It’s amazing that even with an underpowered, two-and-a-half-year-old laptop, my two gaming companions of the past few months have both been PC titles. I have returned to my ongoing love affair with Team Fortress 2 and started a new and dedicated relationship with Starcraft II. Not only do I play both games a few times a week (ok, I actually haven’t played TF2 in a while), but I will continue to do so for years to come thanks to the frequent updates the games will receive.

And it’s not as if I fall in love with games easily; for example, I stopped playing Red Dead Redemption shortly after its release, quickly becoming bored of riding horses around a barren Western landscape while trying to aim and shoot with a shitty control scheme. I don’t want to digress into a Rockstar-bashfest or an argument about console and PC gaming; I’m just using my experience with Red Dead Redemption to contrast my experience with TF2 and SC2. Maybe I just enjoy games that end in “2″ this year (Mass Effect 2 was the fucking shit).

Although I love both TF2 and SC2, they are polar opposites. Two multiplayer games couldn’t be any more different from each other (perhaps UNO and Street Fighter 4 or Counter-Strike and Carcassonne). One game is a cartoonish and ever-evolving first-person shooter featuring at least one huge element of luck; the other is a science-fiction (although not exactly gritty-looking) real-time strategy game requiring multitasking, flawless execution, and a thorough knowledge of a game that is similar to its predecessor.

TF2 is about as casual and straight-up FUN as a PC game can be while still appealing to hardcore players. You can jump right in and play as a soldier, spamming rockets across the map at the other team, and have a good time doing it; or play as a Pyro, trying to find a way to get behind the other team so you can roast them up-close; or play as a Sniper, hanging back behind the rest of your team while trying to snipe enemies in the head. You can jump in and play for fifteen minutes or spend an entire night killing characters that look like they were created by Pixar.

Starcraft II, on the other hand, is about as ruthless and unforgiving as a game can be while still appealing to players who are unable to click their mice 100 times a minute. Although, the multiplayer is only appealing after you’ve played a bunch of the single-player. There’s no way you can just jump in and have any idea of what to do. And then even once you have an idea of what you’re doing, you’re still going to be on the very bottom of the ladder without knowing some basic knowledge. And then once you have a grasp of the basics and can follow a build order and know counters, you have to learn how to scout and keep track of your own base at the same time, how to attack and train reinforcements at the same time — then maybe you’ll be decent. Then maybe you’ll learn how to micro-manage your army for maximum effectiveness, using spell-casters to devastate the opposing forces in a way pure brute force can’t. And this all happens at a pace much faster than most other RTSs. Units and buildings are very fragile, magnifying every small mistake. Oh, you told those units to move instead of attack-move and lost a bunch of them? Guess you fucking lose now. It’s brutal. Yet when you win a close game or fight off early cheese (do you really want me to explain that?), there aren’t many games more satisfying.

What ties these two games together is their respective developers, Valve and Blizzard. Both are the kings of PC gaming because they stick to what they know and polish their games until they’re nearly perfect. There’s the “Valve-Time” meme, but Blizzard is just as bad with getting its games out in any reasonable amount of time — but no one cares once they are finally out. Whenever they come out with a game, it just becomes the de-facto standard for the genre. Starcraft is a spectator sport in Korea. Diablo II and World of Warcraft have ruined thousands of lives. Valve too has ruined thousands of lives, starting with the famous mod for the original Half-Life called Counter-Strike, a game that became a worldwide phenomenon and introduced many gamers to the concept of “clans.” But more importantly, Valve created Steam, a digital distribution and multiplayer platform that is probably the greatest development of the 21st century thus far. There’s no disputing the integral place of both companies in PC gaming history and its future.

The bottom line here is that both games offer more than enough content to satisfy most gamers. TF2 is the wacky, content-laden, constantly-updated distraction; SC2 is the high-maintenance, but ultimately rewarding obsession–well, as rewarding as beating someone at a VIDEO GAME can get.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHgEnN2PFzo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=639y7fweUBg

TF2 voiceover videos are one the few things that reduce me to a little kid who can’t stop laughing. KA-BOOM! KA-BOOM! KA-BOOM! This video is better than every episode of America’s Home Videos put together. And these TF2 videos only keep getting better, as Valve adds more and more voice clips with each update. So while I may go back and forth with how much I love playing the game, I’ll always love the Heavy.

And it was a productive weekend, at least in terms of the amount of entertainment digested in various form:

I got in sporting entertainment by hitting golf balls at the driving range. I am so ready to average a double-bogey over a 9-hole course. Fear my iron play.

I took part in alcohol-fueled entertainment while the Mets came back from a 5-1 deficit against the Giants’ crown jewel Tim Lincecum. Probably the high point of my weekend.

I fit in a trip to the movie theater to see Star Trek. It was merely OK and not worthy of the ridiculous praise it’s getting. Galaxy Quest is still the best Star Trek-related movie of the past 10 years.

I laid back and watched the last three episodes of House. I enjoyed the twist well enough, and I definitely like the implications more than the alternative. The show is past its prime, but it’s still too fun to watch House and Wilson.

I also rewatched Series 1 of The Office — the British version — with the intent of continuing with Series 2 and Christmas specials this time. I definitely appreciate it more this time around, compared to when I was a dumb teenager, but damn if it’s not terribly depressing if only due to being so much more truer to life than the American version. That sentence was terribly depressing for English professors.

Speaking of which, I read an entire book over the course of the three days, “Faith and Fear in Flushing” — a book I didn’t even have to pay for! The internet can be a great place. I recommend it for any Mets fan, but I’m not sure if I would recommend actually paying for it. Rediscover your local library.

Meanwhile, I’ll be rediscovering Team Fortress 2 for about the sixth time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTj6tauY1JU

So I’d love to give some impressions of the new weapons, but I spent my time killing all the other people double-jumping around in order to amass an arsenal. Instead, I will post this video of all the Scout’s new domination taunts.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IX__swbUwag

Edit: What the shit, my run apparently got wiped from my stats. It was there right after, but now it’s gone. I am just posting this so you do not think I am a liar. I know that revelation would’ve been life-changing. No need to worry, it’s just Steam’s fault.

The Scout update isn’t even here yet, but just the fact that I know that it is imminent has me ready to jump back into the multiplayer FPS of recent history. The new unlockable weapon pictured above only adds to the anticipation. Just in time for spring training.

Details (and future details) found at the Scout update site here.

The farther the ball flies before ricocheting offa some chucklehead’s skull, the longer he’s gonna be stunned. And guys who think they’re tough because they’re invulnerable? It works on them too. Now the bad news: You can’t double jump when you’re carrying this little beauty.

I’m really curious as to how the Sandman’s mechanics work, exactly. There has to be a delay for the Scout to toss the ball up to himself, no? And I imagine it will be extremely hard to hit distant targets, as the stun time time increases with flight length. It’s probably a pretty high arching ball, and I wonder if people will be able to consciously dodge them. I’m sure ubered Heavies would be glad to know they could dodge these balls as they fly across the level.

There are plenty of days on that Scout update site, so I’m hoping there are a bunch of new maps added as well. It’ll be fun to see if Valve can top this genius with the Scout’s other two weapons. Although, they do seem to leave the best for last in these pages, so I’m pretty freaking excited. You should be too. It’s amazing how Valve has kept the love of this game so high by creating substantial additions and spreading them out perfectly.  And it’s all free. Valve has pretty much cemented itself as the greatest gaming company of the past few years.

But I used my propensity to lie in bed to take advantage of my 360 as a media center. Many episodes of golden age Simpsons were watched, with Homer at the Bat standing out. Man, that episode is so awesome.

Mr. Burns: Mattingly, I told you to shave those sideburns!

Homer: You’re Darryl Strawberry!
Strawberry: Yes.
Homer: You play Right Field!
Strawberry: Yes.
Homer: I play Right Field too.
Strawberry: So?
Homer: … Well, are you better than me?
Strawberry: Well, I’ve never met you, but… yes.

And of course the credits song:

Well, Mr. Burns had done it.
The power plant had won it,
With Roger Clemens clucking all the while.
Mike Scoscia’s tragic illness made us smile,
While Wade Boggs lay unconscious on the barroom tile!

We’re talkin’ softball,
From Maine to San Diego.
Talkin’ softball,
Mattingly and Canseco,
Ken Griffey’s grotesquely swollen jaw,
Steve Sax and his run-in with the law.
We’re talking Hoooomer…
Ozzie and the Straw!

The most surprisingly hilarious quote out of all the episodes I watched had to be this one, though:

Lisa: Dad, what if I told you you could lose weight without dieting or lifting a finger?
Homer: I’d say you’re a lying scumbag. Why sweetie?

Scumbag is just a hilarious word, and I was shocked by “scumbag” coming out of Homer’s mouth back in 1992.

Other than The Simpsons, I actually started up Lost again. I had given up a few episodes into Season 3 after realizing I wasn’t paying attention each week. I had watched Season 1 on DVD, and watched Season 2 on TV and torrent alternatively. I almost gave up halfway through Season 2.

Why did I start again? 1) I’ve heard that Season 4 is fuck awesome. 2) My entire office watches it, so instead of being totally out of the loop and wanting to kill people talking about it the next day, I figure I should catch up before new episodes start again — whenever that is.

I watched 4 episodes of Season 3, and I’m surprised I stopped watching. It’s not bad at all. I think this cements the fact that Lost is infinitely better in short-term viewing. Man, I love streaming shit to my 360.

Did I mention I slept in between all this TV watching? It was awesome.

I also did play some Team Fortress 2 as well, but not enough to unlock any of the new Heavy weapons. Maybe because I was too busy being a Medic to heal all the Heavies, or being a Pyro to run circles around them and burn their faces.

I’ll end with this cool little thing:

Go here and select Team Fortress 2 Signature. (Click on Steam Signature and there’s a dropdown box)

My poor Xbox 360, all but kicked to the curb. The only thing gathering playtime in the past few weeks is GTA IV, and even then, it’s not exactly very enthusiastic gaming. I really should beat Mass Effect, Crackdown, and Burnout Paradise — considering how close I am — but how can I play those when I have years of PC gaming to catch up on? Company of Heroes, Civilization 4, Painkiller, Sins of a Solar Empire, S.T.A.L.K.E.R., World in Conflict, The Witcher, Command and Conquer 3, HL2: Ep.1+2…

You may notice those last two are also on the 360, but I can’t play an RTS with anything but a mouse and keyboard, and I’m too accustomed to playing Source engine games with them as well.

Team Fortress 2 has taken Call of Duty 4‘s spot in my gaming rotation as FPS of choice, I’m scrounging my way through the CoH single-player campaign, and I just went animal today and bought Sins of a Solar Empire and the “Every Single Damn Command and Conquer Game” pack.

Totally awesome. I’ve been playing Sins for the past 2 hours — it is a ridiculously epic and addicting game. A SMALL map is made up of 14 planets. I didn’t even finish the match yet. A large map with a bunch of people has to be easily more time-consuming than a game of Risk. Basically, it’s not a game that would ever make it to consoles. And with Red Alert 3 and Starcraft II coming out at the tail end of this year, I am set for a long while.

As for my 360…well, I need to beat GTA IV soon, so I can get a decent amount of money selling it. I need to fund all this PC gaming (and Ninja Gaiden II).