Somewhat Manly Nerd

The Guardian

Scientists have created the world’s first synthetic life form in a landmark experiment that paves the way for designer organisms that are built rather than evolved.

The controversial feat, which has occupied 20 scientists for more than 10 years at an estimated cost of $40m, was described by one researcher as “a defining moment in biology”.

Craig Venter, the pioneering US geneticist behind the experiment, said the achievement heralds the dawn of a new era in which new life is made to benefit humanity, starting with bacteria that churn out biofuels, soak up carbon dioxide from the atmosphere and even manufacture vaccines.

Anyone who is really interested should watch the video at the link. And you SHOULD be interested. Man has created life. But then why am I surprisingly numb? Maybe I need it to be a trending Twitter topic for it to feel real. The Grey’s Anatomy finale is obviously much more important than this. Or #whywebrokeup. Jesus Christ, no one gives a shit about your boyfriend cheating on you with your younger sister. You’ll be able to have a new one synthetically made soon enough.

I can’t wait for all the different lifeforms that will be made to serve mankind. Sure, we’ll be able to scrub carbon from the atmosphere, and create new vaccines quicker, but what about making even better Wendy’s Crispy Chicken Nuggets from scratch? But I guess that’s food engineering, which has already been going on for a long while. How about a spider-killing bacteria that will only operate within 3 feet of your bed? Maybe a special coating of bacteria on a golf ball that makes it fly straight every time by intelligently halting sideward spin?

On a serious note, imagine how cool it’d be if there were a bacteria that could just be dumped into the Gulf of Mexico that would break down all the hydrocarbons automatically?

This is the new Nike commercial for the 2010 World Cup, which starts on June 11. Only commercials like this should be allowed before films at theaters. I only wish I could watch it in full 1080p without it chugging. I don’t know whether it’s my computer or Chrome or that I just need to restart. I’m just proud of myself for recognizing three players featured in the video.

In other soccer news, I think there’s a Champions League final on Saturday? Maybe I should watch that as a warm-up for the World Cup to see if I can actually stand watching an entire match. They’re called matches, right? I know I tried watching a couple of years ago and by halftime I had all but passed out in my chair. I’ll report back in two days.

Free feel to rip on baseball in the comments for retribution, soccer fans.

The invite doesn’t come until you read this post, though. Or at least until you pretend to have read it.

I must have wanted to make this thread for around two months now. Once I was invited to thebox.bz I quickly acquainted myself with the amazingness of Newswipe – basically the UK’s answer to The Daily Show. Only instead of episodes every weeknight throughout the year, Newswipe follows the usual British TV schedule of six episodes each year. This allows Newswipe to maintain its high quality throughout an entire run, except for the poetry segments (you’ll see what I mean).

I’ll go ahead and post a segment from the show — despite it already made the rounds on the internet multiple times — because it is that perfect.

Charlie Brooker is really, really awesome. I did a little wiki’ing and I found out that Newswipe is actually a spinoff of the more popular Screenwipe, in which Brooker rips on (I assume) British television. I’m sure it’s awesome, but I’ve never had the urge to watch, due to my non-existent knowledge of the vast majority of television across the pond. Except for one show, of course. And that would be Peep Show. But I highly doubt he makes fun of that show, since it’s fucking awesome.

Since I was on a Charlie Brooker -wipe binge, I noticed something called Gameswipe on thebox.bz as well. That was an extremely entertaining 50-minute rundown of gaming history. So basically, anything Charlie Brooker is involved in proves to be awesome. Which means I need to get around to checking out You Have Been Watching. The following is the only clip I’ve seen from it, and I’m still recovering from the knowledge that BIBLEMAN is real.

I also need to check out That Mitchell and Webb Look, since it’s the same guys (David Mitchell and Robert Webb) who star in Peep Show.

And then there’s The Thick of It, the television series which In The Loop — probably the funniest movie of last year — was based on. Oh oh, and Misfits, which I actually have watched. It’s been described as a cross between the British teen drama Skins (which I’ve never seen) and Heroes. That probably doesn’t sound all that good to a discerning American TV viewer, but it’s pretty fun. It’s like if Heroes starred all teenagers with superpowers, but actually featured competent writing. And there’s swearing. And tits. I hope it sounds more enticing now.

So now you have a list of shit you should download if you ask for an invite (which you obviously should do):

Peep Show
Newswipe
Gameswipe
You Have Been Watching
That Mitchell and Webb Look
Misfits
The Thick of It

Just make sure to keep your ratio above 1.00, alright?

Edit: You should probably check out Spaced, too. If only because it’s by the same guys behind Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz. I really need to start taking my own advice, though.

The National – Sorrow

*sigh*

So The National’s latest album, High Violet, is actually out, so I hope posting this mp3 is cool now. And just because maybe some people already listened to this song the first time I posted it, I’m going to add this performance of “Afraid of Everyone” on Letterman.

Edit: Just listen to “Bloodbuzz Ohio”, which is embedded in the comment below.

This weekend’s links are presented by dogs body-sledding down snow-filled hills. God, I love dogs.

Facebook’s Gone Rogue; It’s Time For An Open Alternative – I like this idea more than the “OMG EVERYONE QUIT FACEBOOK!!!” idea. Maybe it’s not even an idea, because I’m sure the market will come up with an alternative soon enough. Right? Capitalism don’t fail me now! Even if you’ve already failed most of us recently…

Hey LeBron, Welcome to New York – Will Leitch and Ira Boudway lay out the reasons why the only choice for the best basketball player on the planet is to come to New York.

Baseball Scouts Like Big Butts And They Cannot Lie – Maybe the Mets should hire Sir-Mix-A-Lot as a scout? And I wonder what Oliver Perez’s butt is on a scale of 1-10. I need Buck Showalter to help me out here.

Your Office Chair Is Killing You – Yeah, I’m gonna go play golf now instead of staying on my laptop while watching the Mets game…

David Ortiz Is Getting Paid $13 Million, By The Way – I laughed at this until I realized Oliver Perez is getting paid $12 million.

My NY Mets Journal Blog – An awesome dude who should be employed by a newspaper creates a drawing for each and every Mets game. They are really, really great.

I guess I posted the first one of these on a Thursday — why did I think I posted it last Friday? I need to decide on a day.

If I didn’t make it clear with the last post, I’m keeping track of all these tweets because I know they eventually disappear (into the Library of Congress archives), and I also like to expand on the 140-character comparisons.

Once again, hit the jump for the fun with numbers.

read more…

There’s not really much comment needed for this video. As someone said to me on Twitter, the elephant part that matches up with the avalanche in the real Inception trailer is perfect. And this was just an excuse to post something Inception-related.

This photoshop has been around for a long while, but I finally have a legitimate reason to post it.

I barely watched LeBron James’ possible final game with the Cleveland Cavaliers.  I was watching a close Mets game (which only ended in frustration), and then I started playing Starcraft II after it was obvious that the game was over. But now the begins the debate of where LeBron goes after turning the ball over nine times in an elimination game in the second round of the NBA Playoffs. Explore the website of betflix if you want to place bets on your favorite NBA teams.

The Celtics fans in the crowd obviously had an answer, judging by what they were chanting: New York Knicks. New York Knicks.

I hope they’re right.

Just right-click here and save. And then watch it. Or stream it to your HDTV if you’re cool like me.

No really, I have this on repeat using TVersity to stream with my 360. I’ve already gone through a box of tissues.

Bonds' reaction to hearing about 9/11

Sure, he broke baseball’s most hallowed record by pumping himself full of horse steroids that shrunk his balls to the size of peas, while embarrassing Major League pitchers repeatedly. But he ruined lives for people off the field, too. My internet buddy @qvt and I did a bit of research and we found out that Bonds did some of the most awful things you can imagine. Free feel to add your own from your personal encounters with him.

- Not only did he cheat on his wife by having a mistress, and bought said mistress a house to buy her silence, he made numerous sex tapes with her that he subsequently showed his children to teach them about sex.

- He voted for Proposition 8.

- He lied to a grand jury about taking steroids, and also tried to buy off U.S. Senators by taking them to Denny’s.

- He’s AWOL from the Army because he’s a terrorist sympathizer.

- When he sees a child’s basketball in the street, he intentionally deflates it.

- He uses the express lane at the supermarket even though he has 25 items. And they are all steroids, somehow.

- He leaves the toilet seat down even though he lives alone.

- If you lend him a book, he creases the spine while he’s reading it and then gives it back and acts like it’s normal.

- He refused a kid in the parking lot an autograph when no one else was around. And the kid was an orphan. In a wheelchair. A wheelchair with only one wheel because he was also poor.

- He pisses in the shower at the gym.

- He pushes all the buttons in the elevator while you’re in it, and then gets out and takes the stairs.

- He thinks Forrest Gump deserved to win that Oscar for Best Picture.

- He voted for the Liberal Democrats in the UK Election.

- One time he threw a perfectly good — and still wrapped — cheeseburger into the trash right in front of a homeless person because he was full already.

- He complains about having Lost spoiled by people on Twitter.

- He’s been poisoning Ken Griffey Jr. for the past decade.

- He goes to a soup kitchen not to volunteer, but to eat, because he really likes the chicken noodle soup on Thursdays at the Martin de Porres House of Hospitality.

- He drives the speed limit in the left lane of the highway.

- He celebrated each home run of his career by adopting a dog from a homeless shelter and then sacrificing it to his personal god named Oswaldo.

- He doesn’t kick over kids’ sand castles at the beach, he builds a bigger one and then doesn’t let them play with it.

- He’s the guy who scratched your Netflix DVD.