Middle America Doesn’t Even Have NASCAR Anymore

2007 June 24
by CajoleJuice

Today, Juan Pablo Montoya became the first non-American to win a NASCAR race in over 30 years. And the other one was a Canadian, not a Columbian. The white South can’t be too happy right now. Beaners are invading NASCAR, the most popular redneck American sport (other than hate crimes against illegal immigrants). Hell, they probably think Juan Pablo Montoya is an illegal.

Granted, it was a road race, something Montoya has plenty of experience with due to his F1 pedigree, but it’s still NASCAR. If he starts winning on the left-turn-only tracks, alarms will be going off from Texas to the Carolinas. That border fence will be built so fast…

Ok, I can’t bring myself to write anymore about NASCAR, as it’s not even a sport. It’s hard for me to believe that it’s on par with MLB in popularity, considering I’ve never heard anyone mention NASCAR in anything but a negative tone. But I’m from New York, not Georgia.

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