http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NTRvlrP2NU

In related news, I really want Tom Watson to win the Masters at 60 years old, just so no one can pretend golf is a sport anymore.

The other commercial is not bizarre — just homoerotic. I feel like anything involving a male cast member of Jersey Shore is bound to have gay undertones, and I guess non-Mets fans will argue that David Wright has the same effect. Fuck you.

I present to you a Vitamin Water commercial starring David Wright and The Situation:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3W-nCmN_Ovk

The British Open was over once Watson totally flubbed the 5-foot putt that would have won him the Claret Jug. Yet I kept watching the trainwreck go down. I’m always looking for ways to troll golf, and what better ammunition than an AARP-eligible man winning a major? Federer vs. Tiger arguments would be over forever. I think they already should be, personally, but lots of people play golf, so they know it is pretty difficult. But being a hustler at billiards is pretty hard, too. Or being a champion bowler.

Anyhow, this is taking away from the fact that some guy older than my father almost beat a field of guys half his age over 72 holes of golf. It’s an accomplishment just being to walk the course for four straight days at that point. If he only didn’t pull a Greg Norman choke job. And Tiger missed the cut! *cue laughing* So fucking fantastic. I just love hating. I’ll take any opportunity.

It was sad to watch Watson fall apart in the playoff, though. I can’t hate on him, even if he smashed a drive so far into the rough that he couldn’t even get it out in one shot. No one will remember that Stewart Cink beat him, just like no one remembers who the benefactor of Jean Van De Velde’s choke-job-for-the-ages was. People will remember Watson, and how everyone was rooting for him, and how he came up just short. And people will remember this is why you don’t get your hopes up. /bitter Mets fan

Another Masters, another 2nd place finish for Tiger Woods. That’s a shame. At least now we won’t have to hear weeks of Grand Slam talk leading up to the U.S. Open. I still think he’ll win at least 2 majors this year. He’s been too dominant so far this year, and just happened to have a pretty horrible tournament. It’s nice to finish in second even when you’re playing terribly by your own standards.

As for that other guy who dominates his sport brutally, Roger Federer hasn’t looked like himself. He didn’t win the first major of the year in his sport either. Novak Djokovic has developed into a major threat to stop Federer ever breaking Sampras’s Grand Slam record (yes!). Not to mention he lost to Andy Roddick for the first time in 12 matches. It’s evidently gotten to him, as he has hired a new coach. I can understand, as that’d be like if I ever lost to someone in Virtua Tennis. Would’ve been devastating.

Maybe I was a bit preemptive in continually saying that Federer was more dominant than Tiger. Yet, at the same time, the period of dominance a player can have in tennis is much shorter than the one a golfer can achieve. Federer is already past his prime, and Tiger is still in the middle of it. The latter just has to play against every single other player each weekend, and this weekend some random English guy was better.