely shocked me a bit and tempered my urge to play the game. I was going to ask for it for Christmas, but bumped it down to a rental. After borrowing it from Frank and ripping through it, turns out it probably deserves the sale. The repetitiveness definitely starts to wear on you after a while, but the detailed cities and the crowd physics and AI truly show what next-gen means.

God of War II

Just like the original, just MORE. Not a bad thing.

Mass Effect

Bioware has created a massive fictional galaxy replete with dozens of worlds and species, each with their own identities and histories. The game is basically a space opera. I haven’t gotten too far, but even after only a short time I’ve learned a bunch of cool abilities and learned to utilize them well in concert with the variety of weapons.

Rock Band

The natural expansion of Guitar Hero, brought by the creators of Guitar Hero. The guitar charts are more noob-friendly than the ridiculous Guitar Hero III, but the drums provide the challenge this time around. Vocals are just an added bonus. Playing on Festivus was the most fun I’ve had playing a video game with friends in a long time. Since then, I’ve played at Best Buy for an hour and half with a complete stranger and it was totally awesome. I don’t know how I’ve restrained myself from buying it this long.

Call of Duty 4

Best online multiplayer FPS I’ve played on a console, possibly ever. The perk system is one of the coolest ideas to be integrated into an FPS, and the 60 FPS (most of the time) soothes the soul. The SP is a bit archaic, but it more than makes up for it in theatricality and wow factor. Just don’t play on Veteran unless you care about achievements. I’d go on more about it, but it overtaking Halo 3 one week means people know of its greatness.

The Orange Box

Best gaming value ever, even ignoring the already-released Half-Life 2 and HL2:Episode 1. From everything I hear, Episode 2 is at the very least on par with HL2 (which means it’s awesome). I know from first-hand experience that Team Fortress 2 is fun as hell on the PC. And Portal is the innovative and charming bite-sized game that doesn’t come along nearly enough. Possibly the most clever writing ever in a video game.

Bioshock

Was thinking about leaving it off the list, but it’s such a unique experience (for people who haven’t played System Shock 2, like myself) that it needs to be included. It may fall apart a bit after the climatic encounter, and the final battle might be pure cheese that doesn’t fit the tone of the rest of the game, but it’s an amazing story that should be played through by every gamer. The gameplay might not be all that it can be, but the atmosphere does a good job of making up for it.

ALBUMS

Arcade Fire – Neon Bible

I wasn’t a big fan of their first album, even though it seemed to get massive hype from the indie crowd. While many people don’t seem to like this second album as much, I think it’s vastly superior. This may be due to my loving his Vin Butler’s Springsteen impression on many of the tracks, as opposed to his singing voice throughout most of their debut album. I remember reading a comment on GAF, “Like Springsteen doing New Wave,” I guess that’s kinda the sound on a lot of songs. And it’s great.

Arctic Monkeys – Favourite Worst Nightmare

Another band whose debut album I didn’t love quite as much as many of the critics, and whose sophomore album I think is awesome. This album just rocks a lot harder and faster than their debut, yet manages to have some slower, more lyric-focused songs mixed in. I think the second half of the album is vastly superior to the first half.

Radiohead – In Rainbows

My favorite Radiohead album since OK Computer. It’s like they rediscovered what made them great in the first place. I really hope their experimental period is over. I enjoyed select songs on their past few albums, but overall they were pretty subpar. In Rainbows seems to follow the structure of OKC, even down to the crap song in the middle. The minute I heard 15 Step, I knew this was going to be a cool album. It has that signature Radiohead creativity, but they actually made a fun song out of it, instead of a tech demo.

Daft Punk – Alive 2007

I don’t like electronic music. At all. That hyped LCD Soundsystem album? Crap. On the other hand, this live album is freaking awesome. I had never listened to Daft Punk before this, and going back to their album versions of the tracks packed into this album is just disappointing. This album is all the Daft Punk (and electronic music) I need.

TELEVISION

The Wire Season 4

The one show that gets better and better with each and every season. This season concentrated on the education system and a white man running for Mayor of Baltimore. The greatest social commentary currently airing on television, and has been argued as being the most important television show in at least a decade. Everything has been building through the four seasons, and it all points to season 5 being possibly the greatest season of television ever. The show is written like a novel, so I can only suspect that what is planned for the final season is incredible.

Curb Your Enthusiasm Season 6

I bought the DVD set and ripped through the 10 episodes in two days. I had heard some rumblings about this season not being quite as good as the others, but I think this was possibly the best since Season 2. The season-long arcs were well-thought out, the new characters were hilarious, and the season finale couldn’t be more perfect. I cannot stress that fact enough. Fucking PERFECT.

BOOKS

Our Dumb World: Atlas of Planet Earth

I’m not even sure if I read any other books that were released this year, but this is the only one that you need. Well, Stephen Colbert’s book is probably good too. But this is just untouchable. The Onion has outdone itself once again. Just a taste…

Pure awesome.

From 8 years ago, but it’s new to the outside world.

Thank you, Deadspin.

After being exposed to my music taste, most of the editors at Pitchfork wouldn’t know whether to laugh, cry, or hurl. On the other hand, I don’t write elitist bullshit like this:

And “The Funeral” is a song that people connect to, as reader emails continue to attest. So long as it doesn’t end up soundtracking some crummy indie movie, it’ll be ours forever.

That’s from their “Top 100 Tracks of 2006.” I meant to write a short post about this the second I heard the song in SKATE, but I (as usual) procrastinated. So let me say it now: OWNED. It wasn’t even an indie film, it was a fucking VIDEO GAME. And now it’s in a Ford Focus commercial too! Band of Horses sold out big time. I wonder if Pitchfork even likes them anymore.

So anyhow, here are my favorite tracks of the 2007:

Hyperpower! – Nine Inch Nails
I thought about adding the second track of Year Zero after this, but I figured Daft Punk could follow it up good enough.

Around the World/Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger – Daft Punk
I usually hate electronic music. So for me to love this song means it is pure, unadulterated awesome.

United States – Smashing Pumpkins
Unfortunately, this is a live version. And Corgan really can’t sing live…or in the studio for that matter. Maybe I should’ve picked another song off the album. I really love the studio version, though.

Do Me A Favour – Arctic Monkeys
I really love a lot of songs on Favourite Worst Nightmare, and was tempted to pick another song, but I’ve listened to this one by far the most.

Fake Empire – The National
Good, simple song. I like the guy’s deep voice and the mini-crescendo near the end. Yeah.

Reckoner – Radiohead
Amazing. Thom Yorke’s voice is beautiful.

Underdogs – Manic Street Preachers
A band that never really got that popular over here in the U.S, but has some clout in the indie community. Never heard them until this year. Much different from their older stuff, but I really enjoy this song.

Misfit Love – Queens of the Stone Age
I’ve listened to Sick, Sick, Sick more, but I figured I’d choose a non-single.

The Pretender – Foo Fighters
Especially since I picked this over-played single. I’m not a huge Foo Fighters fan, but you know, their singles are always damn solid.

Pioneer to the Falls – Interpol
Great song. I’m not good at describing why I like songs.

Is There a Ghost – Band of Horses
Never used to be a fan of high-pitched singers, but I guess I’ve grown accustomed to a few. I still rather have a better singer, but this song manages to be good with what – 14 words?

Antichrist Television Blues – Arcade Fire
“No Cars Go” is my favorite song on Neon Bible, but it’s a recreation of the song from their debut EP. I love this song because Win Butler (the singer) is doing his best Bruce Springsteen impression. Such a great, great song with damn good lyrics. The Boss is a fan, so you should be too.

I was thinking about putting a Chevelle song on here, but they blatantly ripped off a Tool riff in one of their songs. I spliced together a clip of the offense. Maybe I’ll post it up on Pownce…unfortunately, I have basically no friends on it.

Actually, I started to post all these songs up on Pownce. I stopped once I realized you need to be friends with the person who’s posting the mp3s.

 

I still can’t believe this trade.

From ESPN:

In return for Santana, the Twins would receive center fielder Carlos Gomez and pitchers Phil Humber, Kevin Mulvey and Deolis Guerra — a package which some talent evaluators believe could be the fourth-best offer that Minnesota received during this process.

Excuse me while I laugh at the joke that is Twins management. (You should too, by the way.)

The amount of fail in this trade is immense. The very definition of EPIC FAIL. The Twins really must be run by a bunch of monkeys. First, they decide to build an open-air stadium in Minnesota, and now they push the Red Sox and Yankees so far that both those teams dropped out, leaving the Mets pitiful offer as the only option. Either that, or they *really like* Carlos Gomez. Just wow. I almost feel bad and hope that one of the pitchers turns out to be good. This of course assuming that Santana doesn’t break down. I will cry if that happens.

But I will probably hang myself if the Mets somehow botch the contract negotiations. They have 72 hours to agree on terms with Santana. There’s no way Omar will screw that up, though. I don’t want to contemplate upon the possibility. It’s just not possible. It’d be worse than finding Allison Stokke naked on my bed, but subsequently finding out that there’s a force field around her. Cocktease total.

I think this makes the Mets the team to beat in the NL, but they were the team to beat last year too, and we all know how that turned out. I still don’t see them being able to compete with the top of the AL. If Delgado doesn’t completely suck it up again, and the bullpen learns to get batters out, maybe they’ve got a chance. And obviously Pedro is a huge if. Him coming back like the Pedro of Old would definitely put them on the road to the World Series, and give them two lights-out starters. But the chances of that happening are probably like 25%.

For now, I will celebrate a great trade. One that almost makes up for the Kazmir trade of a few years ago. But not really. At all. God, that trade was fucking horrible.

Just a little update on this spawn of Satan. I’ve noticed that my previous declaration of Tom Brady’s true nature has been by far my most popular post recently (no doubt with some help from Digg). I figured he at least deserved another post, considering his powers of evil have presented him with the opportunity for a perfect season this Sunday. Not to mention the events that have since transpired that only support my hypothesis: leaving his long-time girlfriend after getting her pregnant, taping other teams’ signs, and bringing together Yankees and Red Sox fans on the internet. Oh yes, I have seen it. Perhaps this fact is more damning of the scum involved, but some people are sadly too weak to resist the occult powers of Brady. It took me an hour to clean the projectile vomit out of my keyboard after seeing a virtual high-five between two fans of the aforementioned teams.

His powers have also reinvigorated Randy Moss, caused Defensive Coordinators to call timeouts at the worst possible times, and have turned the Red Sox into World Champions. Don’t let the Yankee cap fool you. That’s just him trying to trick the world into looking away from the truth. Hell, even the Celtics are trouncing the NBA. But even Brady knows not to waste his powers on the NHL.

I’m convinced that his loss to Peyton Manning last year was a sign of God’s intervention. God has taken the Manning brothers under his wing; it is fairly obvious that Peyton’s powers have been transferred to Eli this postseason. Brady’s fear of the newly-powerful Manning family most likely spurred him to make those Giants field-goal attempts go awry in the NFC Championship Game. But Brett Favre’s ineptitude was able to override his powers. I guess he couldn’t make THREE game-winning field-goal attempts go wide. Whether or not the Giants can slay the beast is just a matter of how well Eli can channel God’s power to combat Evil Lord Brady.

Do I think he can do it? Can’t say I’m counting on it. But I’ve been betting against the Giants this entire season. Hopefully they’ll continue to prove me wrong. For the sake of humanity.

NOVAK DJOKOVIC!!!!! IN STRAIGHT SETS!!!!

Australian Open Semifinal – 7-5, 6-3. 7-6 (7-5)

First Halo 3 falls to Call of Duty 4, and now this! Can the Patriots be far behind?!?

I just woke up and saw this and have to go to work, so I can’t write much. I just felt like I NEEDED to post this. I woke up in the middle of the night right around when the match started over in Australia. Maybe that was God giving me the chance to see Federer’s Grand Slam Final streak end. And I blew it. It also broke a 40-match hard court winning streak. Man, this is so awesome.

FEDERBOT IS HUMAN!