Too Bad It’s Only April 7th

2007 April 8
by CajoleJuice

It doesn’t matter that A-Rod hit two homers today.

It doesn’t matter that one of them was a 2-out, 2-strike, 9th inning walk-off Grand Slam.

It doesn’t matter because it’s not October. It’s the complete opposite of October. It’s the first week of the fucking season. Maybe this will hold off the boos until the postseason, but that’s it. If A-Rod reverts to a ball of useless nerves once the ALDS hits, and the Yankees get knocked out again, you can be sure the yearly flood of calls on NY sports talk radio and the embarrassing amount of ESPN coverage will convince him it’s just not worth it. The guy gave up being the greatest shortstop in baseball history to play in NY and win a World Series. Somehow I don’t think it’s gone quite according to plan so far. Jeter and Torre obviously laugh at him in the manager’s office every chance they can. Never harder than when they decided to hit him 8th.

It still blows my mind every time I think about how he was insanely close to ending up with the Red Sox. Fucking world history would be completely different right now. The internet wouldn’t hate Bill Simmons so much. George Bush might have cared about black people. The war in Iraq would have been a success. I would have had sex by now.

Vegas should really open up a line on the next time A-Rod will be mercilessly booed at Yankee Stadium. I’d put the over/under at about 3 months. But why do I have the feeling he’ll break a bat and inadvertently impale some kid in the stands by the end of this month?

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  3. Too Bad Baseball Games Aren’t 6 Innings Long

  • marcys


  • johan

    ur stupid because A-ROD hit a grand slam and hes better this year than he was last year hes going 2 be way better than last year