I never thought I could be so torn — or so prideful — when it comes to wanting to be right. I mercilessly ripped the Jeff Francoeur-Ryan Church trade, but yet Francoeur has been the perfect shot in the arm for a team that desperately needed it. I can’t describe how painful it was to write that sentence. I still believe he won’t keep this RBI per game up, because there’s nothing to suggest he will, but what if he does? I assume at one point I will accept I was wrong, but such a realization is not going to come anytime soon. It’s fucking JEFF FRANCOEUR. He sucks! The elation I should feel when he hits a home run is almost outweighed by the shame I feel due to ripping the trade. I can’t help but ask myself, “Is Omar Minaya actually a better GM than I give him credit for?” And then Monday’s press conference happened.

There’s little point in rehashing the ridiculous story that has already been blown out of proportion by the New York media that no doubt wants to show solidarity with Adam Rubin, but it’s just another example of how this Mets organization can’t do the simplest tasks without falling over itself. While not as embarrassing as the way Willie Randolph was fired, calling out a beat writer while announcing the firing of your VP of Player Development is just…insane? Bizarre? Petty? All three?

But such a fiasco hasn’t seemed to affect the major league team, and why should it? I hate it when the media acts like such a front office issue might actually manifest itself in the play of major leaguers who don’t give a shit about this garbage. The only thing that such a PR disaster reflects is a poorly-run organization, which can negatively affect a major league team, but only in very overarching ways — such as terrible contracts, a subpar farm system, and terrible medical personnel.

All these grips fade away — hopefully — when Johan Santana takes the mound. I want him to have a strong second-half, not for this season, but for my own psyche going into next year. If I can’t believe Johan can dominate, what hope do the Mets have for 2010? Especially if the Phillies trade for Cliff Lee.

How? How did that really happen? And why the hell did he throw the ball to second base? The Mets had the game won on a clutch double by David Wright in the top of the 8th off of Mariano Rivera. Maybe it happens more often now, but you DON’T GIVE AWAY GAMES YOU WIN OFF OF MARIANO RIVERA. David Wright proved himself superior to A-Rod, but the latter was the one who got mobbed by his teammates at the end of the game. Because of Luis Fucking Castillo, who I don’t think ANY Mets fan wanted on the team this year.

I was just starting to warm up to him. The only person I knew who hated Castillo more than me was my dad. We both did not want to see his two worthless knees in a Mets uniform in 2009. But then he actually started off well.  Then he sucked again. And then he started looking decent again. And then this happened. This epic embarrassment of a choke. Get him the fuck out of my face. My dad and I were supposed to go to the game tomorrow together, but he’s so disgusted that he told me to take my mom instead.

I got nothing else. There’s not much more to say. How much can you say about a ball that pops out of a glove to cost a game? I do know that Orlando Hudson would’ve caught that.

I’ll leave you with this. Even I laughed at this. At this point, I’m not sure what else I can do.

Benny Hill-ified