Insomnia
Tumble through the internet for an hour or two, writing blog entries, watching videos, chatting incessantly with people thousands of miles away. Realize it’s way too fucking late. Close the laptop, hit the pillow, and wish for instant unconsciousness. Still awake after a minute. Two minutes. Thoughts fill the brain. Hey, Veronica never replied to my other email. Should’ve asked her a question. Blah. Mention her in another post and see if she comments again. Try to get comfortable. Lie still for a while. Damn, itch! Kick the covers around. Lie on my back and stare at the ceiling. More thoughts. Past failures, future decisions. Ugh. A pit in the stomach. Try to get comfortable again up against the pile of pillows. Contemplate various dreams, but even the most pleasant don’t induce sleep, just a semi-lucid daydream. Why can’t I fall asleep into them? Oh Christ, dick’s getting hard between my stomach and mattress. Can’t take care of this. Don’t want to get out of bed. Just try to think nothing. Shake off the boner but can’t shake off consciousness. Sit up and turn the light on to read. Maybe that’ll work. Pick up the book of the moment. Damn it, it’s late. Read a few pages. Eyelids become heavy. Words go blurry. Drop the literature bedside and click off the light. Ok, this time sleep will come. Still not going to wake up for class tomorrow. Missed so many classes already. Last semester was the same though, and look how that turned out. Nevertheless, a somewhat normal internal clock would be nice. What the fuck, another hour has gone by. And damn it, these covers are itchy. Almost tingling. And I showered. Need whatever Heath Ledger took. Just less of it. Hey, 3:33. I wish to fall asleep right now damn it! Listen to the dog dreaming and yowling a couple of rooms over. Want to be in the same state. Don’t know what I want to do with my life. Hate lying here ruminating. Just want to move far aw…
10:45? Eh, I can miss my first class.
(Yes, this was my version of Midnight Plunder, for those who get the reference)
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