I’ll repeat what I said on Twitter: it’s like I just watched my childhood get sodomized by a dozen prison inmates with AIDS. How many times has The Simpsons jumped the shark now? How is it even still on television? Do any of these characters even qualify as characters anymore? There really should be a Supreme Court ruling on how long shows can go on for. Or just declare the first 8 or 9 seasons of the show a historical landmark or something so they can’t be touched and every other season is burned.

NSFW: I Admit It, The iPad Is A Kindle Killer. I Just Wish It Weren’t Going To Kill Reading Too – Makes a pretty damn convincing argument for why all but the biggest bibliophiles who also happen to be technophiles will get a Kindle instead of an iPad. Because really, who reads anymore?

The magic is dead – In which an aspiring writer e-buddy laments the sad state of affairs when it comes to practical effects. Filmmakers used to create ingenious ways to pull off shots and effects, while nowadays computers do all the work. I can’t say I care too much, except when the CGI sucks e.g. the Burly Brawl in The Matrix Reloaded. Sigh. There’s a reason why Jaws (mentioned in the blog post) still holds up today.

L.A. Candy by Lauren Conrad – A review of a book I’ll never read. Actually, I never would have heard of the author or the book if it weren’t for the damn internet. Apparently this “Lauren Conrad” was on “The Hills.” As much as I’m sure the book sucks — an opinion backed up by this review from another e-buddy — I’m impressed that she’s able to form complete sentences. Putting thousands of them together in a novel is just mind-blowing.

5 Ways Facebook Changed Dating (For The Worse) – Let me add 6) A girl is able to blow you off by saying “Facebook me”

How good was the Springfield Power Plant Team? – Remember that awesome Simpsons episode where Mr. Burns collects a bunch of Major League players for the softball game against Shelbyville plant and all the players except Darryl Strawberry fall victim to absurd incidents and circumstances? Well, I’m about to ruin it for most of you by linking to this article which grades the team by WAR. I think we all wondered why the hell Mike Scoscia was on the team, though, even as a kid. At least I did.

Regular Season Baseball Signals The “Return” of LOLMLB – So are these captions officially played out yet?

+/-, RZR, and New Fielding Stats – You didn’t think you’d get through this entire post without getting linked to a pure sabermetric article, did you? SO MANY FIELDING METRICS IN ONE PLACE WHAT AN EARLY BIRTHDAY PRESENT. RZR kinda sucks, though. It’s like that $10 gift card to some store you never shop at.

By the way, if anyone wants the aforementioned DVD season sets, they’re up for grabs at $10 a pop.

But I used my propensity to lie in bed to take advantage of my 360 as a media center. Many episodes of golden age Simpsons were watched, with Homer at the Bat standing out. Man, that episode is so awesome.

Mr. Burns: Mattingly, I told you to shave those sideburns!

Homer: You’re Darryl Strawberry!
Strawberry: Yes.
Homer: You play Right Field!
Strawberry: Yes.
Homer: I play Right Field too.
Strawberry: So?
Homer: … Well, are you better than me?
Strawberry: Well, I’ve never met you, but… yes.

And of course the credits song:

Well, Mr. Burns had done it.
The power plant had won it,
With Roger Clemens clucking all the while.
Mike Scoscia’s tragic illness made us smile,
While Wade Boggs lay unconscious on the barroom tile!

We’re talkin’ softball,
From Maine to San Diego.
Talkin’ softball,
Mattingly and Canseco,
Ken Griffey’s grotesquely swollen jaw,
Steve Sax and his run-in with the law.
We’re talking Hoooomer…
Ozzie and the Straw!

The most surprisingly hilarious quote out of all the episodes I watched had to be this one, though:

Lisa: Dad, what if I told you you could lose weight without dieting or lifting a finger?
Homer: I’d say you’re a lying scumbag. Why sweetie?

Scumbag is just a hilarious word, and I was shocked by “scumbag” coming out of Homer’s mouth back in 1992.

Other than The Simpsons, I actually started up Lost again. I had given up a few episodes into Season 3 after realizing I wasn’t paying attention each week. I had watched Season 1 on DVD, and watched Season 2 on TV and torrent alternatively. I almost gave up halfway through Season 2.

Why did I start again? 1) I’ve heard that Season 4 is fuck awesome. 2) My entire office watches it, so instead of being totally out of the loop and wanting to kill people talking about it the next day, I figure I should catch up before new episodes start again — whenever that is.

I watched 4 episodes of Season 3, and I’m surprised I stopped watching. It’s not bad at all. I think this cements the fact that Lost is infinitely better in short-term viewing. Man, I love streaming shit to my 360.

Did I mention I slept in between all this TV watching? It was awesome.

I also did play some Team Fortress 2 as well, but not enough to unlock any of the new Heavy weapons. Maybe because I was too busy being a Medic to heal all the Heavies, or being a Pyro to run circles around them and burn their faces.

I’ll end with this cool little thing:

Go here and select Team Fortress 2 Signature. (Click on Steam Signature and there’s a dropdown box)