REAL TALK – 5/9/08

2008 May 9
by CajoleJuice

- I have to say it again. GTA IV plays like dog shit. Everything is so goddamn slow and sluggish. Add that to the fuzziness, and it feels like the game is taking place in a tub of some strange form of vaseline.

- I never realized I was spelling “vaseline” wrong until now when Firefox just corrected me. I blame the Stone Temple Pilots song “Vasoline” — which I have listened to countless times. DAMN YOU SCOTT WEILAND

- Johan Santana has not been worth the money so far. John Maine just became the first Mets starter to record an out in the 8th inning. But at least we didn’t sign Barry Zito.

- I can’t think of a game where you depend on your team more than Team Fortress 2. It makes winning a hard-fought game that much more satisfying.

- Isaac Asimov pretty much owns.

- The new Wendy’s Spicy Chicken Wrap — it is so choice. If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up.

- Why don’t more outfielders have arms like Rick Ankiel?

- Do not Google Image Search “Heath Deadger”

- I want to see a Geico commercial where the cavemen are brutally mauled by saber-tooth tigers.

- I find it hard to believe any sane person is still hyped for Spore. When it was first announced 1000 years ago, I had to be as excited as anyone, and now I wouldn’t care if the game never materialized.

- Starcraft II, on the other hand…

- The Downward Spiral is the best angst-filled album ever. And to think kids these days listen to Linkin Park for their anger-releasing needs.

- Regret of the semester: Cute girl with a great body, who loves Hot Fuzz, and is enrolled in a sci-fi class. Glad I barely talked to her before I NEVER SEE HER AGAIN.

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