REAL TALK – CHICAGO EDITION
So I was recently in Chicago for a couple of days and I figured this would be an opportunity to add to my ongoing series of city posts. This post would actually be better if the massive snowstorm didn’t move south. My flight back to New York would have been canceled and I would have most likely been stuck in Chicago for the entire weekend, judging by the snowfall amounts in the lower mid-Atlantic.
- I had never seen “CAUTION: FALLING ICE” signs on sidewalks before.
- Chicago’s skyline is the only one in North America to rival NYC’s. It’s pretty damn impressive — but still inferior. Second City indeed. I wonder which city has a higher density of Starbucks+Dunkin’ Donuts, though.
- Every other apartment had massive wooden staircases that seemed integral to the structures. Didn’t they learn anything from that incident in 1871?
- Walking around a city in a suit and overcoat had to be the first time I felt like an adult since…nope, that had to be the first time.
- Law schools being located way off main campus is total bullshit.
- Wrigley Field really does look like the 96-year-old stadium it is. And I only saw its exterior from the L (elevated rail). I imagine seating inside it makes you feel like you are back at the turn of the century. Until you notice everyone around you has a smartphone.
- Chicago apparently still wants the 2016 Olympics, as I saw a massive banner for it. Someone needs to tell Chicagoans they lost.
- Fuck deep dish pizza and fuck Roger Ebert. I had some pizza he apparently rated four stars — almost as inaccurate as his Avatar review.*
- I must admit the massive heating lights in some L stations were a nice touch, but if there’s a BIG city that needs its public transportation to be underground, it’s Chicago. Although, it was not particularly cold or windy (comparable to NYC) while I was there. Lucky me.
- O’Hare Airport didn’t have free Wi-Fi. Guess which airport did?
- On the plane trip home, while surfing through JetBlue’s live TV offerings, I came across Fox News. It was Glenn Beck, and the first words out of his mouth were, “What, do we all have pixie dust that shoots out of our butts from time to time?” I turned it off immediately before he could ruin the moment by making sense.
- I am no George Clooney — then again, who is?
*Ok, the pizza wasn’t actually THAT bad, but I just can’t endorse any pizza that is more efficiently eaten with a knife and fork. New York pizza has EATABILITY.
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