Brock Lesnar Is Not Human

2010 July 4
by CajoleJuice

Power of the cocksword.

I just saw Lesnar take a beating that would have killed most normal people, and put most MMA fighters into a coma. Yet he came back the next round and choked out his opponent, Shane Carwin.

Remember when I said the best heavyweight in the world wasn’t in the UFC?

Lesnar is without a doubt the scariest motherfucker alive. I mean, he already kinda was, but there was still Fedor, who — even though he was a bit of a chubster — was an “undefeated” crazy Russian dude. But now he has lost, and Brock just beat a guy who had never let an opponent past the first round. Carwin tired himself out, shocked that Lesnar was still breathing after taking one million punches to the head.

It was a heavyweight main event that lived up to the hype. And it was a fantastic job by the ref not to stop the fight while Carwin was pounding on Lesnar while sitting on top of him, making him bleed all over the mat. Lesnar was defending and attempting to fight back the entire time — just not very well.

I still think the fight before (Akiyama – Leben) was more entertaining, but everyone knows going in that a heavyweight fight isn’t going to go more than a few rounds, nevermind all five of a title fight. For Lesnar to come back from the fucking precipice of death to winning the fight is just godly. I’ve never been a Lesnar fan, outside of marveling at what an absolute beast he is, but fuck, he’s won me over completely. I’d even root for him in a Fedor matchup, because U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

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