If I’m going to make a blog post when the US beats Canada in an Olympic game, I have to be fair and make a post when we lose to them in the Gold Medal game. Were there any better hockey games in the Olympics than the two played between our two nations? That’s a serious question that no one that reads this blog can answer, most likely. Sure, I watched a handful of games, but not nearly all of them. But the US and Canada were clearly the best two teams throughout the tournament, and both games were hard-fought, absolute nailbiters that ended with explosions of ecstasy. One was sealed shut with an empty net goal flicked in by a diving American, while the other was ended by Canada’s golden boy, who is at this very moment no doubt getting serviced by three beautiful women of his choosing. And that’s not counting the gold medal girls — he pounded a few of those out in the locker room showers. Bastard.

But hey, I’m happy for Canada. They won the most gold medals and they closed out their own Olympics like a goddamn Hollywood script. Oh wait, then they had closing ceremonies with Nickelback. FUCK YOU, Canada. I wish we won — and gave Sidney Crosby a career-ending injury in the process.

Seriously though, that game was absolutely incredible to watch and might have convinced me to watch some Stanley Cup playoffs this year. I forgot how amazing hockey can be. Yet another sport I rather watch than soccer.

I’m going to be honest here, I had “Los Mets > U.S.A.” written as the title of this blog post in the 8th inning. Every fellow American reading this can thank me for jinxing Puerto Rico. No really, wasn’t that comeback fucking awesome? I thought there was no way I’d be this invested in the outcome of the World Baseball Classic, but when David Wright was up it was like I was watching a Mets game. Tightened stomach, tapping foot, typing between every pitch online. When his blooper dropped in, it felt like I was in the midst of the real baseball season. I just hope he can come through like that in the final week of the season this year.

As for Puerto Rico, watching the two Carloses — Delgado and Beltran — play well made me a bit torn (not to mention that I am half PR), and Beltran’s catch in particular made me sad, since I won’t be able to watch him do that at Citi Field due to the high outfield walls. It looked like their duo would be the biggest part of PR’s win until Wright finished the job steroid-abuser J.C. Romero started. Both of the pitchers PR went to in the 9th inning couldn’t find the strike zone, which is never good when you have a 2-run lead — one run of which was handed to PR when Derek Jeter displayed his totally eroded fielding ability. Putting him at shortstop while Jimmy Rollins was relegated to DH almost cost Team USA the game. Maybe they can learn from and build on this and actually make a run at winning the tourney. My money’s still on Japan, even if they are currently losing 3-0 to Korea. That country just cares way too much. If Korea wins, they’ll be forced to kill themselves.

I wish I listened to WFAN at work, just so I could listen to Mike Francesa flip a shit over every caller who wants to talk about this incredibly exciting game. And there will be a lot of them. Because New Yorkers only talk about college basketball because there’s usually nothing else to talk about.