A Disturbance In The Force – BURGER WARS. This would be the post the above graphic originates. The title comes from treating McDonald’s as the black McEmpire and displaying other fast-food places as different-colored pockets of resistance. I have no problem with making McDonald’s evil. Does anyone find it strange that Dairy Queen’s region of dominance is the coldest part of the country? Sure, there’s 5 feet of snow on the ground and the wind chill of -40, but I sure want a DQ Blizzard!

My Roger Ebert Story – Will Leitch recounts how he grew up idolizing the film critic, attended his alma mater, initiated contact with him, met and hung out with him, asked him for advice, and then turned on him with an article entitled “I Am Sick of Roger Ebert’s Fat F—ing Face.”

Jenrry Mejia Looks Like Jenrry Mejia – A plea to not turn the Mets’ #1 pitching prospect into a reliever. I agree with this. I don’t want the Joba fiasco to happen with the Mets. Keep him in the minors and let him develop as a starter and don’t bring him up until he’s ready to START.

Mets as Best Picture Nominees – This is pretty cool — I get to kill two birds with one link. Jose Reyes = District 9 and K-Rod = Avatar are the best comparisons.

8 History-less History Channel Shows – This list is just kinda depressing. Not that I’ve watched the History Channel in years. But that just means I watched more when it showed actual history. I’m not responsible for this, I swear!

Everything I Know About Japan, I Learned From Mr. Baseball – I enjoy linking to stuff that involves Tom Selleck.

Best Single Season WAR (without winning the MVP) – The required weekly link to a post featuring sabermetrics.

Valve’s Big Fat Hint: Steam for Macs? - I really need to dedicate a full blog post to this, but I might as well sneak this in here for now. This has been a big sticking point for me with regards to Macs. No Steam = no sale. Now what do I use as an arguing point?!?

- I had never seen “CAUTION: FALLING ICE” signs on sidewalks before.

- Chicago’s skyline is the only one in North America to rival NYC’s. It’s pretty damn impressive — but still inferior. Second City indeed. I wonder which city has a higher density of Starbucks+Dunkin’ Donuts, though.

- Every other apartment had massive wooden staircases that seemed integral to the structures. Didn’t they learn anything from that incident in 1871?

- Walking around a city in a suit and overcoat had to be the first time I felt like an adult since…nope, that had to be the first time.

- Law schools being located way off main campus is total bullshit.

- Wrigley Field really does look like the 96-year-old stadium it is. And I only saw its exterior from the L (elevated rail). I imagine seating inside it makes you feel like you are back at the turn of the century. Until you notice everyone around you has a smartphone.

- Chicago apparently still wants the 2016 Olympics, as I saw a massive banner for it. Someone needs to tell Chicagoans they lost.

- Fuck deep dish pizza and fuck Roger Ebert. I had some pizza he apparently rated four stars — almost as inaccurate as his Avatar review.*

- I must admit the massive heating lights in some L stations were a nice touch, but if there’s a BIG city that needs its public transportation to be underground, it’s Chicago. Although, it was not particularly cold or windy (comparable to NYC) while I was there. Lucky me.

- O’Hare Airport didn’t have free Wi-Fi. Guess which airport did?

- On the plane trip home, while surfing through JetBlue’s live TV offerings, I came across Fox News. It was Glenn Beck, and the first words out of his mouth were, “What, do we all have pixie dust that shoots out of our butts from time to time?” I turned it off immediately before he could ruin the moment by making sense.

- I am no George Clooney — then again, who is?

*Ok, the pizza wasn’t actually THAT bad, but I just can’t endorse any pizza that is more efficiently eaten with a knife and fork. New York pizza has EATABILITY.