Peyton Manning pulled a Favre. Did anyone see that coming? That inception may not have been the last throw he made, but it might as well have been.

It’s amazing how little I have to say about this game. Maybe I’d have more to say if I could gush about Peyton Manning being the GOAT, but that’s kinda impossible when he was outplayed by Drew Brees, who was absolutely perfect. A QB can’t do much better than 32-39 for 288 yards and 2 TDs. If it weren’t for that pick, maybe Peyton would have. Or if Garcon caught that one pass. You know the one I’m talking about.

Seriously, I’ve got nothing. Uh, Reggie Bush didn’t do much. That I know. And my friend won 100 bucks in his pool. That was cool.

So is New Orleans officially rebuilt now? Did this Super Bowl win just make the city OK finally? Can we move on?

This Tweet in Baseball: Your Weekly Update on the Sport’s Twits – Walkoff Walk puts together a collection of amusing and inane tweets from people in the sporting world.

Does it matter that the Yankees keep buying pennants? – A long post ruminating on the Yankees’ massive payroll and what it means for baseball. The comments make the discussion pretty interesting.

Viva El WAR (Part 1: Hitters) – A fantastic rundown of the hottest baseball stat in the land from the #1 Cardinals blog on the internet. No doubt Cardinals fans love WAR due to it being just another way to quantify Albert Pujols’ greatness.

Super Bowl XLIV Ads – Not even sure why I’m linking this, since every American already saw how much they sucked. I expect spoofs of Google’s ad shortly. May I suggest one that ends with a search for “divorce lawyers in paris”?

Best (And Worst) Cities to Find Love – Hey, Valentine’s Day is in a week! This list sucks though. The three biggest cities in the US — New York, Chicago, Los Angeles — get Ds for ‘Social Life’ due to their formula depending on a ratio, not total number. I can maybe understand the singles ratio part, but restaurants and bars? Come the fuck on.

Sarah Palin’s Keynote Speech: Now With Tea Party Illustrations! – I really wish this post looked how it did in my Google Reader with no need to click on each individual picture. Nonetheless, I think the stupidity is still worth a look. And no, I do not subscribe to Jezebel, someone shared it with me, I swear!

The Secret History of the Birthers – How the movement associated with insane right-wingers actually started on the left. This is why I hate politics.

Maybe it would get more action if it were about the rejected gay dating site ad or Tim Tebow’s anti-abortion commercial? Or perhaps a “Who would be the best Super Bowl performer” poll. That’s actually a good one, but how would I even narrow that down? But I give you an easy poll and you just ignore it, so I don’t know what to think.

I’m not going to look at my blog for a few days — when I come back on Friday, I better see at least…6 votes!

Brett Favre’s last throw as a Falcon: INT
Brett Favre’s last throw as a Packer: INT
Brett Favre’s last legal throw as a Jet: INT
Brett Favre’s (possible) last throw as a Viking: INT
Brett Favre’s tears: Priceless

Of course, I use “throw” instead of “pass” for a reason. 7 on 7 flag football misdirection plays are so good to outsmart the other team. It’s amazing how he waited until the LAST POSSIBLE MOMENT to become vintage Favre. Throwing across the field for NO REASON. Absolutely tremendous.

I guess I’ll comment on the AFC Championship Game a bit, considering my team somehow made their way into it. Up until the two minute warning in the first half, the Jets were actually looking REALLY good. The Colts couldn’t score a touchdown, and Mark Sanchez was playing as well as he had played all season. His second touchdown pass of the half was really impressive, with him stepping into the throw right as a guy slammed him into the ground. I was at full mast at that point. Unfortunately, Peyton Manning then activated God Mode and was pretty much unstoppable for the rest of the 32 minutes.

There are probably plenty of people out there that don’t like him for whatever reason — and it’s not like I love him — but the guy is quite possibly the greatest quarterback of all-time. I don’t want Tom Brady to end up with more Super Bowl rings than him, I really don’t. And that’s why I’ll be rooting for the Colts in the Super Bowl. Yes, the Colts are fucking pansies for not going for the undefeated season, but the Jets had their chance to totally embarrass them for maximum hilarity today and they didn’t. Now the Super Bowl is just a matchup between the two best teams this year, and I think Manning will prove that he deserves that second ring.

Of course, the last time I made a post talking about someone being the best of all-time at something, he fucking lost. So whatever.

For all intents and purposes, it started on Saturday night for me. I stayed up to watch the entire Roger Federer-Rafael Nadal Australian Open final. Yes, I was awake at 8:30 AM to watch Federer bawl his Swiss eyes out. I knew I had time to sleep before the American part of the day, and I’m glad I was able to watch Federer turn into a massive vagina on live television.

Up until the 5th set, this may have been the best match I’ve seen between the two, even better than the Wimbledon final last year. There were so many rallies that totally blew my mind, and most of them were won by Nadal. But then the fifth set was a massive letdown, with Federer totally pussying out. The 22-year-old Spaniard just wanted the title more. Nadal had played a 5+ hour match two nights before — while Federer had a extra day of rest — and after playing 4 and a half hours, Nadal was the one who looked like he could play another 5 sets. Federer, after getting broken in the that final set, just gave up. And then in the aftermath, he cried, making Nadal feel he needed to apologize again for being the better player.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Euc2Zve69qg

After this match, I feel safe in saying this: I have never been so enthralled watching tennis as I am when I watch Rafael Nadal play. I’ve never seen a player so absolutely relentless, so mentally tough. As incredible as it is to watch Federer totally embarrass and dismantle his opponents, he just always makes it look too easy. Obviously he cares, and has immense passion for the sport, but Nadal just leaves his heart out on the court every. single. match. Every single point, even. He’s a goddamn madman who plays with total abandon and with no regard for his knees, which may explode at any moment. What happened to Federer in that fifth set would never happen to Nadal, and that’s why he has a shot at winning the Grand Slam this year. He has conquered every court now, and he owns the one man who could possibly stand in his way.

Now on to the biggest unofficial American holiday. I feel pretty un-American that I was more excited for the AO final than the Super Bowl, but come on, the Cardinals? And actually, I probably can’t type any more about the Super Bowl than I just did for the AO final. I missed the first quarter due to getting lost in an epic fashion, then missed the first 8 minutes of the third quarter due to the halftime Rock Band sesh going on too long. And even when i did watch, I was only half paying attention. Except for the 4th quarter, of course.

Why did it take Kurt Warner so long to start throwing to Larry Fitzgerald? The dude is an absolute beast. I feel like Arnold needs to kill him at some point. Predator was the MVP of the game, easily — it’s just a shame that Roethlisberger survived slamming his head through that windshield to come back and manufacture that winning drive. On a final note, that 100-yard INT return by Harrison was hilarious shit. There was no way that should’ve happened.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EaeF_mj8_sY

Needed to be posted.

The failure of the Patriots in Super Bowl XLII has sent ripples through the fabric of America and has raised many questions not only in my mind, but in the minds of all football fans. If you want to bet on your favorite sports teams and play slot88 games to win exciting prizes, you may visit an online casino.

I’m going to try to go through some of them here.

Did we just see the end of the Patriots dynasty?

The Patriots defense is old, and it’s what ultimately failed them. All they needed to do was stop Eli Manning from driving down the field with two and a half minutes left, and they couldn’t even do that. Also, the recent Yankee dynasty ended in similar, shocking fashion in the 2001 World Series, and this choke job eerily parallels the collapse in the 2004 ALCS. Now Yankee fans have a comeback when a Masshole brings that up.

Will the Tiki Theory now replace the Ewing Theory?

I personally think it should. Now I was a Knicks fan through the 90s, so maybe I have a bias here, but Ewing never badmouthed his coach and former players, at least to my recollection. The dude played his heart out and was disgracefully traded away. They may have made the Finals the year after, but look at the Knicks organization now. Meanwhile, all Tiki Barber has done since (and even before) he retired was talk shit about Tom Coughlin and Eli Manning. I hope he really enjoys pretending he’s a legitimate broadcaster. He’s not going to win any rings doing that.

Is Archie Manning the greatest father ever?

The guy sired and raised back-to-back Super Bowl MVPs. Not only that, but they both stopped Tom Brady from winning two more Super Bowl rings. He is the man at the forefront of the battle of good vs. evil.

Did Bill Simmons really just write this?

Through some mutual friends, I had arranged to hang out with Brady’s crew for what promised to be a laid-back celebration in somebody’s hotel room, probably no more than 15-20 people since Brady’s circle is surprisingly and refreshingly small. Because it was a rare chance to catch Brady in an unguarded moment — and an important moment at that — I spent most of Friday and Saturday thinking about that first paragraph and all the different ways it could start. I kept seeing Brady sitting in a chair with his right ankle encased in ice, quietly sipping a bottle of champagne with a satisfied smile on his face, and Gisele would be there, and everyone would be recapping 19-0 and remembering the incredible season. I liked the thought of a famous person celebrating a historic night in such a totally normal and relatable way.

That is more embarrassing than anything I ever wrote in my LiveJournal.

How long until Gisele breaks up with Brady?

Well, Jessica Simpson hasn’t broken up with Tony Romo, and he’s a much bigger loser than Brady. It’s much more likely that Brady will get her pregnant and subsequently leave her.

How many tears did Junior Seau cry last night?

Is this the greatest Super Bowl ever?

I’m inclined to say it is, but I’ve only been watching them for 15 years or so. But my grandpa backs me up, and he made a point of saying this was better than Super Bowl III. Like I said yesterday, add up the Patriots going for 19-0, the Giants deciding to become unstoppable out of nowhere, Manning vs. Brady, and one of the most intense games you’ll ever see, PERIOD, and you get a spectacle worthy of the name Super Bowl.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJ2yK5C9Ae4

SOOOOOOO AWESOME.

I’m still in shock. I just witnessed quite possibly the greatest Super Bowl of all-time. Adding up all the factors — the perfect season on the line, the Giants underdog storyline throughout the playoffs, Brady vs. the Mannings, and the fact that the game itself was absolutely amazing — I don’t know how anything else can stack up. I wish I was in the city to go insane with thousands of other fans. I’m not even a Giants fan, but it was a New York team going up against an undefeated New England team led by the Anti-Christ himself. Every New Yorker, and hopefully the vast majority of the country, was rooting for the Giants to smash Brady’s face in. And they most definitely did.

The Giants defense rattled Brady like no other team this season. He got hit at least a dozen times. He was throwing passes 5 years off target. He didn’t know where he was by the end of the game. They held the mighty Pats offense to 14 points. No one saw that coming, including myself. The Giants D-line was the MVP of the game, but I guess Eli deserved it for this play alone.

God reached down and slipped Eli free from that sack. He also provided David Tyree the stickum to hold onto that catch. I can’t describe how unbelievable that play was. One of the greatest football plays I’ve ever seen. It will be shown approximately 238929834 times over the next week, and I will never get sick of it. The new Immaculate Reception.

My friend Frank said that he knew the Pats were in trouble once Belichick showed up with a different hoodie. You don’t change your sweatshirt after 18 wins in a row. I thought the opposite when I saw that Peyton had shown up at the game. Superstition: it’s the baseball player in me. I’m kinda pissed I didn’t lay any money down on the Giants. I knew they’d cover the spread at the very least. Bah.

That’s about all I have to say on the subject at the moment. Not much needs to be said. The Giants just pulled off one of the biggest upsets in professional sports history. Eli Manning silenced his critics, me being one of them. The Patriots and Tom Brady’s quest for immortality was ruined. And Tiki Barber is left to eat massive amounts of crow and know that the Giants won a Super Bowl the first year without him. More than enough ownage to go around.

And yes, this website is hilarious: Perfectville

I wish I could see the video they made for the Patriots.

Just a little update on this spawn of Satan. I’ve noticed that my previous declaration of Tom Brady’s true nature has been by far my most popular post recently (no doubt with some help from Digg). I figured he at least deserved another post, considering his powers of evil have presented him with the opportunity for a perfect season this Sunday. Not to mention the events that have since transpired that only support my hypothesis: leaving his long-time girlfriend after getting her pregnant, taping other teams’ signs, and bringing together Yankees and Red Sox fans on the internet. Oh yes, I have seen it. Perhaps this fact is more damning of the scum involved, but some people are sadly too weak to resist the occult powers of Brady. It took me an hour to clean the projectile vomit out of my keyboard after seeing a virtual high-five between two fans of the aforementioned teams.

His powers have also reinvigorated Randy Moss, caused Defensive Coordinators to call timeouts at the worst possible times, and have turned the Red Sox into World Champions. Don’t let the Yankee cap fool you. That’s just him trying to trick the world into looking away from the truth. Hell, even the Celtics are trouncing the NBA. But even Brady knows not to waste his powers on the NHL.

I’m convinced that his loss to Peyton Manning last year was a sign of God’s intervention. God has taken the Manning brothers under his wing; it is fairly obvious that Peyton’s powers have been transferred to Eli this postseason. Brady’s fear of the newly-powerful Manning family most likely spurred him to make those Giants field-goal attempts go awry in the NFC Championship Game. But Brett Favre’s ineptitude was able to override his powers. I guess he couldn’t make THREE game-winning field-goal attempts go wide. Whether or not the Giants can slay the beast is just a matter of how well Eli can channel God’s power to combat Evil Lord Brady.

Do I think he can do it? Can’t say I’m counting on it. But I’ve been betting against the Giants this entire season. Hopefully they’ll continue to prove me wrong. For the sake of humanity.