New York Times

Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz, the sluggers who helped the Boston Red Sox end an 86-year World Series championship drought and capture another title three years later, were among the roughly 100 Major League Baseball players to test positive for performance-enhancing drugs in 2003, according to lawyers with knowledge of the results.

I was so shocked that it took me a day to post this news. Either that, or I couldn’t bring myself to give a shit. Maybe if I were a Yankee fan who resided right outside Boston from 2004-2008, and was subjected to thousands of Red Sox fan gloating for years, then maybe I would care. As it is now, I don’t want to have these names leak out over the course of five years; I would have to hear and read sportswriters complain, and then have bloggers complain about the sportswriters, and then write about it all myself.

Everyone took steroids. What happens if Griffey is outed? Jeter? The shitstorm would be priceless. Personally, I think the only guy I wouldn’t want to hear about is Mariano Rivera. I don’t even see how he could have taken them, but I just want to keep imagining him as some freak of nature.

So if you’re reading this, you probably care about A-Rod and baseball, which means you know the news this weekend concerning the two. Four anonymous sources have confirmed that A-Rod tested positive for anabolic steroids in 2003. Something that never should have been made public, but has been leaked nonetheless. And the MLB network was loving every minute of it. It was great to watch someone else other than the guys on ESPN talk about the fallout of such a revelation, especially Bob Costas. I don’t know where the internet community stands on the tiny dude, but I unequivocally approve of the MLB network bringing him on board.

Getting back to the topic that will be talked about incessantly during Spring Training — I’m not surprised at all, and I don’t understand how anyone could be. I think the only player that would surprise me with a similar revelation would be Omar Vizquel.  Now granted, this type of evidence certainly wouldn’t hold up in a court of law, but whoever is leaking this information certainly doesn’t want to get in trouble, so I can understand the anonymity. I have no problem assuming that the allegations are true, even if it almost makes me feel bad for A-Rod at this point. There were apparently 103 other guys that tested positive, but his name is the only one leaked? Isn’t all the Madonna, shemale-loving, and Joe Torre book shit enough? Oh well, I guess $25 million a year can alleviate the pain somewhat. I’m just extremely curious about the rest of the list. 104 guys tested positive when they knew there was going to be testing — can you imagine how many guys were taking them in the years leading up to 2003? Christ.

That’s the bigger deal here. A-Rod taking steroids is a big blow to all the people that held him up as the poster boy for being the great clean hope of breaking Bonds’ HR record, but 104 players tested positive? And this was supposed to be kept under wraps forever and now has leaked to the public? The Players’ Union must be PISSSSEDDDD. But you reap what you sow, and this whole era has become such a goddamn shitshow that it’s pretty much a joke at this point. The problem was ignored for so long that now the media and even the freaking U.S. Government can’t let go of it. It feels like so long ago that McGwire made a fool of himself on national television, and I don’t see this blowing over any time soon, especially if that list of 104 players is made public knowledge.

At this point, I’m starting to lean towards allowing all these juicers in the Hall of Fame. Guys in every era took stuff to get an edge, amphetamines being the drug of choice in the 70s and 80s for the most part. If you keep all the alleged roiders out at this point, you’re going to missing a massive part of baseball history, quite honestly. Just stamp CHEATER on their plaques. Acknowledge that they were the best out of an entire pool of cheaters. Is that punishing guys that stayed clean? For the most part, I don’t think so, as there are guys that made it in without cheating. Possibly it hurts the borderline guys that never juiced, but shit, what can you do? I can see writers voting for those type of guys in 10-15 years, anyhow.

One thing that stands out to me in all this steroid talk: you never hear Manny Ramirez mentioned, on either side of the debate. I just find it interesting. I guess everyone just agrees that Manny being Manny does not include taking PEDs.

In the spirit of Christmas, here’s my wishlist:

Roger Clemens – Lots of fans have suspected him from a while, including myself. Not to mention he’s a total asshole. This would also really fuck with the writers who vote for the Hall of Fame. It’ll be hilarious to see them squirm.

Albert Pujols – Well, this isn’t so much hoped as much as expected.

Alex Rodriguez - Needs no explanation. …trannies

David Ortiz – Just to see Red Sox Nation cry beautiful, beautiful tears.

Chipper Jones – Braves fans would be…well, kinda disappointed. They’re horrible fans.

Curt Schilling – Would help to perpetuate the loudmouth hypocrite factor.

Gary Sheffield – Expected much more than Pujols, and maybe he would finally shut up.

Derek Jeter – The “intangibles” jokes would write themselves.

Tom Brady – I don’t care if he doesn’t play baseball.

As for people I DON’T want to see on the list…

David Wright – Man-crush

Bernie Williams – The best ballplayer I’ve ever met.

Ken Griffey Jr. – So he can continue to serve as the foil to Barry Bonds.

Mariano Rivera - Has always seemed like a good guy and a completely tranquil human being…that throws possibly the greatest pitch baseball has ever seen.

Greg Maddux – Always liked him more than Clemens, even if he was on the Braves. Plus he pees on rookies, which is disgustingly hilarious.

Ichiro - I don’t want him to commit seppuku and have the entire nation of Japan fall into a deep depression.

Pedro Martinez – He might be an asshole, but at least he’s pretty damn funny. Plus, he was the most dominant pitcher in the past 40 years for a while there.

Rick Ankiel – Oh wait, too late.

So about that Rick Ankiel being the savior of baseball, serving as a foil to Barry Bonds. That whole “feel-good story of the year” talk. Those Babe Ruth comparisons. Well, it might be time to scratch all that. I’m not really sure what to believe at this point. Ankiel was linked to an illegal drug distribution company. He received a whole year’s worth of HGH. This is back in 2004, before MLB had officially banned it. Ankiel says he got it prescribed to help come back from elbow surgery. I have no doubt that it helped heal that right up.

It’s just a shame that this has to come out now, in the middle of his glorious comeback. The guy has 9 home runs already in 24 games, and he’s hitting .353. That’s insane. Probably too insane. Even though he hasn’t been receiving shipments from that company, he’s probably been getting some of the good stuff through other avenues. I bet it’s something Scott Boras does for all his clients.

It’s pretty much impossible to think anyone is innocent at this point. Why wouldn’t a guy take HGH if there’s no test to detect it? Nevertheless, there’s always that smidgen of hope in everyone’s mind that their favorite players don’t take any sort of performance-enhancing drugs. And I’m no different. Right now, I want to believe that David Wright doesn’t take anything, I really do. And I’ll continue to give him and other players that I admire the benefit of the doubt. But with each passing day, it just gets tougher for any realistic person to believe that these guys aren’t juicing. Rick Ankiel (and Troy Glaus was also fingered) are just the guys that happened to be caught this time. Next time, it could be Alex Rodriguez or Albert Pujols. Ugh.