Yet soon after midnight, OFFICIAL tweets — if such things exist — confirmed that Lee had indeed signed a 5-year, $115 million deal with the Phillies, with an easy vesting option for a 6th year. The Yankees had offered a bigger 6-year deal. The Rangers had offered an even bigger 6-year deal with an option for a 7th year. Yet Cliff Lee picked the Phillies. Why in God’s name would you choose to play in front of the animals in Philadelphia? When he starts losing it by his 4th or 5th year of the contract, they’re going to be booing his ass off the mound.

Apparently, that contract has a higher AAV than the Yankee offer. Maybe that’s it. Maybe he wants to beat the Yankees and he sees the Phillies as his best shot. Maybe he really likes Roy Halladay. The obvious parallel is LeBron James signing with the Miami Heat, considering the contract totals less than two other offers, but it’s not at all the same. There wasn’t an entire city with an attachment to Lee, considering he’s been on four teams in the past two seasons, and Halladay is the better pitcher. But this deal does create a seemingly unstoppable team, and I don’t see them struggling out of the gate like the Heat.

A rotation of four aces doesn’t have to share the ball like two and a half basketball stars. Halladay, Lee, Hamels, and Oswalt will take the balls on their respective days and dominate the NL to the tune of a combined 3.25 ERA. The NL East is wrapped up for the next two years, possibly three. Sandy Alderson needs to work his magic to set up the Mets to win in three years, not now. Sigh. This is awful.

But it’s almost worth it when I listen to Yankees fans on WFAN who want them to buy every single  free agent on the market crying. Maybe they shouldn’t have spit on Lee’s wife.

Ruben Amaro, Jr.:

It’s amazing what one season out of the AL East ghetto can do for a pitcher’s reputation. In 2010, Halladay pitched like he has for years now, only in the weaker NL and for the winningest team in baseball. His nine complete games and four shutouts equaled his output in 2009, and his ERA was just a bit lower, to go along with the best K/BB ratio of his career. He’s going to win the second Cy Young of his career, becoming the fifth player to win the award in both leagues. And of course, he threw the 18th perfect game in modern baseball history.

But all that was only a precursor. I knew the Phillies were going to make it back to the postseason and I wondered how Halladay could possibly outdo Cliff Lee’s performance for the Phillies last postseason. Halladay responded by throwing a no-hitter in his first postseason game, managing to completely overshadow a 10 K, 0 BB performance by Lee earlier in the day. He effortlessly disposed of a juggernaut Reds offense, with Jay Bruce being the only player to reach base on a walk. There were maybe two hard hit balls. Halladay was seemingly able to throw all four of his pitches in any count in any location. Much like his perfect game earlier this year, he made the improbable look routine and inevitable.

Halladay is the first pitcher since Nolan Ryan in 1973 to throw two no-hitters in the same season. He’s only the second pitcher to throw a postseason no-hitter — joining Don Larsen, who threw a perfect game in the 1956 World Series. The only way Halladay could top that is to throw one in the seventh game of the World Series against Lee.

So is there any doubt in anyone’s mind that Halladay is going to dominate the rest of the postseason? It’s not rational, but I don’t think I can envision a team scoring more than two runs off of him. Sure, it’s amazing what one season can do, but it’s even more incredible what one game can do.

Why does he have to pitch for the Phillies? Goddamn it.

The Braves were facing off against the Phillies B-team while the Padres and Giants were fighting over the NL West. If you didn’t have a horse in the race, you were most likely rooting for the Braves and Padres, because then the magical three-way tie would be accomplished, leading to Game 163 for the NL West between the Padres and Giants and then to a Game 164 (well, 163 for the Braves) between the loser of that game and the Braves for the Wild Card. It would be insanity.

But I didn’t trust the Padres. They had been free-falling in the month of September, and even though they were throwing out Mat Latos, he had obviously run out of gas a few weeks earlier after putting together an incredible barely-classified-as-sophomore season. I was rooting for the Braves to lose. I didn’t want to take any chances; I needed to make sure the Braves had to at least play one extra game to reach the playoffs.

Shockingly, the Phillies weren’t able to win a game where they used Danys Baez. The Braves came tantalizingly close to blowing an 8-2 lead, but unfortunately Billy Wagner was able to come in and shut the door. The Padres would have to win if we were to get extra baseball.

It was not to be. The Padres couldn’t even manage one measly run, losing 3-0, completing a devastating collapse. And yes it was a collapse. Everyone’s idea of a collapse has just been totally skewed by the once-in-a-generation collapse of the 2007 Mets. The Padres blew a 6.5 game lead in a little over a month — that’s pretty damn hard to do.

So one of the best stories in baseball this year has disappeared for good, while the Braves are back in the playoffs. FUCK THIS. Someone wake me up when the Braves are about to be eliminated by the Giants. Or if the Reds actually have a chance of beating the Phillies.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Crw85HvIFs

Phillies 2012: A Look Ahead – MLB Trade Rumors gives me hope that the Mets will be able to win the NL East in two years. Hopefully by then Fernando Martinez will be in the OF; Ruben Tejada or Wilmer Floree, 2B; Josh Thole, C; and Jenrry Mejia in the rotation. I wonder if that last sentence was at all grammatically correct.

Ken Blackwell, Author Of ‘Blueprint,’ Tries To Convince Jon Stewart That Obama Is A Tyrant, Fails (VIDEO) – I’m just kinda embarrassed for this guy. He wrote a book and he’s not even able to back it up. At all.

Team Fortress 2: 119th Update! – I haven’t played TF2 for quite a while, but it’s easily one of my favorite games of the past few years, and it’s certainly one that keeps on giving. Valve rocks. I need to load it up just to get my GRIZZLED VETERAN medal.

The Chase is on – Adam Rubin lobby that Chase Utley is “poised” to take the title of Most Feared Opponent of Mets Fans from Chipper Jones. I’d say that already happened. My mancrush is only proof of how terrified I am whenever he comes to the plate. For an opposing player to already have unofficially claimed naming rights to a section of a stadium is just impressive.

Apple shutting down Lala music service – I thought Microsoft was supposed to be the evil company? Now I can’t stream the albums The A.V. Club reviews? Fuck you, Steve Jobs.

Blame The Superstar Syndrome – Why David Wright was getting booed. Or why Mike Francesa was saying to trade him a year and a half ago. Or why sometimes I end up talking about trading Jose Reyes.

Batman 3 Release Date Set – I was really tempted to make this its own post. But all I have to say is July 20, 2012. I hope it doesn’t suck; I don’t want Christopher Nolan to go out on a bad note before the world ends.

The half-billion dollar shopping spree paid off. The Yankees have opened their new monstrous stadium with a World Series Championship. I still can’t believe SI picked the Mets instead. How could have anyone picked a team other than one with All-Star caliber players at almost every single position, a decent pitching staff, and the best closer anyone will ever see? Oh well, hindsight is 20/20 and all that bullshit.

If Game 6 wasn’t over when Hideki Matsui hit the double that made it 7-1 in the 5th, the Phillies were buried when Chase Utley struck out with two on to end the 7th. So Utley has to share the World Series HR record with Reggie Jackson, unfortunately. Ryan Howard did manage to put himself on top of the World Series record book, though, with his 13th strikeout of the series. Without him, the Phillies had almost no chance to pull out the series; only Utley going apeshit kept the Phillies going this long. I told you Utley was awesome.

I was hoping for a Game 7, but five days’ rest wasn’t enough for Pedro, apparently. Meanwhile, Andy Pettitte gave the Yankees all they could have hoped for on three days’ rest. Mike Francesa proven wrong. And a 41-pitch non-save for Mariano Rivera? No problem.

I wonder what Mike Mussina is doing right now.

How did I ever decide to root for the Phillies?

Actually, in practice I’ve been seemingly going back and forth by player this entire World Series.

Cliff Lee? Wow, he’s a pimp, I want him to throw a shutout.

Jimmy Rollins? Shut the fuck up and strike out, please.

A-Rod? You fucking suck. Six Ks? Is Kate Hudson on the rag?

Chase Utley? Oh my God, you truly are my forbidden crush.

Mariano Rivera? No way I want to see the Phillies beat you.

Shane Victorino? Die in a Hawaiian volcanic eruption.

Perhaps I need to take this advice, and just look at the bright side of each possible outcome. If the Yankees lose, A-Rod still doesn’t have a ring, Yankee fans turn on every possible player, and the Yankees lose any possible claim at team of the decade. If the Phillies lose, they won’t be the first NL team to repeat in over 30 years, Philly doesn’t become the new Boston, and Jimmy Rollins shuts up.

As for comments on the actual game tonight, it was another pitchers’ duel that this time fell on the Yankees’ side. Pedro’s line was dangerously close to my prediction (three runs instead of four), and A.J. Burnett pitched a great, if not brilliant, game. And then of course Mariano Rivera threw 39 pitches in another ho-hum two-inning postseason save. That was the 14th two-inning save of his postseason career, and the 33rd time he pitched at least 2 innings in any situation. Piece of cake.

Succeeding Rivera as Yankee closer will be the worst job in the world.

Cliff Lee looked like didn’t even break a sweat tonight. He made a behind-the-back play later in the game, and also nonchalantly tagged Posada on the ass on another play. He struck out 10 while walking none (the first man to do that since 1903), and only lost his shutout due to a Jimmy Rollins throwing error. I do question the wisdom of keeping him out there for 122 pitches when he has to come back on three days’ rest (possibly twice), but that’s what Charlie Manuel does. This is the manager who left Pedro Martinez in a game for 130 pitches in a regular-season game.

The only man who had Lee figured out was Derek Jeter, of course. A-Rod didn’t fair quite as well, striking out three times and laying the foundation for imminent bashing in the New York Post. The rest of the team didn’t do much better, with the lineup behind Jeter only accounting for three hits. Lee was simply dominant throughout, and the Yankees crowd was consequently subdued almost the entire night.

The supporting star behind Lee was Chase Utley, who supplied enough offense to beat the Yankees by himself. Two solo home runs — I told you he was awesome. If he wins the World Series MVP, I hope it’s sponsored by this:

The man would have fit nicely on the Yankee teams of the 1930s, I’m sure.

So now the story turns to Pedro Martinez pitching tomorrow, and my prediction is for a six-inning, four-run performance. You’re not in the NL anymore, old man! The big question is which A.J. Burnett will show up, especially since having to start Jose Molina isn’t exactly going to help the Yankees’ lineup top tonight’s pathetic performance. I hate to say must-win, but I’m going to say it. If the Yankees lose to Pedro tomorrow, they are in the proverbial shit.

(Thanks to Hootie on GAF for the GIF.)

When the inevitability of this matchup became clear, I had no doubt in my mind that I’d be rooting against the Phillies. My allegiance would be with New York City in the battle against the shithole that is Philadelphia. Philly might have Rocky and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, but fuck them, I thought. Their fanbase is probably the worst group of human beings collected this side of an African dictatorship. And they’re not too bright, either.

This is not to mention the team itself. I’ll just quote myself here:

Shane Victorino is a little piece of shit Hawaiian who plays dirty; Jimmy Rollins runs his mouth and wins MVPs due to it, even when he doesn’t deserve it; Ryan Howard is an overrated slugger who strikes out on a lefty slider seemingly every time I see him at the plate; and Brett Myers beats his wife and puts his kid in a Confederate flag shirt.

The Phillies advancing through the postseason on the back of Ryan Howard — while Chase Utley throws away double play balls — is a personal nightmare for me. Utley is a better baseball player than Howard, yet he will probably never win an MVP award, and everyone is on Howard’s jock due to his performance in nine games. Cole Hamels received the same treatment last year and he turned in a down year in 2009 and has now been supplanted by a 38-year-old in the rotation. Pedro Martinez may be no ordinary 38-year-old, but it’s still quite a shift in one season. The small sample size of the postseason means jack shit.

This brings us to the Yankees, and Alex Rodriguez’s tale of redemption. This is where I start thinking it’d be fantastic if the Yankees lost. Who wouldn’t want to see A-Rod fail miserably in the World Series and watch the entire Yankees Universeâ„¢ turn on him once again? I get chills imagining the boos that would cascade down if he grounded into a double play to end Game 7. Isn’t it beautiful to envision the typical Yankee fan turning on a player just as quickly as he was deified? Two series may have seemingly wiped out any bitterness of postseasons past, but a 2-20 performance by A-Rod culminating in a World Series loss would only bring back the cries for A-Rod’s head. He would have proved himself yet again to not be a True Yankeeâ„¢.

Is hope for this outcome enough for me to root for the Phillies? It just might be. You may be asking why I hate A-Rod so much, and it’s a reasonable question. It’s not the money, because every baseball player makes too much money. It’s not his sexual history, because anyone who has sex with Madonna has to be scarred for life. It’s that everything, EVERYTHING he does looks rehearsed and devoid of true joy. Maybe it’s just his face — and my urge to punch it — that clouds my judgment, but I see him as some soulless entity who was created solely to be very, very good at baseball.

An addition consideration is that perhaps I still hate the Braves more than the Phillies. Sure, the Phillies embarrassed the Mets in 2007 and 2008, but that was just as much (if not more) a product of the Mets collapsing than it was of the Phillies rallying. Should I hate the Phillies for the Mets’ bullpen being worthless last year? Or for Jose Reyes forgetting how to hit in September of 2007? Maybe I truly appreciate the team the Phillies have put together, even if I hate them. The organization didn’t sit on its hands after a World Series championship — they went out and got Raul Ibanez (which I thought was a bad move, admittedly), and then during the season picked up Cliff Lee and Pedro Martinez for peanuts. They built a championship team without shelling out almost half a billion dollars for three players.

I didn’t know where I’d end up at the end of this post, but it looks like I’m falling on the side of the Phillies. I don’t even know myself anymore.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nOQJN8FrxtI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1uqOZGBois

The ALCS is supposed to start tomorrow, but somehow I can’t see it getting kicked off, considering it’s been raining all day and the precipitation looks to continue for the next couple of days. So not only will my tennis lesson on Saturday be canceled — shut up — I might not have a game to watch that day, either. Not to mention it’s chilly as fuck for mid-October in New York. What the hell is up with that?

[Insert obligatory anecdotal GLOBAL WARMING IS BULLSHIT comment.]

My other baseball annoyance of the day was arguing with a Phillies fan about the MVP of their team. It hasn’t been anyone but Chase Utley for four years. Sure, Ryan Howard loves his HR and RBIs, but Utley does EVERYTHING — especially getting on base in front of Howard. I need to find out a way to look up how many times Howard hit Utley in. Baseball-Reference, don’t fail me now.