- David Wright’s 2009 was an anomaly. And I still love him. I’m ashamed that I didn’t have enough faith in him to fight off all bidders for him in my auction league. FORGIVE ME.

- Albert Pujols proved once again he is not of this earth.

- Roy Halladay is going to absolutely roll over the National League. 7 IP, 1 R, 9 K will be a normal line for him this year.

- Jason Heyward is truly the Messiah. Goddamn it.

- Mark Buehrle is able to do whatever he wants on the baseball field.

On a side note, having to watch a commercial before watching a one minute highlight is fucking bullshit. The NHL allows all sorts of highlights on YouTube, why can’t the MLB? I guess because the latter is a real league.

- The Royals are unbelievably awful and Zack Greinke — if he does win another Cy Young — will do it in spite of the pure ineptitude around him.

- Livan Hernandez — before yesterday — led active pitchers in Opening Day starts. How the fuck did that happen?

- Pitching like dog shit doesn’t hurt your extension negotiations, Josh Beckett.

- Tiger Woods tried to ruin the most holy day of the year. Cheat on your wife all you want, just don’t have a bullshit press conference on Opening Day, douchebag.

- C.C. Sabathia still sucks in April.

- The Mets bullpen is capable of holding a 1-run lead for 3 1/3 innings, something I’m pretty sure they weren’t able to do once the entire 2008 season.

- Hanley Ramirez is an absolute beast who deserves to be watched by more than 4,000 people per game.

- Ken Griffey Jr. just looks better in a Mariners uniform. And plays better, apparently.

- The Tigers are on their way to another embarrassing season, keeping pace with the performance of their home city’s industry.

- Cliff Lee was obviously a fluke.

- God punished MLB schedulers and Red Sox fans for forcing the Rays to start their season in Boston, even though they beat them for the pennant last season.

- I have a massive East Coast bias. Or at least an “East of the Mississippi” bias.

- My fantasy teams fucking suck.

Unrelated college basketball-related note: Obama was right.