- A sign that you should turn gay: You start talking to two cute girls, and somehow end up with a dude’s number because he claims to know every poker game within 10 miles.*

- Reason #2451 the Academy Awards are a joke: Clint Mansell has never been nominated. Let’s ignore the fact that his Requiem for a Dream theme, “Lux Aeterna”,  has been reorchestrated and remixed and used in approximately 100 trailers, but after THAT, the Academy still ignored his work in The Fountain. How do you not recognize this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihF_aXi-Huk

- The Knicks DIDN’T draft a piece-of-shit European this year? Maybe there is hope after all.

- The key feature of The Matrix on Blu-ray is Laurence Fishburne’s pores.

- I think people forget how amazing of a hitter Frank Thomas was in the beginning of his career. First eight seasons = 182 OPS+. He was Albert Pujols without the glove.

- I don’t think it’s too early to get excited about Christopher Nolan’s next film, Inception. Sci-fi plot, DiCaprio in the lead, and a $200 million budget? I am fucking there.

- I’m only halfway through it, but Freaks and Geeks is already one of the best shows I’ve ever watched.

- Half the cars on Long Island just need to spontaneously explode. We need bullet trains, goddamn it.

- Bud Light really is a terrible, terrible beer in every conceivable way. I was sitting under the sun in 85 degree heat, in jeans, and it still wasn’t satisfying.

-The Mets should start paying me to attend games. I’m now 5-0 this year. Just transfer a few thousand bucks from Oliver Perez’s contract to my checking account, please.

- Prince won.

*Replace “you” with “I”