- I never realized I was spelling “vaseline” wrong until now when Firefox just corrected me. I blame the Stone Temple Pilots song “Vasoline” — which I have listened to countless times. DAMN YOU SCOTT WEILAND

- Johan Santana has not been worth the money so far. John Maine just became the first Mets starter to record an out in the 8th inning. But at least we didn’t sign Barry Zito.

- I can’t think of a game where you depend on your team more than Team Fortress 2. It makes winning a hard-fought game that much more satisfying.

- Isaac Asimov pretty much owns.

- The new Wendy’s Spicy Chicken Wrap — it is so choice. If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up.

- Why don’t more outfielders have arms like Rick Ankiel?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRWEFJQB47E

- Do not Google Image Search “Heath Deadger”

- I want to see a Geico commercial where the cavemen are brutally mauled by saber-tooth tigers.

- I find it hard to believe any sane person is still hyped for Spore. When it was first announced 1000 years ago, I had to be as excited as anyone, and now I wouldn’t care if the game never materialized.

- Starcraft II, on the other hand…

- The Downward Spiral is the best angst-filled album ever. And to think kids these days listen to Linkin Park for their anger-releasing needs.

- Regret of the semester: Cute girl with a great body, who loves Hot Fuzz, and is enrolled in a sci-fi class. Glad I barely talked to her before I NEVER SEE HER AGAIN.

So about that Rick Ankiel being the savior of baseball, serving as a foil to Barry Bonds. That whole “feel-good story of the year” talk. Those Babe Ruth comparisons. Well, it might be time to scratch all that. I’m not really sure what to believe at this point. Ankiel was linked to an illegal drug distribution company. He received a whole year’s worth of HGH. This is back in 2004, before MLB had officially banned it. Ankiel says he got it prescribed to help come back from elbow surgery. I have no doubt that it helped heal that right up.

It’s just a shame that this has to come out now, in the middle of his glorious comeback. The guy has 9 home runs already in 24 games, and he’s hitting .353. That’s insane. Probably too insane. Even though he hasn’t been receiving shipments from that company, he’s probably been getting some of the good stuff through other avenues. I bet it’s something Scott Boras does for all his clients.

It’s pretty much impossible to think anyone is innocent at this point. Why wouldn’t a guy take HGH if there’s no test to detect it? Nevertheless, there’s always that smidgen of hope in everyone’s mind that their favorite players don’t take any sort of performance-enhancing drugs. And I’m no different. Right now, I want to believe that David Wright doesn’t take anything, I really do. And I’ll continue to give him and other players that I admire the benefit of the doubt. But with each passing day, it just gets tougher for any realistic person to believe that these guys aren’t juicing. Rick Ankiel (and Troy Glaus was also fingered) are just the guys that happened to be caught this time. Next time, it could be Alex Rodriguez or Albert Pujols. Ugh.

Only two days removed from an admitted (albeit inadvertently!) steroid user being crowned the new Home Run King, along comes a guy that everyone can really look up to. If you’re any sort of baseball fan, you knew who Rick Ankiel was before he got his call up yesterday. He was a phenom lefty pitcher with a disgusting curve who was going to be the anchor of the Cardinals staff for years to come. Then he crashed and burned in the 2000 NLDS, becoming the first pitcher in a century to throw 5 wild pitches in one inning. At the time, I didn’t realize I was watching the beginning of the end for his pitching career. Nevertheless, it was more painful to watch than an episode of American Idol. Even worse was watching him get pulled in the first inning against the Mets in the NLCS. Even rooting for the Mets, I didn’t want to see the end of what promised to be an amazing career.

Well, for all intents and purposes, it really did turn out to be the end. After years of trying to get his head back on straight and his pitches in the strike zone, Ankiel decided to become a full-time outfielder. He had been a decent hitter, hitting .250 with 2 home runs his first full year in the majors as a pitcher. He was going to attempt to pull a Roy Hobbs. A knee injury last year put a hold on his outfielding career, but this year he was leading the Pacific Coast League with 32 HRs. When Scott Spiezio was quietly dumped off the roster due to having a drug problem, Ankiel was called up to fill the spot, and to provide some great PR.

Little did the world know that they would be treated to yet another moment that Hollywood would be jealous of. As Ankiel went up to bat for the first time, the St. Louis crowd stood up and gave him a rousing hometown welcome. The 20-year-old kid that wowed them 7 years ago was back, only this time he was the one looking foolish at the plate. In his first at-bat he popped up to short, and then looked completely overmatched in his next two at-bats, striking out both times. Even after that, the crowd still cheered more loudly for him than anyone else. And why not? He had seen the end of his dream and still managed to make his way back to the major leagues.

No one could’ve expected that in his fourth at-bat that he would combine Kirk Gibson’s swing and Roy Hobbs’s natural talent to hit one of the most emotional home runs that baseball has ever seen. The entire city of St. Louis must’ve been shaking. Grown men were crying and hugging in the stand. Tony LaRussa is usually the definition of subdued, but even he was running around and yelling as Ankiel rounded the bases. It’s a moment that reminds everyone why baseball is the greatest sport known to man, and helps us forget about the travesty that took place only a few days ago.