Somewhat Manly Nerd

The half-billion dollar shopping spree paid off. The Yankees have opened their new monstrous stadium with a World Series Championship. I still can’t believe SI picked the Mets instead. How could have anyone picked a team other than one with All-Star caliber players at almost every single position, a decent pitching staff, and the best closer anyone will ever see? Oh well, hindsight is 20/20 and all that bullshit.

If Game 6 wasn’t over when Hideki Matsui hit the double that made it 7-1 in the 5th, the Phillies were buried when Chase Utley struck out with two on to end the 7th. So Utley has to share the World Series HR record with Reggie Jackson, unfortunately. Ryan Howard did manage to put himself on top of the World Series record book, though, with his 13th strikeout of the series. Without him, the Phillies had almost no chance to pull out the series; only Utley going apeshit kept the Phillies going this long. I told you Utley was awesome.

I was hoping for a Game 7, but five days’ rest wasn’t enough for Pedro, apparently. Meanwhile, Andy Pettitte gave the Yankees all they could have hoped for on three days’ rest. Mike Francesa proven wrong. And a 41-pitch non-save for Mariano Rivera? No problem.

I wonder what Mike Mussina is doing right now.

I’ve meant to write a post on the pilot of The League since last Thursday, but my half-viewing of the unremarkable pilot of V remake last night only pushed me over the edge to make a general TV post.

Let me start off with V, because I probably feel most strongly about it, even though I was only barely paying attention. Perhaps not focusing on the show only served to exacerbate the fact that a million things happened within that one hour. It was definitely a show that could have benefited from one of those usual two-hour pilots that are seemingly commonplace for “high-concept” shows. The episode wastes no time with the alien ships swooping in over our most populous cities Independence Day-style, but instead of blowing up each city, each spaceship transforms into an HDTV and beams down a hot chick saying that her people come in peace. I would have been convinced.

What follows seems to be a terribly-rushed series of events that includes the reveal that the aliens actually have lizard skin under their human facades, some Michael J. Fox wannabe journalist being forced into a misleading, foreboding interview, the haphazard creation of a resistance that subsequently gets totally struck down, and some terrible teen actor being put under the spell of a moderately attractive blonde chick (maybe I just don’t like blondes). And oh yeah, the husband of the main character turns out to be an alien, and then gets killed by said main character. But then the preview for the rest of the season spoils the fact that he’s not really dead. Nice job, ABC; I’ll be sure not to waste anymore time on this show. It has two actors from Firefly – it’s sure to be canceled within a season, anyway.

The League, on the other hand, has a bright future, even if its premise seems a bit limited. I’ve heard complaints about too much fantasy football, and also too little fantasy football. I think this is proof that they hit just the right amount of discussion about draft order, Adrian Peterson, and accidentally picking retired players. Both the creators of the show and FX realize the audience they’re shooting for — 18 – 35-year-old males — and the vast majority of that group will have some rudimentary grasp of football, if not fantasy football in particular, and that’s all that’s necessary for enjoyment of the referential jokes.

Of course, there are plenty of jokes and situations that aren’t tinged with football talk. There’s a girlfriend/wife? (I missed this unimportant plot detail) that sticks a finger in her lover’s butt, leading to…tension; a filthy song performed at the birthday party of a 5-year-old; and a pube-filled joint framed on a wall. Sounds perfect for a show that airs immediately after It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

The last show I’d like to mention is Community, the newest addition to the NBC Thursday night lineup — pretty much the only thing the network has going for it at the moment. It’s definitely a worthy addition, even if it’s not at the level of The Office or 30 Rock when those two shows first kicked off. It helps that the quality seems to be trending up, with the recent Halloween episode being by far the best the show has had to offer. I think much of one’s enjoyment would have to depend on how much they like Joel McHale’s massively smug and cocky character — if you don’t appreciate it, then you probably won’t like the show. Also of note: Chevy Chase seems to be trying to pull an Alec Baldwin (in 30 Rock), only he’s not really that entertaining. God, Alec Baldwin is awesome.

It’s pretty amazing that I haven’t mentioned AVATAR on here yet. I could have sworn I posted thoughts at some point, whether on the hype, the leaked trailers, or James Cameron being a bit too ambitious. Needless to say, I’m not exactly hyped. I’m not sure I ever was, but I trusted in James Cameron enough to not join the hater camp. Once I saw the trailers, though, I couldn’t help but bash the living hell out of the embarrassing footage. Perhaps I can’t get by the models of the blue aliens. Only James Cameron would get a $300 million budget to make this movie.

I’ll let you judge for yourself, but keep in mind this is definitely better than the teaser trailer and the first official trailer. I’m also curious to see just how well-done the 3-D effects are, something you obviously can’t tell from watching an internet trailer without those annoying glasses.

How did I ever decide to root for the Phillies?

Actually, in practice I’ve been seemingly going back and forth by player this entire World Series.

Cliff Lee? Wow, he’s a pimp, I want him to throw a shutout.

Jimmy Rollins? Shut the fuck up and strike out, please.

A-Rod? You fucking suck. Six Ks? Is Kate Hudson on the rag?

Chase Utley? Oh my God, you truly are my forbidden crush.

Mariano Rivera? No way I want to see the Phillies beat you.

Shane Victorino? Die in a Hawaiian volcanic eruption.

Perhaps I need to take this advice, and just look at the bright side of each possible outcome. If the Yankees lose, A-Rod still doesn’t have a ring, Yankee fans turn on every possible player, and the Yankees lose any possible claim at team of the decade. If the Phillies lose, they won’t be the first NL team to repeat in over 30 years, Philly doesn’t become the new Boston, and Jimmy Rollins shuts up.

As for comments on the actual game tonight, it was another pitchers’ duel that this time fell on the Yankees’ side. Pedro’s line was dangerously close to my prediction (three runs instead of four), and A.J. Burnett pitched a great, if not brilliant, game. And then of course Mariano Rivera threw 39 pitches in another ho-hum two-inning postseason save. That was the 14th two-inning save of his postseason career, and the 33rd time he pitched at least 2 innings in any situation. Piece of cake.

Succeeding Rivera as Yankee closer will be the worst job in the world.

THIS GUY. THIS GUY’S JUST…PISSING…HE’S PISSING ALL OVER US!

WARNING: Minor Shield spoilers that you won’t remember if you’ve never seen the show anyway.

I randomly came across this fantastic scene on YouTube today and I needed to find an excuse to post it. There has to be a YTMND of Kavanaugh saying that line over and over. I can’t wait to make a Best of Decade post (or posts) so I can put The Shield right near the top. I should create a raffle for people to win my used fullscreen DVD sets of Seasons 2-5. No matter what, I win more room in my…room.

Cliff Lee looked like didn’t even break a sweat tonight. He made a behind-the-back play later in the game, and also nonchalantly tagged Posada on the ass on another play. He struck out 10 while walking none (the first man to do that since 1903), and only lost his shutout due to a Jimmy Rollins throwing error. I do question the wisdom of keeping him out there for 122 pitches when he has to come back on three days’ rest (possibly twice), but that’s what Charlie Manuel does. This is the manager who left Pedro Martinez in a game for 130 pitches in a regular-season game.

The only man who had Lee figured out was Derek Jeter, of course. A-Rod didn’t fair quite as well, striking out three times and laying the foundation for imminent bashing in the New York Post. The rest of the team didn’t do much better, with the lineup behind Jeter only accounting for three hits. Lee was simply dominant throughout, and the Yankees crowd was consequently subdued almost the entire night.

The supporting star behind Lee was Chase Utley, who supplied enough offense to beat the Yankees by himself. Two solo home runs — I told you he was awesome. If he wins the World Series MVP, I hope it’s sponsored by this:

The man would have fit nicely on the Yankee teams of the 1930s, I’m sure.

So now the story turns to Pedro Martinez pitching tomorrow, and my prediction is for a six-inning, four-run performance. You’re not in the NL anymore, old man! The big question is which A.J. Burnett will show up, especially since having to start Jose Molina isn’t exactly going to help the Yankees’ lineup top tonight’s pathetic performance. I hate to say must-win, but I’m going to say it. If the Yankees lose to Pedro tomorrow, they are in the proverbial shit.

(Thanks to Hootie on GAF for the GIF.)

I’d say not to trade barbs with a comedian, but Melissa Joan Hart seemed to be just playing around. Jimmy Kimmel, conversely, doesn’t play around. This is a devastating truth bomb distilled to its purest form.

On the eve of the 2009 World Series, I sit here — like every Mets fan — pondering and mulling over the reasons to root against the teams pitted against each other. There’s the Yankees, the Evil Empire, the team with 26 “World” Championships and millions of obnoxious fans; there’s the Phillies, the defending champions who have still been underdogs the entire season, and also owners of a fanbase of millions. These are fanbases linked by I-95 and separated by state lines (except maybe in Jersey), with not quite as much hatred between them as New York and Boston, but enough to provoke the slamming of broken beer bottles into random skulls.

When the inevitability of this matchup became clear, I had no doubt in my mind that I’d be rooting against the Phillies. My allegiance would be with New York City in the battle against the shithole that is Philadelphia. Philly might have Rocky and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, but fuck them, I thought. Their fanbase is probably the worst group of human beings collected this side of an African dictatorship. And they’re not too bright, either.

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- Joe Girardi is proving himself to be a terrible manager this postseason, what between his moronic bullpen usage and having TWO pinch-runners on the roster. Thankfully for him, he has Mariano Rivera to fall back on.

- It only took a week with the iPod Touch to NOT care about the iPhone again. The Touch is already fucking up when it comes to playing my music and videos, so I’ll just assume the problems could only get worse with a device that also needs to make phone calls. I’m just glad I didn’t pay for it. Fuck Apple.

- I’ll admit that for whatever reason, getting a new iPod made me attempt to get into podcasts. I’ve been going mostly with informational ones; what a goddamn nerd I am. I actually found a 15 minute podcast on blinking interesting.

- Mark Sanchez went from hyped draft pick to immediate savior to bum rookie in record time.

- I had the first urge to play a video game in two months just now, but I decided to watch classic Simpsons instead.

Owner: Take this object, but beware it carries a terrible curse!
Homer: [worried] Ooooh, that’s bad.
Owner: But it comes with a free Frogurt!
Homer: [relieved] That’s good.
Owner: The Frogurt is also cursed.
Homer: [worried] That’s bad.
Owner: But you get your choice of topping!
Homer: [relieved] That’s good.
Owner: The toppings contains Potassium Benzoate.
Homer: [stares]
Owner: That’s bad.

I think I made the right choice.

- Wait, the NHL has started? There’s still an NHL?

- Fantasy football (or any sport for that matter) leagues consisting of only 5 teams do not work. And I say this because I am winning my 5-team league — when I wasn’t even present for the draft.

- Did I mention I won my roto fantasy baseball league by 12 points? That’s going to be a pickup line from now on. 12 POINTS!

- Totally fuck awesome movies I saw for the first time in the past month: City of God and 28 Days Later. The former being one of the best gangster (that qualifier might not even be needed) movies ever, and the latter being one of the best zombie movies ever — both shot brilliantly stylized. Nice to see I’m catching up with this decade’s classics just before the decade is over.

- THE BOOK is required reading for any baseball fan with a semblance of nerdiness — and also baseball managers. *cough* Joe Girardi *cough*. (Actually, *cough* pretty much every single manager *cough*.) You’ll never look at the game the same way again.

- Kate Hudson’s magic vagina isn’t enough for A-Rod.

There’s no commentary needed for the following two videos.