Over the weekend, the internet “leaked” a red band trailer of the American adaptation of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, the version I’ve been looking forward to since the announcement of David Fincher at its helm. Many people have put the quotation marks around “leaked” since Sony Pictures could have taken down the YouTube’d bootleg trailer before it came close to accumulating a few hundred thousand views. But it seems now the green band trailer has officially hit the web. The difference between red band and green band is that the former indicates an R-rated trailer, which means the latter has cut out the blood and boobs. I naturally prefer the red band, as it revels in the violent nature of the material more, but the two trailers are in almost every way exactly alike.

Trailer courtesy of Movie-List, via The Film Stage.

Other than Fincher’s involvement, I’m looking forward to the film due to Trent Reznor composing another score for him. I have no clue whether the trailer music is reflective of the film score, but no matter how you may feel about the cover of “Immigrant Song”, you have to admit it fits the trailer perfectly. Add that to Reznor’s fantastic work on The Social Network, and I’m confident he will know exactly how to score anal rape and serial killing.

And that brings me to why I’m looking forward to Fincher tackling this book: he does his best work when dealing with serial killers. Not to mention his movies are stylish as fuck. Anyone who can cut the story of Facebook into a fast-paced two-hour film simultaneously following the initial creation of the website, along with two separate depositions for lawsuits that were spawned by the site, is an extremely talented director. Ok, maybe he had help from Aaron Sorkin in creating the script that made those scenes so entertaining, but Fincher’s directing was probably the star of the film. I need to watch The King’s Speech just so I can say how little directing was even needed for such Oscar bait. “Just point the camera at the great actor with the stutter! People will eat that shit up!”

While The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is over half a year away (note the “Feel Bad Movie of Christmas” tagline), the next piece of entertainment is even further away. It should be arriving next year, but who knows with Blizzard? I could be talking about either Diablo III or the first expansion to Starcraft II here. But this time I’ll just post the first gameplay footage of SCII: Heart of the Swarm. There’s not really much to get excited about in the video, though, especially considering how shitty appearance of the main character, Kerrigan. I’ll probably make a dedicated post to Diablo III in the near future.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRWzB7T0LBw

To get to something that will come out soon, a trailer for the fourth season of Breaking Bad hit the web yesterday. It consists solely of scenes from previous seasons — whether that’s a positive or negative is up to you. I’m just glad I got a reminder one of the two best shows on television is back in July, which is only one month away. This summer has really sneaked up on me. If you haven’t watched Breaking Bad yet, get started now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=alFsfEUtDmQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHJwgA54Gqk

Just right-click here and save. And then watch it. Or stream it to your HDTV if you’re cool like me.

No really, I have this on repeat using TVersity to stream with my 360. I’ve already gone through a box of tissues.

I didn’t think I would allow myself to get so excited over a movie nowadays, but I would suck dick to see the completed film after watching that. The music, the special effects, the suits…oh my fucking God. I already think it’s getting to be pretty much impossible for Nolan to live up to the hype, but I’m still hoping for my brain to be splattered on the person behind me by the end of Inception.

Even the official website is slick as hell, with awesome music to boot. You have no idea how hard it is for me not to totally lose it and spill all my thoughts out in caps right now, e.g., HOLY FUCKING SHIT I’M JUST LISTENING TO THE MUSIC ON THE WEBSITE IN THE BACKGROUND AND I WANT TO RAPE SOMEONE’S MIND.

No, but really, I can’t stop watching it. Holy FUCK. And it gave me a new poll idea.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57saocQSQDo

I’ll say this first off: I am going to see this movie solely because it’s directed by Edgar Wright, the director of — as the trailer says — Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz. Those are two of my favorite movies of the past decade, so I have to give him the benefit of the doubt here. And the visual style of the movie does look pretty damn fun. If I can appreciate the totally ridiculous, eye-melting, seizure-inducing visuals of Speed Racer, I can enjoy a full-blown attempt to create a live-action comic book.

What I cannot take is Michael Cera’s face and voice. Hey, it was perfectly amusing in Arrested Development when he was 15 years old, but he’s now 21 and it doesn’t seem like he’s even hit puberty yet. Between his ugly baby face (refer below) and squeaking voice, a pristine ID wouldn’t be enough to convince me he was of legal drinking age. Maybe he’s meant to be a teenager in this movie, yet again. But then this chick would be kind of a slut with seven evil ex-boyfriends already.

Also, from everything I’ve heard, the original comic book is apparently making fun of hipsters. But at the same time many of the people that are most interested seem to hipsters. I don’t know what to make of this. Perhaps they are self-aware hipsters capable of laughing at themselves? Does that qualify as ironic?

What I cannot abide is making Mary Elizabeth Winstead look this bad. She was totally hot in both Live Free or Die Hard and Death Proof, but in this movie she’s got the whole kinda goth/hipster with no makeup thing going on and it’s just disappointing. She doesn’t even look that good when Scott Pilgrim falls in love with her at first site! Does he just have a purple hair fetish? I imagine this is the face I’d see if I asked him this question.

A closing thought: someone whose opinion I trust saw an advance screening and said the trailer is shit and the movie is awesome. So that’s encouraging. I trust Edgar Wright like I trust Christopher Nolan.

The poster may be just cut from The Dark Knight Template, but it’s still boner-inducing — probably due to that very fact.

Every sign points to Inception being fuck-awesome. Christopher Nolan. Leonardo DiCaprio. Joseph Gordon-Levitt (a.k.a. Heath Ledger 2.0). Ken Watanabe. Sci-fi. $200 million budget. It’s the perfect storm.

Let’s run down Christopher Nolan’s directing history:

Following – An extremely low-budget film noir, which happens to be sitting on my hard drive right now begging to be watched. I’ll probably update this post once I watch it. Allegedly very good, as evidenced by the 80% on Rotten Tomatoes.

Memento – A fantastic mindfuck of a movie that’s on a metric shitton of Best of Decade lists — including mine.

Insomnia – A remake of a Norwegian thriller. I vaguely remember enjoying it, but not to any great extent. I’m sure Pacino is entertaining, though.

Batman Begins – Totally revitalized a sinking franchise and turned it into the most prized property of Warner Bros. after Harry Potter. Set a new bar for comic book film adaptations.

The Prestige – A solid, if not spectacular film about two dueling magicians, Batman and Wolverine. Also had David Bowie in it. The ending is pretty damn fucked up, which gives it bonus points.

The Dark Knight - Set a new bar AGAIN for comic book movies. Got an amazing performance out of Heath Ledger, flipped an 18-wheeler, and blew up a massive building. No CGI for Nolan.

I think what I’m trying to say here is that there’s basically zero chance of this movie sucking. At the very least, it’ll be solid. It all likelihood, it will tingle your balls.

Just watch this teaser trailer. The city fucking BENDS IN ON ITSELF. I don’t even know what the fuck is going on, but I like it.

HD resolutions here from Apple.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhHL3lhBn5A

Is there anything I could add after watching that trailer? B-movie action stars, hammy one-liners and enough explosions to make Michael Bay wet the bed — what more could you possibly want? I wonder if anyone has ever had more fun putting together a movie than Sylvester Stallone did coming up with this shit. It’s like we’re back in the 80s — so bad it’s good.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZxBYItj2sM

I really can’t bring myself to dedicate too many words to Roland Emmerich’s upcoming 2012; I already came up with the perfect disaster movie idea in my previous post about it. There’s just nothing to say when you watch a clip that cannot be taken seriously on any level. There’s no way this movie is meant to be anything but 100% hilarious, and that’s an achievement when you’re dealing with the supposed end of civilization and billions of people dying. Where else can you watch people race an earthquake? Where else can you witness a plane fly through skyscrapers leaning on each other? Congrats, Roland Emmerich, you’ve done it again.

People love Planet Earth. Why can’t someone just make Planet Earth Destroyed, where instead of clips of a shark jumping out of the ocean to totally wreck some seal’s life, we get to watch skyscrapers collapse, asteroids rain down, and California fall into the ocean? This would all be scored by Clint Mansell. Because he’s awesome.

If you care to watch the destruction in HD, here are the direct links:

720p

1080p

But this is about all I remember. Apparently it only contains ten sentences anyway.

I just don’t think much of my childhood was spent reading. I was either playing videogames or playing baseball until I got hit in the face and started crying. That shit was awesome. As is the trailer after the jump: