Somewhat Manly Nerd

When I woke up today, I knew that I’d be stopping by my aunt’s house 20 minutes away to help her with a computer issue. What I didn’t know is that she’d lead me down the slippery slope to iPhone ownership.

I arrived at my aunt’s house shortly after 1 to help her figure out why the Spanish speech projects her students had put on flash drives wouldn’t play for her. That turned out to be an easy enough fix — she had to open the flash drives to look at the contents, so she could manually select the Audacity project files. She was probably clicking “Play” when autoplay came up, and it would try to play the Audacity file with WMP or some shit. Just a guess. What’s important here is that in the middle of this activity, I noticed an unopened iPod Touch sitting next to the laptop. How could that not catch someone’s eye? Apparently she received it free two months earlier when she bought a MacBook for her son (my cousin). Not a bad deal.

I continued cleaning up the messy computer: deleting programs, and telling others not to automatically begin their retarded processes on startup. Meanwhile, I continued to eye the iPod Touch, as I can’t help but be mesmerized by a shiny new piece of hardware. Apple products may be overpriced, but no one can deny that they’re almost all striking pieces of hardware. The Touch is half the thickness of my 2.5 year old 80GB iPod and has a screen double the size. It’s impressive before you even turn it on.

As I waited for the installation of Vista Service Pack 1 to finish (yes, I really helped my aunt out!), I mentioned how curious I was about the iPod Touch. I admittedly have been somewhat interested in the iPhone, but the monthly price would naturally keep any unemployed person away. I didn’t realize how easily that curious comment would be construed as wanting the iPod Touch. My aunt immediately replied with saying I could have it, and I was fairly shocked. The natural reaction to protest such a gift was somewhat weighed down by the thought of actually being able to mess around with such a gadget. I tried to tell her the various cool things she could do with it, but she wasn’t having any of it. I knew her son already had one, so I asked if her daughter (other cousin) would want it, and she insisted she would not be interested. I can’t say I put up the biggest fight at this point. I was getting an iPod Touch for Geek Squad work!

I didn’t think of the consequences of having such an awesome piece of hardware in my possession. Ignorance is bliss, and now the thought of having all the functionality of this iPod Touch practically all the time is already getting to me. The phone part of it barely fits into the equation. As I have already posted, I could check Fangraphs with the greatest of ease any time! I could watch Mike Tyson talking about stomping on children’s testicles whenever I wish! I could play games and annoyingly post my high score to Twitter every time! The possibilities are endless.

As for right now, I’m still giddy messing around with the few free apps I’ve downloaded. I’ve also uploaded some pictures and a converted episode of Peep Show (thanks, Handbrake) just to see how they’d look. It’s pretty much a technological marvel, but the iPhone is obviously on an entirely higher level, so having an iPod Touch only makes one realize how awesome having an iPhone would be. Goddamn it. Fuck you, Steve Jobs. Let Verizon in on your shit so maybe I could pay less than $75/mo for a reasonable iPhone plan.

Steve Jobs to me: Get a job, douchebag.

Good defenses don’t give up 3 touchdowns in the 4th quarter. Good defenses don’t let some rookie QB named Chad Henne go 20-26 with 241 yards. Good defenses don’t give 400 yards of total offense. The Jets’ defense is evidently not good.

Why did Chad Pennington have to break his shoulder for the 25th time? There’s no way he would have been able to cut up the Jets’ defense like that. One of the long bombs Henne threw would have died halfway to its intended destination if it had left Pennington’s arm.

In Mark Sanchez news, the USC rookie had another solid game. I don’t quite know why ESPN was sucking his cock so much during and after a 12-24, 172-yard performance (actually I do, he’s so dreamy), but at least he didn’t throw any inceptions or fumble the ball in his own end zone. He played a smart game for the most part, and aired it out pretty damn well when he needed to. This should have been enough for the REX RYAN DEFENSEâ„¢, but they didn’t hold up their side of the deal. Both times the Jets took the lead in the 4th quarter, they couldn’t wait to give it back!

Disappointing result tonight aside, I haven’t been this optimistic about the future of the Jets in a long time. The Braylon Edwards trade already paid dividends tonight with his absolutely phenomenal almost-touchdown catch, and Sanchez is only going to get better. Sure, it’s frustrating to see the defense play so shitty in a game they should have won — especially after their impressive performance against a much better offense last week — but I’m going to chalk it up to the learning process. Maybe the REX RYAN DEFENSEâ„¢ just needs a bit more time to truly be in Beast Mode every single week.

I’m still more upset about the Phillies winning their NLDS tonight. Douchebags.

Yes, I know I said I’d be WRITING for the rest of the week. I’m just utilizing the “1 picture = 1000 words” formula, ok? This is why I only need two pictures in this post. This post also serves as the additional purpose of teaching me how to properly utilize the NextGEN Gallery plugin. You can click on the pics to see slightly bigger versions!

My eyeball, contact lens included.

Showing off my Quake-like burn from my toaster oven.

It’s awesome when you’re walking your dog and you think of a whole personal rant about writing and then when you get home and sit in front of your massive laptop, you have no urge other than the one to hit F5 while surfing the same few websites.

I’ve now had this post editing box up for an hour without typing anything. This is what happens when you talk on post on forums while watching a playoff baseball game…

…and another hour later I’m tuning from the Phillies ending the Rockies season to the Jets-Dolphins game almost at halftime.

Perhaps it’s just easier for me to be honest with myself in my head, knowing I’m not spewing all my thoughts out on my blog for the entire virtual and real world to see. Who wants to read about how writing is one of the few things I truly enjoy? And that I could honestly see myself doing it all fucking day every single day? Well, I was trying to prove to myself that I could do it, saying that I’d write my ass off for this blog for the rest of the week. I’ve already failed miserably for the past two hours. I don’t know what this means. Possibly that I should start looking harder for a real job?

Yeah, I definitely find it impossible to be too personal on the internet at this juncture. I have plenty of stuff rattling around my head to type (the same stuff that popped into my head while watching my dog take a shit), but I don’t see the purpose of airing it on this blog. I need to stick to posting stats from Baseball-Reference and Fangraphs, posting YouTube videos, giving my thoughts on random pieces of entertainment, and dishing out REAL TALK when it’s most needed.

Fuck the Phillies.

Although, Boston is certainly not happy right now. Red Sox Nation tears are flowing across New England.

Yesterday, the Cardinals were put out of their misery. Today we witnessed the end of both ALDS series. One sweep was expected, what with Andy Pettitte matching up against Carl Pavano, but I can’t imagine many people saw the Red Sox blowing a 5-2 lead through 7 innings. The combination of Billy Wagner and Jonathon Papelbon gave up 4 runs in the final two innings, forcing Massholes to leave the stadium in a state that only could have lead to many racial slurs being shouted and wives and girlfriends getting beaten.

Going into the playoffs I’m sure many people figured the Twins would get swept, but both the Red Sox and Cardinals going down in flames has to be a surprise to most baseball fans — and ESPN experts. Last year, everyone picked the Cubs to roll over the Dodgers and we all saw how that turned out. I really shouldn’t bother posting the following, since it happens every year in every sport, but it’s fun nonetheless. They get paid for these predictions!

It’s kinda amazing: the two AL closers who are supposed to be close to Mariano Rivera’s level both failed spectacularly in a past few days. Today was the first time Jonathon Papelbon ever let up a run in the postseason, but it would have been fine if he only let up a run (instead of three). The moron threw 26 straight fastballs. I guess he was attempting his best Rivera impression, only without the success. As for the other closer, the guy who is always seemingly overlooked and underrated, Joe Nathan, showed why he’s not worth a second look. Holy shit, he sucked. Yeah, yeah small sample size, but he still sucked. He single-handedly made A-Rod amazing in the postseason! I thought A-Rod sucked? I guess that means Nathan sucks more. Simple logic here, people.

Totally awesome note: A-Rod has a higher postseason OPS than Derek Jeter.

Meanwhile, Rivera pitched 3.2 scoreless innings in the series, notching 7 strikeouts in the process. Somehow this is not surprising, considering we’ve all come to the consensus that he’s an android from the future.

So all that’s left is a Phillies-Rockies series that is in the middle of its 3rd game as I type this — which reminds me of how moronic the scheduling today was. Who’s idea was it to play a game in Denver at 7 pm local time? Because when I think of baseball, I think of 30 degree weather. And playing a game involving a West Coast team at noon eastern time — meaning people in California needed to wake up at 9 am on a Sunday to watch playoff baseball — is just a dick move. Bud Selig is a senile old man who has no business running a multi-billion dollar business, ugh.

Bear McCreary – All Along the Watchtower

I was going to embed the YouTube video of this, even though Battlestar Galactica nerdiness isn’t very cool, but luckily the video couldn’t even be embedded. So mp3 only! I’m going to end up talking about BSG anyway, I apologize. The show left a bad taste in my mouth with its fairly disastrous final season, but there were still at least some high points. And even though the 4th season was bad, that doesn’t stop the first two and a half seasons from being probably the most epic show I’ve ever watched. Every time I go back and listen to the soundtracks (usually skipping around), I remember how much I enjoyed it, and get the urge to post a random song on this blog.

A 12 inning one-game playoff for the honor to lose to the Yankees, a complete game by a midseason pick-up, and an imminent free-agent pulling a Daniel Murphy in the outfield. There is nothing better than October baseball. Nothing. Except maybe steak and blowjob day.

That has to be the worst error on a potential final out in a playoff game since Buckner. Feel free to enlighten or remind me of anything in the past 23 years so embarrassing and devastating to occur with two outs in the 9th inning. Matt Holliday got hit in the nuts with a fly ball and then tripped over his own feet. It doesn’t get any more emasculating than that on a baseball field.

So, the Cardinals are pretty much done now. Anything’s possible, of course — I know that better than anyone now due to recent events — but asking a team to come back after sending out two of the five best starters in the NL this year and LOSING is asking a wee bit too much. I’m so pissed I didn’t make a preseason prediction post or a postseason prediction post. Before making any decisions, it’s advisable to check out 4Rabet user reviews to learn about the platform’s reputation and reliability. I would have picked the Dodgers both times! Damn it. If only Twitter kept track of everything I ever posted, or else I could link to the random time I replied to someone’s question with my prediction of a Yankees-Dodgers World Series. You’d have to believe me!

Getting back to that one-game playoff, how fucking amazing was that? I thought that game was over at least five times. Game of the year material? And is Chip Caray worst professional announcer in the history of mankind material? LINE DRIVE BASE HIT — CAUGHT! He makes Ron Darling worse by being in the same booth with him, goddamn it. The only good thing about TBS’s coverage so far has been that Pitch Trax graphic. Now everyone knows it’s truly the YEAR OF THE UMP — COMPUTERS 2010â„¢.

I wouldn’t give a shit about Glenn Beck if people didn’t listen to him, but unfortunately, way too many Americans actually buy all his bullshit. So when Colbert totally destroys him like he does in this segment, I can’t help but love it, while also laughing the entire time.

Everyone can appreciate some Chris Hansen action. And Roman Polanski is a creepy rapist who gets defended by people in Hollywood because he made some good movies. As Chris Rock said on the Jay Leno Show last week:

“People are defending Roman Polanski because he made good movies 30 years ago? Are you kidding me? Even Johnny Cochran didn’t have the nerve to go, ‘Well did you see OJ play against New England?’”

Thanks for being awesome, internet. And thanks to Warming Glow for posting awesome shit every day.

70-92

Who had the Mets losing 90 games this season? Anyone? Sports Illustrated picked them to WIN THE WORLD SERIES, so I’m guessing they didn’t, and PECOTA had them winning 90 games. Yep, I’m pretty sure the Vegas line would have been set at 100-1 for such an occurrence before the season started. Yet somehow, someway, the Mets managed to crush all their fans again, only this season it wasn’t on the very last day.

Nope, this season — in contrast to the last two — was a long, slow painful burn, in which a feeling of dread hung over the team for almost the entire season. Perhaps my thoughts are clouded by my father’s incessant pessimistic comments, but I’m not sure I ever believed this team was going anywhere, even before being totally inundated with injuries. There were just too many question marks, and none of them turned out the way the Mets wanted them to. Not ONE.

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