http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glii-kazad8

- Somehow I managed to NOT make a post about Anderson Silva’s miracle triangle armbar a week ago. The dude is fucking amazing. Just like seemingly everyone else, when Silva was taken down in the 5th round I thought the match was over, but he had enough strength left after getting punched more than in his entire UFC career to pull that shit off. Wow. GSP-Silva needs to happen ASAP.

- It’s amazing how It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia is now AT BEST the third-best half-hour of television on FX. Archer and Louie have had amazing first seasons, while Sunny is in decline. Shit, The League had a fantastic first season, too.

- My ability to not buy shit has increased tenfold. The Bourne Trilogy on Blu-ray for 35 bucks? Months ago, I would’ve jumped on that like Tiger on a blonde cocktail waitress, but now I just want to sell more things. I apologize for the Rick Reilly/Jay Leno-esque joke.

- It always feels good watching guys who make a living playing golf miss 5-foot putts. Then I remember they make hundred of thousands, if not millions, of dollars playing golf.

- I need to play a roto fantasy league for money next year. And a keeper league. Maybe combine the two for ultimate fantasy baseball action.

- I don’t touch upon controversial subjects on here much, especially not legitimately important controversial subjects, but the Ground Zero Mosque bullshit is ridiculous. I won’t dedicate a full post to it because it’s too fucking simple. It’s a goddamn community center two blocks away, not even within view of Ground Zero; it’s not the 100-foot-tall minaret-topped building most people envision when they think of mosques. I understand the outrage of some relatives of victims, but some people in that group didn’t want any reconstruction at the WTC site at all. Sorry, but fuck them. I totally empathize with their grief, but life needs to go on. Republicans meanwhile, politicize a building that SHOULDN’T BE A FUCKING ISSUE, but vote against a bill that would actually help people directly affected by 9/11.

- Girls grow up way too soon. I’m going to stop checking out hot girls in the mall, because I’m sure they are all 16 years old.

- I’m not surprised at Scott Pilgrim vs. The World totally bombing, losing to Inception‘s 5th weekend. If it weren’t for Edgar Wright’s involvement, I would think the movie looks incredibly awful. Since I doubt most people care about that fact — if they were even aware in the first place — $10 million sounds about right. But I’ll still go see it; I don’t want to risk Speed Racer-like regret.

- David Wright is now officially having the worst offensive season of his career. It’s cool how Wright and Jose Reyes have declined right when most players hit their prime. Really. Fucking. Cool.

- I feel like such a massive douchenozzle for ever doubting David Wright. I didn’t draft him with either of my first-round draft picks in fantasy, and he was gone by both my second picks. And then I allowed him to go for $33 in my auction draft. That actually is decently high, but I paid more for Prince Fielder. What a fuckface I am.

- I admit it: I’ve never gotten the appeal of the “Auto-Tune the News” thing.

- I just saw some people describe the first two seasons of Friday Night Lights as soap opera-y. Sorry, I only watch soap operas with amazing production values that air on AMC.

- Speaking of which, I think I’m going to end up buying this poster.

- It’s kinda amazing how FIFA consists of more national teams than their are member states in the United Nations. Especially considering how much a joke FIFA seems to be.

- It took until I was 24 years old for me to get my first, “I used to have a crush on you.” I feel like that’s kinda sad.

- Red Dead Redemption convinced me to tell myself not to buy any games for a while (except for Starcraft 2). Steam constantly makes such a pronouncement extremely difficult to adhere to. Really, Left 4 Dead 2 for 10 bucks? Yet I resisted. Perhaps I am developing some semblance of willpower.

- I think we can all agree that The Shield has one of the best series finales of all-time. But it also has one of the best series premieres. What other show(s) can say that?

- Do not slam your putter length-wise into the ground, no matter how half-assed you might think the slam will be.

- Girls really do dig guys with iPhones – I witnessed it firsthand. Maybe I should carry around my iPod Touch and pretend it’s an iPhone.

- INCEPTION is less than three weeks away. I wonder how many (more) wet dreams I’ll have about it between now and July 16th.

- In case you were wondering: yes, oil is still pouring into the Gulf of Mexico. I say we nuke the site from orbit, it’s the only way to be sure. I’m so original.

- Welp, sorry I didn’t make a WEEKEND LINKS post this weekend. Only one weekend in and I’m already too goddamn lazy to make a post where I pimp other websites and blogs. I suck.

- I actually enjoyed Avatar but now I fucking hate it because it’s winning awards and breaking every goddamn record that seems to be in existence. I am a typical internet backlasher, but I don’t care. Fuck Avatar. TWO BILLION DOLLARS ARE YOU KIDDING ME

- I’m so spoiled by Blu-ray that I couldn’t even bring myself to watch the episodes of Sons of Anarchy on my hard drive for more than 15 minutes. A widescreen show recorded from a standard-resolution broadcast blown up to full screen = unwatchable. Basically the equivalent of listening to 64kbps mp3s on iPod earbuds.

- I just figured out how to block Farmville updates on Facebook. This has made my night.

- I bet this blog would actually be more popular (or at least interesting) if I were more personal. And by personal, I mean posting nude pics. Oh yeah.

- But really, I hang onto regrets an unhealthy amount of time, so I’m pretty sure my latest will last a lifetime.

- Selling shit is kinda addictive. Or maybe getting rid of shit is somewhat liberating. A little bit of both? Who wants a TV on DVD variety box?!?

- I love dogs, but I’d probably own a cat before I owned a dog that sheds.

- Sometimes I fantasize about having a psychotic meltdown and breaking every piece of electronics (and other stuff too) in my room, ending up with me lying, bleeding, in the middle of the room with broken glass and shattered plastic strewn all around me. That’d make a good scene for an indie film pre-packaged for Sundance Film Festival. I’m not sure which indie band could be played over the scene, though.

- I recently subscribed to The Economist, but I think I’m going to end up canceling it — not because it sucks, but because there’s just too much information. By the time I get around to finishing a few articles in one issue, the next one comes. I overwhelm myself enough with stupidity; I don’t need to be overwhelmed by periodicals.

- The NFL is rigged and Roger Goodell loves Mark Sanchez (like every female on Earth). Only way to explain how the Jets are in the AFC Championship Game. I still can’t believe it.

- It only took a week with the iPod Touch to NOT care about the iPhone again. The Touch is already fucking up when it comes to playing my music and videos, so I’ll just assume the problems could only get worse with a device that also needs to make phone calls. I’m just glad I didn’t pay for it. Fuck Apple.

- I’ll admit that for whatever reason, getting a new iPod made me attempt to get into podcasts. I’ve been going mostly with informational ones; what a goddamn nerd I am. I actually found a 15 minute podcast on blinking interesting.

- Mark Sanchez went from hyped draft pick to immediate savior to bum rookie in record time.

- I had the first urge to play a video game in two months just now, but I decided to watch classic Simpsons instead.

Owner: Take this object, but beware it carries a terrible curse!
Homer: [worried] Ooooh, that’s bad.
Owner: But it comes with a free Frogurt!
Homer: [relieved] That’s good.
Owner: The Frogurt is also cursed.
Homer: [worried] That’s bad.
Owner: But you get your choice of topping!
Homer: [relieved] That’s good.
Owner: The toppings contains Potassium Benzoate.
Homer: [stares]
Owner: That’s bad.

I think I made the right choice.

- Wait, the NHL has started? There’s still an NHL?

- Fantasy football (or any sport for that matter) leagues consisting of only 5 teams do not work. And I say this because I am winning my 5-team league — when I wasn’t even present for the draft.

- Did I mention I won my roto fantasy baseball league by 12 points? That’s going to be a pickup line from now on. 12 POINTS!

- Totally fuck awesome movies I saw for the first time in the past month: City of God and 28 Days Later. The former being one of the best gangster (that qualifier might not even be needed) movies ever, and the latter being one of the best zombie movies ever — both shot brilliantly stylized. Nice to see I’m catching up with this decade’s classics just before the decade is over.

- THE BOOK is required reading for any baseball fan with a semblance of nerdiness — and also baseball managers. *cough* Joe Girardi *cough*. (Actually, *cough* pretty much every single manager *cough*.) You’ll never look at the game the same way again.

- Kate Hudson’s magic vagina isn’t enough for A-Rod.

- Anderson Silva has to be the most entertaining fighter in the UFC. Georges St. Pierre might be a perfect machine, but Silva is the MMA equivalent of an Ali and Roy Jones Jr. cocktail. He fights inside the Matrix.

Higher quality GIFs here.

- Never tell yourself you’ll never do a certain something again, because you’ll feel that much worse when you do it and it bites you in the ass.

- This trailer for the upcoming movie Brothers is one of the most hilariously awful things I’ve ever been subjected to. Maybe this is because I find Tobey Maguire impossible to take seriously after Spider-Man 3. Or maybe because the entire movie is shown in the trailer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJtEUfSAfOk

- Life is always that much better when you’re in first in both your fantasy baseball leagues.

- I randomly discovered Kayak.com in a NeoGAF thread today — I highly recommend it to anyone looking for a flight. Simpler than any other site I’ve seen. Not that I’ve actually flown anywhere for a vacation this decade. Holy shit, I need to go somewhere.

- Staying on the simple website topic, Mint.com is apparently some website that can keep track of all your finances for you. But they need to know how to access all your online account information. I only allow third-party access to my pathetic life, not my pathetic finances, thank you very much.

- Eggs are required when you’re ordering at a diner after midnight. There are no exceptions to this rule.

- Weird things happen at bars at 3:30 am, like a 20-something girl walking out with a 50-something guy wearing a Hawaiian shirt. I hope I’m that cool when I grow up.

- Jeff Francoeur continued mediocrity — interpreted as above-average contribution by idiots — is probably the worst-case scenario for next season, since it would convince Minaya that he’s the answer in RF. Amazin’ Avenue covers it here. On a related note, Amazin’ Avenue also covers the stat known as WAR pretty well in the process of ripping another blogger/radio show host.

- As you could have guessed by now, I think a girl talking about baseball stats would probably be the hottest thing ever. Even better than ass-to-ass, Requiem-style.

- Did I never write a post about Five Guys? Best fast-food I’ve ever had. Nothing better than a bag of greasy fries and a fresh double-pattied bacon cheeseburger. If people from the West Coast read this blog, they’d say that In-N-Out is better.

- Why can’t I find a decent Christina Hendricks wallpaper? The internet has failed me.

- A friend just saw two episodes of 30 Rock on a plane trip back from Japan. He bought both season sets and now loves Tina Fey. I feel like he’s behind the curve on this.

- Casablanca still rules, Citizen Kane does not. I might make a post to expand on this thought, we’ll see.

- Heaven is overrated if Christina Hendricks and Monica Bellucci aren’t 69ing up there.

- The decline of America is best exemplified by the rise of Megan Fox.

- Ireland would be the perfect country for an alcoholic American who only speaks English to visit alone. Although, one should perhaps brush up on some soccer beforehand.

- When is Harry Potter going to disappear? Surely interest must be running dry? *looks at box office results* Oh. Nevermind.

- Seeing kids who were already much taller than you back in HS — and finding out face-to-neck that they grew even more while in college — is not cool. Tall bastards.

- I mentioned Casablanca – which is pretty much accepted as the most romantic film ever — but it’s idealistic bullshit. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, even though it’s based around such an unrealistic concept, centers around one of the most realistic love stories on film. It’s so brutal.

- Breaking Bad is the best show on television right now. Have I said this already? Too bad.

- I am worse than Morty Seinfeld when it comes to hot deals. Steam = Wizard Tip Calculator.

- If you don’t remember when Facebook was for college students only, you’re part of the problem.

- I only hear good things about Friday Night Lights, but I can’t get over my aversion to ever watching another minute of high school football (dramatized or not). Twenty movies was enough. I don’t want…your life.

- I would like to see a movie where the princess isn’t attractive.

- This is where we come to the consensus that Wish You Were Here was Pink Floyd’s best album.

- The MLB regular season not starting until April 5th is the current bane of my existence. I now hate the World Baseball Classic.

- College basketball gets worse every year. I am qualified to speak on this due to me not watching a minute of it in regulation this year (damn 6OT game).

- There is something immensely entertaining about Patrick Warburton dropping an F-bomb. I only wish he was allowed such an opportunity in Seinfeld.

- I now personally know someone with a Kindle. That makes me feel stupid by association. And I bought a Blu-ray player.

- I can’t wait to see David Wright get picked before A-Rod in my fantasy league again. Especially since this time it won’t be due to my own homerism.

- Louis C.K. is better than your favorite current stand-up comedian.

- I think we can all agree the “spring forward” aspect of Daylight Savings Time is one of the few things more annoying than Jimmy Fallon.

- I’m still amazed that South Africa is in the World Baseball Classic. I didn’t think baseball had ever touched that continent.

- I don’t know why anyone would code their own website. In addition to WordPress — which you might guess, I love — there are a shitload of services out there for every type of site.

- If there’s one thing DSLR’s do, it’s making you feel like a real photographer. My Flickr account will actually be utilized from now on. At least until I move out and have to make do with whatever cheap point-and-shoot I purchase.

- So I hear Watchmen has a ton of blue penis. Apparently, it’s rated R for Smurf nudity. Smurf-God nudity.

- I saw a guy dressed up as Green Man this weekend. It was all I thought it could be and more. He drank his beers through the costume. Awesome.

- I wish Breaking Bad was on Hulu, so I could embed last night’s season premiere in this post.

- Speaking of AMC, the channel is airing Catwoman next Sunday night. Not only that, but it is advertising that debacle. I think this destroys any thought that AMC actually held its movies to some sort of “classic” standard.

I feel like I’m not using the internet to its full potential if uTorrent isn’t active.

I wonder if Cal Ripken Jr. felt like an asshole breaking the record of a guy with a fatal, incurable neurodegenerative disease. He should’ve. Lou Gehrig >>>>>>>> Cal Ripken Jr.

Joaquin Phoenix is a greater comedic genius than Sasha Baron Cohen. If you haven’t realized this already, you will soon know, along with the rest of the world.

The new toolbar for Windows 7 is pretty cool, particularly pinning program icons, which renders quick launch obsolete. Stealing from Apple is sometimes for the best.

I don’t think I “get” Kurt Vonnegut.

You’re supposed to start hating snow as you get older, but I still love every snowfall. Maybe if I lived upstate or in Wisconsin I’d feel differently. But then I’d be an idiot.

I want to rescind my endorsement of Fangraphs, as they now have calculated win values and market value for pitchers, in addition to their values for players. They have Gil Meche being worth more than Johan Santana last year. That is objectively wrong. Fuck them.

They should’ve had the Presidential Inauguration today. I’m not usually a fan of this type of sentimental crap, but swearing in the first black president on Martin Luther King Jr. Day would’ve been pretty cool. If you are black, please comment on this thought. Whiteys need not respond.

- Every time I decide to give Macs a chance, I see the price tag. $2799 for a laptop you can get for over $1000 less. But wait, it has a really long-lasting battery!!

- Mark Teixeira might look like a retard, but he’s one of the more articulate baseball players I’ve ever heard. That’ll teach me not to judge a book by its cover.

- Nobody cares about 24 anymore, right? Ok, just checking.

- I can’t classify myself as an e-stalker anymore after seeing this thread. I would need to create my own 2 GB folder of Veronica Belmont pictures. Jesus Christ.

- GTA IV seems to have a reserved spot on every “Games of the Year” top 10 list, and it makes me nauseous. What a turd. Yes, turd. It doesn’t even deserve a curse word.

- I would sleep so much more if dreams were more vivid and easily remembered. You know you would too. Unless you’re one of those strange happy people.

- Microsoft is releasing a public beta of Windows 7 this Friday. I recommend downloading it, as from impressions it is basically a surprisingly stable Vista SP2. I wouldn’t doubt the stability. They don’t want to frustrate any more people into buying overpriced Apple products.

- The next person who says Zach Snyder is a talented director is getting a punch in the balls. He just took the comic book frames from 300 and strung them together in slow-motion. Even if Watchmen turns out good, I still won’t be impressed until he makes his second film not ripped from the pages of a graphic novel.

- Playing Civilization IV to Command and Conquer music is a transcendent experience.