Now all that has turned to fucking shit. David Wright is back to being totally fucking cold. Jason Bay is getting WORSE. Carlos Beltran is clearly not 100%, yet he’s put in CF even while he’s wearing a goddamn knee brace. There’s a guy named Angel Pagan who played CF the entire first half and was one of the best fucking CF in the National League, but because Beltran has a massive ego and expects to play CF, he can’t be moved to RF to accommodate the player who’s NOT WEARING A FUCKING KNEE BRACE. Angel Pagan has EASILY been the second-best player on the team, and probably the most consistent. At least Jeff Francoeur isn’t playing.

But maybe that’s why Jason Bay feels the need to stand in for him? To generate the lost suckage? Holy fucking shit. 0-6 with 4 Ks. Remember last year when we all wondered where David Wright’s power went? His SLG at the end of the season was .447. Jason Bay’s is currently .403. Brett Gardner’s SLG is .399. BRETT GARDNER. This is NOT a guy renowned for his power stroke. This Bay contract is turning out to be a bigger disaster than I expected. Sure, he can bounce back in the next two months, but he’s not going to get any better over the length of the contract. This is BAD.

Oh, and I got to watch Oliver Perez pitch tonight out the bullpen. I want him to pull a Carlos Zambrano and just get himself kicked off the team. Somehow he didn’t blow the game, but he came pretty close, with only the D-Backs total ineptitude saving his worthless ass. Less than worthless. Please Ollie, be gangsta and stab someone else shitty on the team, preferably Alex Cora. You’ll be suspended indefinitely, and hopefully Cora will never play baseball again.

Can I even manage to spew any bile Jerry Manuel’s way? He did double-switch Ike Davis out of the game so he could move Alex Cora to 1B and Luis Castillo to 2B. That was totally awesome. And he keeps starting Barajas, who has a OBP of .265. Sure, he hit a home run. WHOOP-DE-FREAKING-DO. Maybe if he didn’t, I would have been able to go to sleep two pointless hours ago instead of watching 14 pathetic innings of baseball.

I hate this team.

Anyhow, hit the jump for baseball number goodness.

5/16

Oliver Perez: 27 K, 28 BB, $12 million. Carl Pavano: 34 K, 7 BB, $7 million.

I ripped Pavano as much as anyone for the shit he pulled with the Yankees, but he has been legitimately good this year (outside of his last start after this post, naturally). Perez’s contract was, is, and will forever be terrible.

5/18 (belated 5/17)

Brett Gardner: 17 SB, 1 CS. Baltimore Orioles: 9 SB, 10 CS.

This is me just making sure everyone knows how awesome of a base stealer Gardner is. He’s really, really awesome. At this point, he has taken away the title of “New York’s Most Exciting Player” away from Reyes. Shit, Angel Pagan is his closest competition at the moment, not Reyes.

5/18

Pedro, 1997-2003: 1408 IP, .940 WHIP, 213 ERA+. Koufax, 1962-66: 1377 IP, .926 WHIP, 167 ERA+.

I’m going to whip out FIP here. Pedro over his years: 2.39, 3.40, 1.39 (!), 2.17, 1.61, 2.24, 2.21. Koufax over his years: 2.54, 1.88, 1.74, 2.04, 1.73. Basically, other than the 3.40 in 1998, Pedro was as amazing a pitcher as Koufax was. Only Pedro pitched in one of the highest-scoring eras in baseball history. In Fenway Park. In the AL East. Koufax pitched in the greatest pitching era since the dead-ball era in Dodger Stadium. This is what accounts for the MASSIVE discrepancy in ERA+. In case you don’t know, that 213 ERA+ means Pedro was 113% better than the average pitcher (67% for Koufax).

I just want to get across that Pedro Martinez was better than Sandy Koufax. But the old people that still think otherwise don’t read this blog, unfortunately.

5/19

No-hitters by people with one hand: 1. No-hitters by New York Mets: 0.

Jim Abbott > Tom Seaver.

5/21

Ubaldo Jimenez: 8-1, 0.99 ERA, 58 K. Zack Greinke, 2009, thru 9 starts: 7-1, 0.82 ERA, 73 K.

I remember many people saying Greinke had already locked up the AL Cy Young at this point last year, but considering the way Roy Halladay is pitching (and his team), Jimenez has some work left ahead of him.

5/21

Pedro Martinez, 2000: 1.74 ERA. Roger Clemens, 2000, 2nd in AL: 3.70 ERA.

Almost a full 2-run difference. That season Pedro’s ERA+ was 291. In closing, Pedro Martinez in his prime was the greatest pitcher baseball has ever seen.