I haven’t posted any of these yet, but I’m sure you’ve taken a few. This one seems to be a bit more professional than others I’ve seen. Maybe because it’s made by a nonprofit, nonpartisan legitimate organization. It’s also pretty simple and quick. If I — a person who can’t be bothered to watch more than a minute of these presidential debates — made it through the quiz, anyone can.
Every PC gamer worth his salt has played Starcraft. Many Koreans have been playing it for years in televised tournaments, while some insane people call it overrated and are opposed to Starcraft II — calling it a rehash — and then turn around and masturbate to the thought of Diablo III. No matter where you fall within that spectrum, there is no denying that this is one of the most anticipated games of all-time.
And it still may be a year away.
And that will only be one-third of the single-player campaign.
Wait, WHAT?
No doubt the biggest news to come out of this year’s Blizzcon is that the only campaign that will ship with Starcraft II is the Terran campaign. No Zerg, no Protoss. You’re going to need to learn how to utilize the new units for those two races by playing comp stomps or getting owned by Koreans. Although, there are rumors of tutorial missions for each race.
So expect Starcraft II: Heart of the Swarm in 2010, and Starcraft II: Legacy of the Void in 2011 at the EARLIEST. You’ll have to make due with what better be an absolutely epic Terran campaign and full multiplayer in the meantime (or Diablo III might actually be out by then). The pessimistic consensus seems to be Holiday 2009 for the first part of the trilogy – Wings of Liberty. I’m sure Blizzard knows to make sure that Terran campaign is mind-blowingly awesome, so people are willing to shell out for two more single-player-only expansions.
I just can’t believe how long this damn game is taking. World of Warcraft has really taken over at Blizzard. It’s only natural to make sure your CASH COW OF HISTORICAL PROPORTIONS is first priority. Almost 11 million monthly subscribers. They should be giving Starcraft II away for free. I really wanted to bitch more about this trilogy bullshit, but it would only end in me eating crow when I bought each part on release date and loved every second.
In order to make the wait that much more unbearable, here are four YouTube videos of two matches played at Blizzcon. I hope you don’t get blue balls like I did from not being able to see the conclusion of the second game. I wanted to see massive destruction go down.
Fuck you, Brad Lidge. How did you recover from Pujols effectively ending your career? He hit that home run a half-mile. You were done. Worse than Eric Gagne. And now you’re the best goddamn closer in the NL, closing every game the Phillies win in the playoffs. WHAT THE FLYING FUCK. I hope the one game you fucked up — the All-Star Game — comes back to haunt your team if you make the World Series.
I still think the Dodgers will beat your team, but if they don’t, I want you to blow the final game of the season. Game 7 of the World Series at either the bandbox that is Fenway Park, or the shithole that is Tropicana Field. I will make sure to have my voodoo doll sitting on top of TV. Maybe I’ll have it pinned to a dartboard. And as I hit the bullseye, you will give up a home run to Pujols. But how will Pujols hit a home run if he’s not in the playoffs, you ask. There will be a rip in the space-time continuum and Pujols will replace whomever is up, doesn’t matter if it’s Dustin Pedroia or Evan Longoria. Nobody will notice. But I will. I will see the flicker of Pujols’ soul engulf the puny mortal’s frame. Mark my words: PUJOLS WILL DESTROY YOU ONCE AGAIN.
It’s times like these I wish I could embed stuff other than YouTube here on WordPress.com. I really need to self-host. But you don’t need to watch it on here. Just click the following link for greatness. It is 34 minutes of absolutely mesmerizing video. Only 10 seconds in, and you’ll know you’re in for a treat.
It’s like a never-ending GIF-worthy parade from this Angels team. Combined with the GIFs displayed here and here, you have a trilogy of hilarity. F-Kraud being exposed on national television was icing on the cake. Man, the Red Sox just own the Angels in the postseason.
So far, every Division Series is looking like a sweep, what with the Rays winning yesterday. Pathetic. I think both LCSs will go at least 6 games, though.
Hey, have you noticed how I use “your” in these titles? That’s a trick to make you feel more connected! I’m so clever. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I can’t believe it took me this long to finally check out Mogwai. So. Fucking. Awesome. I’m pretty sure this song would blow my face out the back of my head if I heard it live. “Mogwai Fear Satan” is also HIGHLY recommended.
I am laughing. The only cure for sports suffering is seeing other fans suffer, and none have suffered more than Cubs fans. They thought for sure this would be the year their pernennial losers would make the World Series, and possibly even win it. Right now, that hope is hanging by a thin thread — Rich Harden’s right shoulder. At least I never thought the Mets were going to win the World Series this year, at least not after watching them the whole season. Sure, yet another collapse has wreaked some havoc, but they were at best above-average all season. The Cubs dominated the National League from start to finish. And now they can’t field a groundball. Or stop Manny Ramirez from hitting home runs. It’s a shame they waited until they were down by 7 runs to start playing. This is why they are on the verge of getting swept by the Dodgers.
And it’s also a shame that C.C. Sabathia finally broke down today. I picked the Brewers with my heart, not my head. Damn Phillies.
Oh, and the Rays beat the White Sox — not surprising news there. I guess I should mention that Evan Longoria is an absolute beast.
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