I Don’t Care About The NFL Draft
You might be saying, “Then why are you writing about it?” — because the NFL Draft, or at least the 1st round, was today and my Twitter feed was filled with Tim Tebow jokes. And because if anyone is searching “NFL Draft”, maybe they’ll click on my blog. So stop judging, asshole.
I’m sure I don’t care because I’m not that big a football fan. I already forgot who the Jets picked with whatever pick they even had, and I’m supposedly a Jets fan. How am I supposed to care about college football players when the baseball season isn’t even a month old? Why would I even watch the NFL Draft over the Stanley Cup Playoffs? One is fifteen minutes of waiting broken up with half-minute spurts of cheering; the other is high-speed, high-contact sport at its highest level. Maybe I shouldn’t say highest, considering the Winter Olympics were only a few months ago and those U.S. – Canada contests were fucking awesome.
Arguments about level of play aside, the NFL Draft would be very low on my list of things to watch. I understand following it to know who was drafted, but holy shit, listening to hours of commentary by blowhards about 22-year-olds who are good at football? I rather subject myself to hours of insane babbling from Lost fanatics. But that’s possibly because I built up an immunity at my former job. It’s nice not to have to watch Lost the day it airs anymore; it reveals just how little I care about the show at this point and how I’m going through the motions of watching until it mercifully ends in a month. Of course, due to my love-hate relationship, I’ll stupidly allow myself to get excited for the finale, only to be massively disappointed. Fortunately, I’ve also already built up an immunity to horrible finales due to Battlestar Galactica.
How did I get talking about ensemble science-fiction television shows? Oh yeah, they’re more interesting than the NFL Draft. The NFL Draft fits very nicely in the reality show mold, and I’ve never watched any of those either — even Jersey Shore. Or maybe it’s more like a primetime game show, in the sense that it takes forever for someone to answer a question or decide with suitcase to open, and that once they answer it, the host teases the next question before the show cuts to a commercial. Fuck, I hate that shit. I can’t believe I watched Are You Smarter Than A Fifth-Grader? that one time. But that was only a half-hour, not multiple hours like the NFL Draft. And not just multiple hours, but multiple DAYS. How could anyone stand watching that much idle television? Is it truly suspenseful waiting for the next pick to be made?
Perhaps people really do get into the drama, as I saw at least one person get pissed at the NFL Network for “spoiling” picks. One of the more bizarre tweets I have ever seen. And this guy is usually cool! The NFL Draft clearly makes sane people lose their minds. I guess I’d argue they lost their minds once they decided to watch, but everyone makes mistakes. I would like someone to explain to me the reason for getting pissed at that, though. Is it equivalent to saying Brett Favre is going to get picked two seconds before it happens? Is that what the NFL Draft is now, the same as a real athletic competition? Perhaps I should have asked this tweeter, but I was too busy watching Johan Santana pitch the Mets to victory. He’s still no Roy Halladay, though.
I just don’t see what watching the draft adds over, say, having a massive pop-up on your computer each time someone is drafted. Sure, watching Jets fans boo their pick is entertaining, but is it worth the time sink? Maybe I should ask myself the same question about watching this hopeless Mets season, but actual baseball > football transactions. Watching the NFL Draft is worse than watching C-SPAN.
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