http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Crw85HvIFs

Phillies 2012: A Look Ahead – MLB Trade Rumors gives me hope that the Mets will be able to win the NL East in two years. Hopefully by then Fernando Martinez will be in the OF; Ruben Tejada or Wilmer Floree, 2B; Josh Thole, C; and Jenrry Mejia in the rotation. I wonder if that last sentence was at all grammatically correct.

Ken Blackwell, Author Of ‘Blueprint,’ Tries To Convince Jon Stewart That Obama Is A Tyrant, Fails (VIDEO) – I’m just kinda embarrassed for this guy. He wrote a book and he’s not even able to back it up. At all.

Team Fortress 2: 119th Update! – I haven’t played TF2 for quite a while, but it’s easily one of my favorite games of the past few years, and it’s certainly one that keeps on giving. Valve rocks. I need to load it up just to get my GRIZZLED VETERAN medal.

The Chase is on – Adam Rubin lobby that Chase Utley is “poised” to take the title of Most Feared Opponent of Mets Fans from Chipper Jones. I’d say that already happened. My mancrush is only proof of how terrified I am whenever he comes to the plate. For an opposing player to already have unofficially claimed naming rights to a section of a stadium is just impressive.

Apple shutting down Lala music service – I thought Microsoft was supposed to be the evil company? Now I can’t stream the albums The A.V. Club reviews? Fuck you, Steve Jobs.

Blame The Superstar Syndrome – Why David Wright was getting booed. Or why Mike Francesa was saying to trade him a year and a half ago. Or why sometimes I end up talking about trading Jose Reyes.

Batman 3 Release Date Set – I was really tempted to make this its own post. But all I have to say is July 20, 2012. I hope it doesn’t suck; I don’t want Christopher Nolan to go out on a bad note before the world ends.

The Star Ledger

The seventh season of David’s improvised HBO comedy, which returns on Sept. 20, will be centered around the TV version of David finally agreeing to do a reunion of the defining ’90s sitcom. All four “Seinfeld” castmembers — Jerry Seinfeld, Jason Alexander, Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Michael Richards — will play themselves in multiple episodes, and the season finale will feature extensive snippets of the show-within-the-show.

Larry David loves this shit. He already had Jerry and George making “a show about nothing” within Seinfeld. I’d say he’s running out of ideas, but all he ever did was take real-life occurrences and possibilities and run with them anyway. This doesn’t really affect my anticipation of the new season of Curb, as I would’ve been all over it even if the overarching plot was Larry David trying to become a porn star. And this post is ruined. I’m sorry.

Just a heads-up, this is NSFW. A porn clip just randomly pops up out of nowhere at the 15:08 mark.

I’m Keith Hernandez from water&power on Vimeo.

Is it me or does this narrator do voiceovers for everything?

- Breaking Bad is the best show on television right now. Have I said this already? Too bad.

- I am worse than Morty Seinfeld when it comes to hot deals. Steam = Wizard Tip Calculator.

- If you don’t remember when Facebook was for college students only, you’re part of the problem.

- I only hear good things about Friday Night Lights, but I can’t get over my aversion to ever watching another minute of high school football (dramatized or not). Twenty movies was enough. I don’t want…your life.

- I would like to see a movie where the princess isn’t attractive.

- This is where we come to the consensus that Wish You Were Here was Pink Floyd’s best album.

- The MLB regular season not starting until April 5th is the current bane of my existence. I now hate the World Baseball Classic.

- College basketball gets worse every year. I am qualified to speak on this due to me not watching a minute of it in regulation this year (damn 6OT game).

- There is something immensely entertaining about Patrick Warburton dropping an F-bomb. I only wish he was allowed such an opportunity in Seinfeld.

- I now personally know someone with a Kindle. That makes me feel stupid by association. And I bought a Blu-ray player.

Shitty Drivers: The turning lane is NOT a merging lane. I’m going to sideswipe the next car I see turning INTO the turning lane and send them flying into oncoming traffic.

No Turn on Red Signs: I think I can figure out when I can turn right. I don’t want some useless sign adding a minute to my commute home. I could use that minute to browse the internet!

20th Century Fox: Worst. Movie. Studio. Ever. Stop making Alien vs. Predator, Alien or Predator, or any sort of movie involving awesome 80′s franchises, and trying to stop Watchmen from coming out. Not to mention the multitude of worthless movies you have released this year. I hate you.

Reality television: Maybe I should blame America for this. If you didn’t watch it, it wouldn’t be on all the time. And shouldn’t someone have died on Survivor by now? That title is such bullshit.

The cast of Arrested Development: STOP TEASING ABOUT A MOVIE.

Game Developers: People still want split-screen multiplayer, shitheads. Look at how the Wii is kicking the shit out of HD consoles. Racing games like Burnout Paradise and ESPECIALLY Pure should have local multiplayer. At least with Burnout Paradise, Criterion had the bullshit open-world excuse, but the developers of Pure had absolutely no reason to not include split-screen. SSX on ATVs! Without fucking multiplayer! What cockbag thought of that?

Sony: Whose awesome idea was it to take PS2 backwards-compatibility out of the PS3? The company that made the first backwards-compatible home console now produces the only current console WITHOUT it. Brilliant move. Really paying off.

Tom Cruise: You are fucking awful. Is it even possible for you to add inflection to your voice? The fact that you got a Golden Globe nomination for your non-performance in Tropic Thunder shows just how many people in Hollywood are Scientologists. What the fuck? You just played your Magnolia character (which was YOU), only in a hairy fat suit. You are Tom Cruise in EVERY. SINGLE. MOVIE. I bet the producers and director of Valkyrie originally wanted the actors to speak in German accents, but since you couldn’t speak in one, everyone had to speak like Americans. Please take your crooked smile and Xenu worship and go away.

Boxee: I want a Windows beta now! I want to be able to watch all types of web content on my HDTV with a pleasing interface! Damn you for developing for Macs first.

Macfags: Why do I use a word generally accepted as a derogatory term? Because in this case the person actually deserves the ridicule. I guess maybe Apple Fags would be a more appropriate term — since I’m definitely including early iPhone adopters — but I think this rolls off the tongue better.

TMZ/Paparazzi: You contribute absolutely nothing to society. Please pass go and fall off a cliff. Unless you have nude photos of some hot actress — then you can live.

The New York Mets: You have all but destroyed my soul. I don’t think I can say any more than I have already said many times before.

Baseball’s Free Agent System: The Yankees just signed three of the biggest free agents this offseason. They have just totally shat on the rest of baseball. This should not be allowed to happen under any circumstances. It is goddamn ridiculous. Maybe if the Red Sox weren’t such tight-wads, considering they probably pull in a comparable amount to the Yankees. Whatever, Bud Selig sucks.

George Lucas: You shouldn’t be allowed to leave Skywalker Ranch. Please stop being involved with movies. Everything you touch turns to suck. Poor Indiana Jones.

Work on Christmas Eve: Not cool.

I promise I will really update tomorrow.