Somewhat Manly Nerd

http://www.majornelson.com/archive/2008/01/21/live-activity-for-week-of-1-14.aspx

Xbox 360 Top Live Titles (based on UU’s)
1 Call of Duty 4
2 Halo 3
3 Guitar Hero III
4 Gears of War
5 Rock Band
6 Madden NFL 08
7 Assassin’s Creed
8 Mass Effect
9 FIFA 08
10 Forza Motorsport 2

THE KING IS DEAD. LONG LIVE THE KING.

Infinity Ward took Bungie and its massive franchise head-on, and won. Yes, Halo 3 has outsold it, and will hold on to that lead forever — but Call of Duty 4 instantaneously blows away anyone that plays it. I’ve heard some people rip on the single-player campaign, but even these people admit that the online multiplayer is absolutely incredible. I meant to write up a blog post a while ago — and I started to — but never finished it. There’s no point now. Everyone knows the awesomeness of COD4. The perks system adds a whole new level of strategy to FPS multiplayer, and the leveling up system has to be the most addictive of any FPS as a result. And the graphics (at 60 fps no less!) are freaking great, with the phenomenal sound only completing the experience.

Conversely, Halo 3 is stuck in its 2001 mode. Well, it’s more like Halo 2 HD on steroids, because I actually loved the original Halo. On the other hand, there wasn’t any competition on consoles last generation. Now, between Rainbow Six Vegas, COD4, Gears of War, and Bioshock on the same console, Halo 3 seems downright archaic. The multiplayer is filled with options and features, but they don’t make up for the slow-as-shit, boring gameplay. I do enjoy Rocket Race, though. And the single-player = YAWN.

CALL OF DUTY 4

I was about to go to bed, but I feel I need to write something about the Giants-Packers game today, or I never will. What a gut-wrenching, intense game. I used to be both a Jets and Giants fan, but I’ve grown to hate the Giants over the past few years. Maybe it’s Fetus Manning, maybe it’s bitterness due to the Jets being horrible — I just know I was rooting for the Packers. I thought Brett Favre was the only man with the power to defeat the Anti-Christ Tom Brady. Turns out he doesn’t even have the power to defeat the lesser Manning. Now it’s up to the little brother who looks like he was dropped on his head as a kid.

I really can’t believe how well the Giants have played these playoffs. I wrote them off as first or second-round losers, easily. Eli has been playing superbly, which is something NO ONE could have predicted. Even his dad couldn’t watch the game because he figured the kid would fuck it up at some point. I think the Mannings can only have so much mojo as a family at one time…and this year it’s Eli’s turn. Brady vs. Manning again. Boston vs. New York. I would’ve preferred Good vs. Evil, but stuff doesn’t always work out perfectly. The fact that the Giants are doing this without Shockey is the most shocking (lolz) thing to me. But I’m not going to sit here and pretend to know football. I just know that the Giants are playing damn well and I think they have a good chance of playing a close game against the Patriots. Unfortunately, the Pats will almost undoubtedly find a way to win, but I just hope the Super Bowl is at least a close, exciting contest. It won’t match this NFC championship, but not many games do.

The emotional rollercoaster in the last 6-plus minutes and overtime was absolutely ludicrous. Tynes misses a go-ahead FG for the Giants at 6 minutes, then the Packers have a shitty series and end up punting and the Giants returner fumbles the ball, which leads to a ridiculous scramble that the Packers should’ve won, but didn’t. Then the Giants drive down a bit for a game-winning FG try with 6 seconds left and a botched snap leads to a shank from like 30-something yards.

Massive tears rolling down the tears of Giants fans. Then the Packers win the overtime coin toss. Brett Favre was being smiled upon. It was meant to be.

And then he threw an INT.

The Giants drove a bit again, setting up a 47-yarder. No way Tynes hits that, right? But he does. What the hell just happened? The Giants in the SUPER BOWL?!?? I still can’t believe it. Maybe the NFC really does suck.

On a side note, whenever I add an athlete’s name or sports team to the end of my IRC nick, they lose. I down to desperate measures here, so my IRC nick during the Super Bowl will be CajoleJuice_TOMBRADY.

I just got my face blown off. I watched the original trailer for Cloverfield, and I think one more later on. That was about the extent of my knowledge going into the film. I didn’t pay much attention to the critic reception, and didn’t read many impressions on GAF. I’m glad I went in this fresh…

…because that was one of the most intense, original, and surprising movie theater experiences I’ve ever had. I can’t imagine it being anywhere that awesome on repeat viewings, but that first viewing was a doozy. While No Country for Old Men had me on the edge of my seat for most of the movie due to its masterful silent suspense, Cloverfield had my blood pumping like no movie I’ve seen in a while. (Yes, I just put those two films in the same sentence, shut up they’re the last two I’ve seen in theaters) The handheld camera technique is only going to be seen in more and more films as a result. It might not be used as a plot device like in Cloverfield, but between it and Children of Men, I can see this manner of filming action becoming more and more prevalent.

I really don’t want to go into the movie that much, but I just want to say that city destruction has never been done this good. Granted, I haven’t seen too many monster films, but I can’t imagine older, lower-budget movies coming anywhere near this. I was impressed by the balls needed to destroy NYC in 9/11 fashion. (One scene that you might have seen in a trailer obviously is meant to parallel a 9/11 moment.) I really can’t say enough good things about the manner in which the monster, destruction, and madness were presented. I think the movie achieved what it set out to do perfectly.

I’ve heard complaints about the human element of the story, but I think that was pulled off more than well enough for this type of movie. I’m not expecting Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. There’s tragedy, romance, and humor in a good mix. At first, I thought the guy behind the camera was a pretty bad actor, but I came to love his quips. I’m no expert on acting, but every performance seemed believable. That was enough for me.

I really can’t recommend this movie enough. Go see it in the theater. It is a ride unlike any other I’ve ever seen. I’m starting to think that J.J. Abrams knows what he’s doing (even though he only produced this). I also believe Matt Reeves deserves the majority of the credit for directing 90 minutes of awesome.

WARNING: If the last two Bourne movies gave you motion sickness, then stay the fuck away. I’m sorry that you’re weaksauce (or Asian).

My posts are getting lazier and more infrequent. That’s my way of supporting the Writer’s Guild Strike.

On the other hand, Conan isn’t helping the cause for writers because he’s been freaking awesome the three shows he’s done without them. He just doesn’t care.

Enjoy.

Incredible.

 

You should probably reload the page to see that from the very beginning. It’s long. Very long. And very awesome.

Probably better than the trailer for The Dark Knight. Despite what the reactions of internet fanboys might have been, it wasn’t anything amazing. Heath Ledger seems to have pulled off the Joker well, but there’s nothing in it that made me giddy. Explosions, the Joker looking/acting/sounding insane, and Bruce Wayne asking, “What would you have me do?” again. Some people complain about how Nicholson as the Joker overshadowed Batman in the 1989 film, and it appears that the same thing is happening again. (But it’s probably just trying to show off the new villain — we already know how awesome Christian Bale is.)

To judge for yourself — if you somehow haven’t watched it already — here’s the page.

On the other hand, the prologue (which is the first 6 minutes of the film) is totally awesome. Unless you want to go into the movie as fresh as possible, you need to watch it.

Shitty quality IMAX bootleg that still manages to be amazing.

Heat: Joker Edition. Apparently it looks absolutely incredible in IMAX, due to Christopher Nolan utilizing IMAX cameras in filming that scene (in addition to a few others in the movie). I really hope I don’t have to trek into the city to watch The Dark Knight in IMAX, because I think it’s pretty much necessary after knowing that.

I really cannot wait. After finally getting around to watching Memento, I now have even more faith in Christopher Nolan. And that movie was based on a short story by his brother Jonathan, who helped to write the screenplay for The Dark Knight. All signs point to awesome.

So the Mitchell Report is coming out in a little over 12 hours. Every baseball fan is looking forward and/or dreading the names released. Obviously, I’m excited if it’s gotten me to update this blog for the first time in almost a month. From the 5 minutes I watched today, the PTI guys seem to think that a lot of people don’t care. From the baseball fans I know, they couldn’t be further from the truth. I keep hearing that there are going to be big names on it, but I can’t help but think this report can only disappoint tomorrow. They shouldn’t be getting people’s hopes up.

In the spirit of Christmas, here’s my wishlist:

Roger Clemens – Lots of fans have suspected him from a while, including myself. Not to mention he’s a total asshole. This would also really fuck with the writers who vote for the Hall of Fame. It’ll be hilarious to see them squirm.

Albert Pujols – Well, this isn’t so much hoped as much as expected.

Alex Rodriguez - Needs no explanation. …trannies

David Ortiz – Just to see Red Sox Nation cry beautiful, beautiful tears.

Chipper Jones – Braves fans would be…well, kinda disappointed. They’re horrible fans.

Curt Schilling – Would help to perpetuate the loudmouth hypocrite factor.

Gary Sheffield – Expected much more than Pujols, and maybe he would finally shut up.

Derek Jeter – The “intangibles” jokes would write themselves.

Tom Brady – I don’t care if he doesn’t play baseball.

As for people I DON’T want to see on the list…

David Wright – Man-crush

Bernie Williams – The best ballplayer I’ve ever met.

Ken Griffey Jr. – So he can continue to serve as the foil to Barry Bonds.

Mariano Rivera - Has always seemed like a good guy and a completely tranquil human being…that throws possibly the greatest pitch baseball has ever seen.

Greg Maddux – Always liked him more than Clemens, even if he was on the Braves. Plus he pees on rookies, which is disgustingly hilarious.

Ichiro - I don’t want him to commit seppuku and have the entire nation of Japan fall into a deep depression.

Pedro Martinez – He might be an asshole, but at least he’s pretty damn funny. Plus, he was the most dominant pitcher in the past 40 years for a while there.

Rick Ankiel – Oh wait, too late.

Some dude is streaming himself playing Rock Band live. Holy shit. I decided to hold off until at least Christmas for this game..but holy crap. It just seems so fun. If there were a game+drum SKU, I would be there Day One.

mms://stream.vg/joshieTV

There ya go. Better than porn.

Apparently, these are dudes from Something Awful. I should just get an account there already.

There’s also another dude who seems to be playing even more often…

mms://stream.vg/waffle

Note: If these don’t work on click, try opening them up in Windows Media Player. If that doesn’t work. Download VLC (you should have it anyway), open it up, hit Ctrl+N, and then paste the URL into the bottom.

- On Sunday, Peyton Manning threw 6 INTs and Adam Vinatieri missed two FGs…one of which was a 29-yarder. Yet the Colts lost by only 2 points. The Chargers are really not good. At all.

- Neither are the Giants. Have they even beat an above .500 team all year?

- Names continue to trickle out of the Mitchell investigation. I can’t think of a joke to make here. Are steroids even funny anymore? Mike Golic admitted to using them on air and Mike Greenberg immediately changed topics. I guess that’s mildly amusing. Unlike most of the rest of the show.

- Kenny Mayne is so goddamned awesome. Why doesn’t he anchor Sportscenter more often? I watched for about 5 minutes on Sunday night and during the Colts-Chargers highlights, Manning was shown on the phone after his 12737th INT and Mayne just said in his trademark deadpan delivery, “Peyton setting up another commercial.” Oh yeah, now I remember why Mayne is usually relegated to doing irreverent reports – ESPN sucks. No wonder Dan Patrick left.

- As indifferent as I am towards hockey, seeing it fall out the public consciousness so quickly is a sad story. Seeing NASCAR take its place is just perplexing — and embarrassing for America.

 

- Those announcers for the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest weren’t far off with their hyperbolic commentary. Those 12 minutes are still some of the most exciting I’ve seen on television all year. It may not be a sport, but it’s competitive — and awesome. U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

- Speaking of competitive non-sports, DirecTV has a channel that seemingly airs gaming competitions half the time. Unlike hot dog devouring, teenage kids playing Halo 2 is NOT compelling television.

- Getting back on topic, the Jets had their best Sunday in over a month. You can’t lose when you don’t play.

- As much as I love David Wright, he didn’t deserve a Gold Glove. I guess going 30-30 makes your defense seem that much better.

- C.C. Sabathia won the AL Cy Young Award. Too bad we all know who the true ace of the league is. Hell, he wasn’t even the best pitcher on his team in the playoffs.

- I’m calling it now: In 20 years, chessboxing will be more popular than its traditional counterparts.

- If Charlie Weis were black, he would have been fired by now.

- Just a day ago, I was debating whether or not to invest myself in the Knicks this year. I guess Stephon Marbury answered that question.

- Omar Minaya is apparently going after Rockies catcher Yorvit Torrealba. This “Los Mets” thing is really going too far. It’s only a matter of time before David Wright and John Maine are traded for Johan Santana.

- And A-Rod is crawling back to the Yankees, apparently. Looks like Scott Boras overplayed his hand. No one is stupid enough to pay A-Rod $300 million if they know the Yankees aren’t in the bidding.

I haven’t updated this blog in a while. And even the Guitar Hero III post was done extremely quickly in a fit of anger. Since then, I’ve exchanged my GH3 360 bundle for a new one, and so far it has worked flawlessly. I still shouldn’t have had to deal with that nuisance, though.

Now, I’m going to go back on my word and verdict by saying that I’ve decided against buying Rock Band for the foreseeable future after playing it at Best Buy. The guitar parts on expert weren’t challenging at all for a Guitar Hero veteran like myself, and the drums were a joke. This was because there was no bass pedal included in the kiosk. I know that with the bass pedal it’s going to be 5x harder, but I couldn’t help feeling bored by the game. As a result, my hype meter has fallen dramatically. With GH3, I have my rhythm game fix for a few months. The online aspect of GH3 just adds so much replayability to the game, even if the majority of Live players are absolutely insane and pick “Through the Fire and the Flames” way too much. I might just split the cost for Rock Band with Justin if he’s up for it around Christmas time. Either that, or just buy the drum-only SKU when it’s released early next year. There’s not enough room in my humble abode for so many faux instruments.

I’ve been helplessly addicted to a couple of XBLA games. I got a quadrillion points in Every Extend Extra Extreme unlimited mode and haven’t played much since then. Timed mode and online are the only modes worth playing in that game. Even then, there’s not really much to it. Setting off the explosion before your shield runs out and on beat is the entire game. “Revenge” mode is even more broken. It takes a special development team to come out with two worthless games in one. I just became entranced the first time I played it, which led to the 1,000,000,000,000,000 points.

The other XBLA game that I’ve been playing incessantly is Puzzle Quest. It’s a puzzle-RPG hybrid that is incredibly addictive. It has the basic mechanics of Bejeweled – you have a rectangular playing field, and you match up gems in rows of 3 or more – only now you have spells and leveling up to deal with. The only catch is that after playing the game for a while (probably 20-25 hours), I still don’t think I’m close to completing it. While it’s a fun game, such a simple system can’t sustain such a long quest. But I’m going to end up finishing it and maxing out my character’s level at 50 just for the achievements. Damn it.

I also just finished playing some Halo 3. I did fairly well, too. Too bad that once I buy Call of Duty 4 in three days nothing else matters. Circuit City is offering a free copy of Call of Duty 3 with the purchase of COD4. I can’t wait to sell that piece of shit. In addition, Circuit City is also selling Virtua Fighter 5 for only $39.99. I really was gonna ask for that for Christmas, but I can’t pass that up. Burger King is also offering a coupon for a $10 Gift Card with a purchase of a game $39.99, so I’m going to take advantage of that too. Here’s the coupon. You have install some bullshit coupon printer, but whatever. For the record, these deals are seemingly only for the 360 versions of each game. Sorry PS3 owners.

Man, I love my 360. Between all these games, I’m gonna be set for a while. I might just sell my copy of Rainbow Six: Vegas. Poor guy never even got a chance to shine.