Fuck My Life

2009 February 13
by CajoleJuice

No, this is not a Livejournal post. This is about the website F*** My Life. I’m automatically reminded of Grouphug.us (which looks much different than the last time I visited it years ago). Both are definitely 95% fake, but they’re still hilarious nonetheless. Grouphug was about confessions, though, which made many posts skew towards deviant behavior. FML is about just getting owned by life, which is perfect for the internet generation. Though I guess there’s plenty of perverseness on FML.

Better than me writing about the site anymore, I’ll just post some of my favorites:

Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML

Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don’t have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years sent me a text messages saying, “Don’t worry I’m gonna break up with her soon. Love you.” FML

Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11 to her garage where we start to have sex. When she comes to climax she slips and hits her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down, we were both still naked and she was unconscious. FML

Today, I looked at the facebook of the girl I really liked, and I saw she wrote on her friend’s wall “Last night was the biggest mistake of my life.” We hooked up last night. FML

Today, I’m in Spain, and told the kids with whom I will be working that I was excited to be working with them. Only the form of excitement I used apparently refers to sexual excitement. Basically, I told the kids I was sexually aroused to be working with them. FML

Ok, I think you get the point.

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