REAL TALK – 9/24/07

2007 September 24
by CajoleJuice

Inspired by one of the two forums I frequent — Evilbore — I bring to you REAL TALK. It actually comes from black hip-hop culture, but what doesn’t? (Besides internet memes, which always start at 4chan or Something Awful)

- Halo 3 is the most advertised and hyped piece of gaming entertainment that I can remember. Super Mario Bros. 3 being featured in some crappy movie does not compare to GAME FUEL, 7-11 selling pre-orders, a countdown to launch on a television network, a cat-helmet edition selling for $130, and an apparently awesome multiplayer beta.

- The Empire Strikes Back is the best Star Wars film. There is no room for debate here.

- The opening beach sequence of Saving Private Ryan is still the most incredible, most graphic, most terrifying 15 minutes of fictional war ever put to film. Watching it on TNT HD a couple of nights ago confirmed this. It also confirmed that 5.1 surround sound is required.

- Bioshock has a better, more sophisticated plot twist than any M. Night Shyamalan movie.

- The complete bombing of Shoot ‘Em Up make me weep for the young men of this country. Pathetic.

- The ridiculous sales of the Wii make me weep for the future of the civilized world.

- I am embarrassed for arguing on behalf of 24 against The Shield up to Season 6 (no sane person could have argued for 24 last season). I should have never stopped watching The Shield, as it blows 24 away in almost every respect. I still need to watch Season 6.

- The Simpsons are not as good as my childhood memories.

- If you don’t buy Ikaruga when it is released on Xbox Live Arcade for $10, you are a failure as a gamer.

- I have never watched any of the three Lord of the Rings: Extended Editions that I own. And I doubt I ever will. Most useless purchases ever.

- You know Harry Potter is not done with. Even if Harry Potter himself isn’t utilized, that universe will be milked until every possible dollar has been taken out of little kids’ and pathetic adults’ hands.

- I just read that the quantitative section of the GRE is easier than the equivalent section in the SAT. That is beyond pathetic.

- There are no gays in Iran. (brought to you by President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad)

- Even though the Mets don’t look like they’re going to completely choke away their division lead, it doesn’t matter, as their bullpen won’t allow them to advance past the NLDS.

- Anything that is too good to be true, is. Inductively, Joba Chamberlain is obviously on HGH.

Related posts:

  1. REAL TALK – 11/2/08
  2. REAL TALK – 3/30/09
  3. REAL TALK – 7/21/09

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