I still think the Dodgers will beat your team, but if they don’t, I want you to blow the final game of the season. Game 7 of the World Series at either the bandbox that is Fenway Park, or the shithole that is Tropicana Field. I will make sure to have my voodoo doll sitting on top of TV. Maybe I’ll have it pinned to a dartboard. And as I hit the bullseye, you will give up a home run to Pujols. But how will Pujols hit a home run if he’s not in the playoffs, you ask. There will be a rip in the space-time continuum and Pujols will replace whomever is up, doesn’t matter if it’s Dustin Pedroia or Evan Longoria. Nobody will notice. But I will. I will see the flicker of Pujols’ soul engulf the puny mortal’s frame. Mark my words: PUJOLS WILL DESTROY YOU ONCE AGAIN.