Tom Brady Is The Anti-Christ

2007 January 15
tags: , , , , ,
by CajoleJuice

This fact was made obvious by tonight’s ridiculous AFC Divisional Playoff game between the Patriots and Chargers. The Chargers were given multiple chances to seal the win, but freak occurances kept giving Brady and Co. opportunities to work their magic. There was an mind-blowingly stupid unnecessary roughness call brought on by Drayton Florence of the Chargers headbutting a Patriots player. There was another unnecessary roughness call that led to the Patriots getting great field position. Even when Brady threw the game away with his third INT of the game, Troy Brown managed to strip the ball for the Patriots to get it back. All these were definitely work of the Devil.

 

If that isn’t the face of pure metrosexual evil, I don’t know what is.

I knew the Chargers were fucked when Brady executed another one of his perfect 2-minute drives at the end of the first half. I have no clue where the hell that came from. I guess he hadn’t activated his true powers yet. The Chargers utterly dominated pretty much the entire first half, yet they only had a 14-10 to show for it. The second half saw the Chargers continue to play conservatively, and they paid dearly for it. Belichick and Brady just found a way to win, as they always do in the playoffs. I knew it. ESPN analysts owned.

Unfortunately, with their win, the Patriots have set up a week of agonizingly non-stop, overly dramatic coverage of the Colts-Pats matchup on ESPN. It really is the Red Sox-Yanks of the NFL. Maybe this is the year where the Colts finally break through. Why? Because they have the only man that combat the evil power of Tom Brady: Adam Vinatieri.

Related posts:

  1. Tom Brady Is Still The Anti-Christ
  2. Tom Brady’s Deal With The Devil Has Obviously Expired
  3. Tom Brady HAHAHAHA

from → Rants, Sports

Newer Comments →
  • chris

    did it ever occur to you that it was the work of hours of preperation and hard work? oh no, lets just assume its the devil

  • Lam

    Please anyone can see in those eyes he is evil and must be distroyed

  • http://thesomewhatmanlynerd.wordpress.com/ CajoleJuice

    hahah

  • Steve-O

    I just think he’s hot

  • THIS IS STUPID

    wow who ever made this has no life… and i can bet alot of money that person doesnt have a girlfrind/boyfriend

  • Pats Fan

    When did ANYONE call Joe Montana that anti-christ when he played great as well as his team? Oh wait, NEVER!!! What about when Brett Favre broke the TD pass record? Who claimed that to be the work of the devil instead of hard-wirk, talent, and skill? Again, NO ONE!!! The stupididty of this entire article pisses me off.

  • Pats Fan

    By the way, WTF IS METROSEXUAL EVIL? THAT IS WITHOUT A REASONABLE DOUBT THE DUMBEST SHIT I HAVE EVER HEARD!!

  • Adam

    To “THIS IS STUPID” Homo Says What????

  • http://thesomewhatmanlynerd.wordpress.com/ CajoleJuice

    This is awesome.

  • Jennifer

    You are a hater just because the Chargers suck and cant win the game dont mean that Tom Brady is the Anti-christ. You must already have some problem with him, and I dont care what yo malfunction is but you taking that too seriously.

  • jennifer

    And I agree with Pats Fan when he says WTF is metrosexual evil, dude whoever you are, you are such a hater

  • http://thesomewhatmanlynerd.wordpress.com/ CajoleJuice

    Yes, I’m clearly sippin’ on the Haterade.

  • http://thesomewhatmanlynerd.wordpress.com/ CajoleJuice

    A side note:

    I recently watched Season 1 of “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” again, and in the beginning of one of the episodes, Mac talks about the possibility of going up to New England and breaking Tom Brady’s arm.

    God, I love that show.

  • Tristan

    Montana didn’t play for a cheating, ignorant, arrogant, can’t dress himself slob . . . . . . . I’m tired of this shit, the pats are turning into the yankees, they reign was over 3 years ago and sure is over this year, when pittsburgh meets them, and indy gets another shot at another close game

  • http://www.myspace.com/rodneyverbrugge Rodney

    Yes! Tom Brady is, not only the most over-rated QB in NFL history, THE ANTI-CHRIST! I have been watching football for 30 years and I’ve never hated any player nearly as much as I hate Tom Brady. And believe it or not, we attended the same high school!

  • David

  • Pingback: Tom Brady, I’m sorry. « The Winter Campers Quarterly

  • go niners

    haha tom brady is such a tool! ya he is an awesome qb, but he is such a queer

  • justin

    “WTF IS METROSEXUAL EVIL?”

    Yeah..what the fu…hold on…let me find… how you say… the caps lock…wait a sec…hold on…oh…there…WTF IS THAT? COMBINING TWO ADJECTIVES BACK TO BACK? THATS JUST DUMB DIDNT YOU EVER GO TO ENGLISH CLASS MY TEACHER TELLS ME ADJECTIVES ARE SUPPOSED TO BE USED LIKE THE RED CAR THE BIG DOG THE STUPID PERSON, THE EVIL METROSEXUAL…oh look its a noun too

    but two adjectives in a row is stupid, English frightens and confuses me

  • justin

    oh yeah and I have a summons here from the ICIBPERA (International Church Internet Blog Posting Ethics Review Authority) Since you’re obviously 100% serious when you call Tom Brady “the Anti-Christ” and don’t mean that for dramatic/humorous hyperbole, you really made them angry. They’re still sticking with Stalin, or Hitler… Satan is in consideration to, but then you go off (in all your seriousness) causing this serious global movement of Tom Brady Anti-Christ hysteria.

    How dare you. You, Sir, run a blog…I expected better from you.

  • http://thesomewhatmanlynerd.wordpress.com/ CajoleJuice

    Procrastinating while attempting to write a million pages for school, Justin?

  • Melinda

    there’s a reason that patriots jersey is not even worth ten dollars.
    tom brady is sucky ass quarterback who is starting his downward spiral the only reason he could be winning anymore games would have to be his teammates or the devil he certainly can’t even wipe his own ass by himself.
    to all you fucking patriot fans, can you honestly tell me you would be fighting this simple BLOG of EXPRESSION if they weren’t undefeated? would you even be fans?

    CAN YOU SAY BANDWAGON?????????

    and ps if you honestly don’t know what metrosexual is it’s a straight guy with taste with a big ego. and if you didn’t understand the evil part well then maybe you should lay off the pot.

  • http://wordpress ty and eli

    tom brady does not like the devil.He just good and your mad.DONT hate becuase he is the best QB.

  • http://wordpress ty and eli

    dont hate becuase TOM BRADY is the best QB and he beat your favorite team.

  • http://cunt.com t.george

    fuck you bandwagon faggots out there, i’ve been a pats fan for as long as i can remember and this year everywhere i go i see ppl wearing pats jerseys and other pats shit, this pisses me off cus theyr not realy true fans theyre just trying to be cool by pretending to b fans of the dominating team..fucking faggots,and also, tom brady is starting for afc in probowl..prety sure tht says something about his skill dumbasses, he’s already beaten so many personal records and the team is already 15-0 so prety sure theyr going 16-0 and reaming the superbowl…ps. chargers are slopp

  • Jesus Christ wa Jewish

    98% MVP votes ^_^

  • someDude

    fruit

  • http://yahoo.com Morgan is gay

    I just think he’s beautiful

  • http://hothoe.com Kyler

    Unless evil metrosexual anti-christ recently became a synonym for “QB of the only football team ever to go 18-0″ then i’m thinkin your stupid jumble of adjectives is shit.

  • Hollis

    I agree with what Kyler said. Really the only reason you all feel the need to bitch about Brady is cause you wish he was your team’s quarterback

  • Yo Momma

    Y’know I say good for T-Brady if he wants to look so fineee. More’o you stupid men should give a damn whatchya look like. And plus the gay mo-fo who wrote this queer article probably would kill ta look half as good as this boy does. So get yaselves a fuckin hobby an chill.

  • http://thesomewhatmanlynerd.wordpress.com/ CajoleJuice

    I love these comments. Bravo, people.

  • Jake

    wtf kinda name is cajole juice anyways.

  • Pingback: Tom Brady Is Still The Anti-Christ « The Somewhat Manly Nerd

  • Patriots 18-0

    Bet all you idiots who wrote that Brady was “downward spiraling” and a “sucky quarterback” at the beginning of the season feel pretty stupid now. 18-0 doesn’t come from being sucky. whoever created this blog is just jealous because phillip rivers is an egotistical jerk off. maybe the chargers would have won if rivers hadn’t ran his mouth with all the fans, including his own. And finally, yes, this year brady did have a fantastic team behind him to help him out when he wasn’t on top of his game. But does anyone remember when he won his first two superbowls with no big name players? Get over yourselves, brady is the best quarterback we’ve ever seen. Oh yeah…and he’s smokin’ hot. GO PATRIOTS!!!!!

  • http://dklfasdj.com kelcy

    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

  • AWWSHIT

    18-1 Look that really sucks

  • 18-1 is still better

    newsflash, 18-1 is still better then your favorite team’s record.
    and the Brady and the Pats will still be remembered as probably the greatest football team ever.

  • http://thesomewhatmanlynerd.wordpress.com/ CajoleJuice

    Just like the 2001 Mariners are remembered as the greatest baseball team ever.

    Oh wait…

  • 18-1 is still better

    First of all, When was the last time anyone cared about the Mariners?
    And besides, its nothing like that cause we are talking about a team that had been in 4 and won 3 Superbowls in like 7 seven years, the Patriots are the “team of the decade” and if you ask anyone they’ll be able to tell you who the teams of the previous decades were… and who their QB was, imagine that! (out of curiousity, what lame team are you a fan of?)

  • http://thesomewhatmanlynerd.wordpress.com/ CajoleJuice

    Hey, you said possibly greatest team ever, not team of the decade. I was just attacking on those claims. My comment was just a bit of a play on the best record talk. In all seriousness, their place in history now truly depends on the future. Right now, they’re behind the Niners of the 80s and the Steelers of the 70s. Those teams didn’t lose in the Super Bowl, and certainly not under such totally awesome circumstances.

    What if I said I were a fan of the Giants?

  • TomBradylovescockinhismouth

    Pats barely won their superbowls and between this GIANT loss and the spygate, TB, BB and the gang drop several pegs down the ladder.

  • justin

    It is pretty evident that God does not like Tom Brady. He sold his soul for good looks, a hot girlfriend, and the ability to throw a football.

    God came down to smite his ankle, part his offensive line, and guide Eli Manning, Tyree, Plexico, and of course, his left hand Justin Tuck.

    I was half expecting Tuck to have a flaming sword in his hand by the end of the game.

  • PatsFan4Life

    I can’t believe the Spygate bullshit came up again. It shouldn’t be against league rules to look at your opponent’s signals!! We’ve been doing it for years and look where it got us? 3 Super Bowls and a perfect season…eat that up. If that douche bag in Hawaii didn’t demand that Gooddell go to the Senate majority before the Super Bowl, we would have easily stomped the Giants b/c we would have taped all their signals! Nothing wrong with cheating to win if you ask me

  • http://thesomewhatmanlynerd.wordpress.com/ CajoleJuice

    Sounds about right for a Masshole.

  • Pat’s Girl

    WOW, How dare you insult such an awesome QB, actually he’s problly the best. I mean did you ever think to consider all the time he spends studying x’s and o’s? Big deal the Pat’s tape their opponents games, can you name a high school team that doesn’t? I’m sorry but this is a pathetic article, just because he’s a good player doesn’t make him the Anti-Christ. You people should really consider the NFL superstar you chose for a hero, seriously maybe you should look into that!

  • http://thesomewhatmanlynerd.wordpress.com/ CajoleJuice

    Look into a grammar handbook.

  • This is gay

    ok clearly the only reason for this queer juice person to continue bashing the Pats is because he needs to convince himself that the Pats arent good, (WHICH THEY OBVIOUSLY ARE) and he needs other people to agree because right now its pretty hard to say the Pats suck, or Brady, for that matter.

    by the way, this is a good for nothing blog who the hell cares about grammar?

  • http://thesomewhatmanlynerd.wordpress.com/ CajoleJuice

    haha keep bashing? This post is over a year old. And then I posted a bunch both before and after the Super Bowl. I continue to be amazed at the amount of comments this post keeps getting. I should probably bash more, since it seems to elicit so many comments.

    And the grammar comment refers to the fact that she couldn’t correctly refer to her own team’s name. The Giants apparently beat the “Pat’s”

  • This is gay

    maybe they should throw that person in jail then for illegal use of an apostrophe. sound good?

Newer Comments →