What It’d Be Like If I Still Had an LJ

If you don’t me personally, I cannot be responsible for you not caring about things in this entry.

Subject: Hot 28 year olds
Time: 2:30 am
Mood: tired
Music: King Crimson – Epitaph

Just to start this off on a comedy note.

Maybe that ties in with the fact that I am such a horrible driver. I will crash and barrel roll like that dog. I zone out all the time, maintain a speed 15-20 mph over the limit, and have gotten into almost as many fender-benders as Tara Johnson. Which is why I will never drive drunk. That would not be good. For anyone. I’d end up doing 110 down the wrong side of Nichols. Which reminds me of Bob telling me Friday night that Ryan once drove from Stony Brook to Sayville Sevs in 7 minutes. Total bullshit. They were drunk and/or stoned out of their minds. Time lost all meaning.

[DELETED DUE TO HYPOCRITICAL COMPLAINING]

Anyway, then Bob came and took things over. He basically commanded us to get the fuck out of there. I agreed to go with him to another bar. So we were on our way to the Wharf, but not before Jim Hailey ran at me from out of the cemetery while I had my dick out taking a piss. That was a bit disconcerting. He said he’d probably meet us there. He never did. The drive down the road to the wharf was awesome in itself, because Bob decided to blast the German techno song from Super Troopers. You love it.

Now it’s time for the title of this entry to be introduced. When we got to the Wharf, I recognized the bartender — but Bob was buddy-buddy with him. Steve the Bartender. He did remember me from Portly, though. I had watched him do some card tricks, and fails at others. At some point while drinking, a girl appeared next to me on the corner of the bar. I truly don’t remember when she appeared. I just know that she was hot. Of course, Bob and I started talking to her, but right off the bat she brought up her boyfriend. Hopes were shattered. She only continued to bring up her boyfriend in the myriad of discussions we had. I just remember she had awesome taste in music. And that she was a damn hot 28 year old. Once shots started getting tossed around, it was game over. Somehow it came to be 3 am. I remember getting a buttered roll after leaving. Every night needs a 7-11 buttered roll.

So baseball started tonight. Those games in Japan didn’t really count. Bud Selig is an idiot. Only games in America and its territories count. I believe the Red Sox and A’s actually had preseason games after those games in Japan, too. Hilarious. Not as hilarious as watching the Braves play defense like a bad high school JV team. And watching Brian McCann get thrown out at second on a 375-foot shot. Yet, the Nationals still needed extra innings to beat them. Well, the Braves losing is obviously a good start to the season. Listening to Joe Morgan and Jon Miller was not. And then George Bush joined them. It was the most surreal thing I’ve ever seen on television. Bush was sitting there, laying back in his chair, as if he didn’t have a care in the world, talking about baseball and whatever other bullshit they mentioned. I really don’t know, as I totally zoned them out at the point. Yet, after a half-inning, I was shocked that Bush was still there. The dude is the fucking supposed leader of the free world and he’s talking it up with two horrible baseball announcers for a couple of innings. Oh yeah, just remembered that he got booed pretty mercilessly when he threw the first pitch.

Also, an interview on 60 Minutes revealed that the player Bill James would most like to have on his team is David Wright. He is obviously gay for him. Understandable, as he is only human.

So everyone has seen this picture by now right?

Tropic Thunder to be the second-best movie of the year behind The Dark Knight. Robert Downey Jr. is awesome.

And here’s some funny wrestling gifs.

Oh, professional wrestling.

I don’t know what else to talk about. I know that “21st Century Schizoid Man” is pretty much the best song to play in Audiosurf. I’ve been just listening to In The Court of the Crimson King over and over lately. “Epitaph” is so amazing. And of course, the album closer makes me want to watch Children of Men.

That’s all I got. Opening DAY is tomorrow. The true start to the baseball season. The last home opener for Yankee Stadium. Johan Santana starting his first game for the Mets. God, I fucking love it.

Quotes of the Day:

Frank: WHERE’S MY MONEY!
repeat 10x over the course of the night

Anth (on my Facebook): Asia would’ve smoked that guy!

Some chick: Hope to see you around.
Some dude on GAF: I doubt that. The city is too big.

frankcalisee: i could do without these announcers
CajoleJuice: the world could
CajoleJuice: i’ve been watching dexter
CajoleJuice: i’d love to see an episode
CajoleJuice: where he kills both of them

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