I don’t even know who to credit for the above pic. I saw it on GAF, but I’m 99.9% sure it didn’t originate there. And if you want the explanation: a “psychic” octopus predicted that Spain would win (among 7 other correct predictions).

So yeah, there was a lot of sex in Spain last night — especially in the soccer players’ hotel rooms and houses. Some of it even spilled out on camera. It must be nice to be the king of the sport the entire world plays, admittedly.

That final pretty much sucked, though. I guess I was rooting for Spain, but it’s not like I felt anything when they finally scored in extra time. The Dutch were playing ugly, rough football and the Spaniards were flopping all over the place. Who was I supposed to root for? Wait, did I say football? That probably happened because I’m regurgitating things I’ve read elsewhere. I was just glad it didn’t come to penalty kicks.

But I’m happy it’s done so we can get to the baseball equivalent of penalties: the Home Run Derby. Not like there’s anything else on.

While watching the past few days, I naturally wondered why there were so many dark-skinned players on the Netherlands team, so I jumped up on Wikipedia to figure out how in God’s name Randall Simon was playing for them, and ended up learning that Curacao is part of the Kingdom of the Netherlands. The more you know. Who the hell has ever bothered to learn which countries all those insignificant Caribbean islands belong to, anyway? The team should really be referred to as the Kingdom of the Netherlands, though. This setup is like Puerto Ricans playing for the United States.

So all this makes me wonder how much people in the EUROPEAN country of the Netherlands care about this massive upset. My dad just informed me that a Dutchman has been in his office for a little while, and the guy doesn’t know the slightest bit about baseball. I can’t help imagining that extends to much of the country. Nonetheless, I’m sure they will be proud in dismantling such a baseball giant. Meanwhile, I’m sure the entire country of the Dominican Republic is taking this to heart. What else do they have? Maybe next time they should make sure their players are practicing over the winter. I guess I should laugh now, since I’m half Puerto Rican. Pretty sure I’m supposed to hate them. Bahaha, Dominicans! Especially the Cubs reliever (Carlos Marmol) who choked even though he wasn’t in his Cubs uniform!

I like how this is nowhere to be found on ESPN’s webpage. Do they hate the MLB network that much?

Edit: Nevermind, it’s up now.