It’s usually something like, “Holy shit, it’s 5 o’clock already? I haven’t even bothered to brush my teeth.” It’d be much worse during the winter. I’d have approximately 4 hours of daylight every day to waste. It’d be like living in Alaska.

I actually spend less time on the internet when I’m NOT at work.

Because I actually read! And other stuff too. I guess. Nothing productive. Actually no, I am looking hard for jobs. Yes, I most definitely am.

Unemployment benefits are bigger than I thought.

Or I’m just a moron who can’t read information correctly. I guess I’ll find out for sure in a week.

Daytime television is — and always will be — a massive wasteland.

The only thing I ever put on is ESPNews. Or maybe Mike’d Up, I admit it. Also, I recently found out Oprah injects estrogen straight into her vagina. I guess this post is as good as any to mention that.

There’s only so much time one can dedicate to analyzing fantasy baseball.

I can’t believe B.J. Upton had 2 steals in 3 straight games. I was CRUSHING my opponent in H2H in the SB category this week, and Upton had to go apeshit. At least I picked up Jim Thome — dude beasted this week. Now if only Joey Votto stopped being a pussy.

Reading outside on a reclining lawn chair in the middle of the day is totally awesome.

I love devouring Dick. Philip K. Dick.

I much rather watch episode after episode of a television show than one two-hour movie.

I know going in that I’m going to end up watching at least three episodes of whichever show, but I just can never seem to bring myself to watch whichever movie I currently have from Netflix. I was right to feel that way about Synedoche, New York.

My alcohol tolerance has been waiting for this moment to revert back to some semblance of its college level.

I feel like I can’t elaborate on that without sounding like a “Look at me, I’m so drunk” douchebag.

I still hate running.

No seriously, it fucking sucks.