- I feel like such a massive douchenozzle for ever doubting David Wright. I didn’t draft him with either of my first-round draft picks in fantasy, and he was gone by both my second picks. And then I allowed him to go for $33 in my auction draft. That actually is decently high, but I paid more for Prince Fielder. What a fuckface I am.

- I admit it: I’ve never gotten the appeal of the “Auto-Tune the News” thing.

- I just saw some people describe the first two seasons of Friday Night Lights as soap opera-y. Sorry, I only watch soap operas with amazing production values that air on AMC.

- Speaking of which, I think I’m going to end up buying this poster.

- It’s kinda amazing how FIFA consists of more national teams than their are member states in the United Nations. Especially considering how much a joke FIFA seems to be.

- It took until I was 24 years old for me to get my first, “I used to have a crush on you.” I feel like that’s kinda sad.

- Red Dead Redemption convinced me to tell myself not to buy any games for a while (except for Starcraft 2). Steam constantly makes such a pronouncement extremely difficult to adhere to. Really, Left 4 Dead 2 for 10 bucks? Yet I resisted. Perhaps I am developing some semblance of willpower.

- I think we can all agree that The Shield has one of the best series finales of all-time. But it also has one of the best series premieres. What other show(s) can say that?

- Do not slam your putter length-wise into the ground, no matter how half-assed you might think the slam will be.

- Girls really do dig guys with iPhones – I witnessed it firsthand. Maybe I should carry around my iPod Touch and pretend it’s an iPhone.

- INCEPTION is less than three weeks away. I wonder how many (more) wet dreams I’ll have about it between now and July 16th.

- In case you were wondering: yes, oil is still pouring into the Gulf of Mexico. I say we nuke the site from orbit, it’s the only way to be sure. I’m so original.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34mHZgP9vkc

- I haven’t played the Starcraft II beta in weeks. And I’ve procrastinated from writing a blog post about it for over a month. I’m just reminded of why I didn’t play the original as much I convince myself sometimes — because the game is totally unforgiving and makes me want to smash my mouse into my desk over and over. I don’t feel like watching replays to be competitive.

- Ike Davis is the New York Mets savior of the moment. With two hits, he’s at least off to a better start than Fernando Martinez last year. They still won’t finish above .500.

- The Twitter consensus is in: The Bourne Identity is the best Bourne movie. Paul Greengrass must be devastated by this news.

- Chuck probably should have just ended with its episode two weeks ago, unless somehow the last batch of episodes are extremely awesome. But I guess it’s NBC’s fault. Like always.

- I am a scrub-burning machine. While friends drink way too much around me, my grittiness and determination when it comes to sending smoke into the atmosphere is unparalleled. So scrappy.

- Someone I follow on Google Reader keeps sharing articles about Inception. I scroll by all of them because I might as well stay as spoiler-free as possible if I’m already set on seeing it opening weekend.

- Albums from The Black Keys, The National, The Gaslight Anthem, and some other bands I never really listened to leaked today or yesterday or something. I will listen to them and post the best shit in resurrected Song of the Week posts.

- I still haven’t watched last week’s Lost episode. And I thought I enjoyed the previous episode. I guess not?

- The leaked iPhone prototype — combined with iPhone OS 4.0 — seems pretty freaking sweet. Come to Verizon, please.

- LeBron James is really good at basketball. I need to work on my vertical leap just in case he comes to the Knicks. Don’t want to miss the bandwagon.

- I can’t remember ever seriously using index cards in my entire academic career. Yet I recently made a set just to learn some world capitals for pub trivia. What am I doing with my life.

But what spurred this post was browsing the internet with a newly-installed Firefox, visiting my own site, and seeing that the Song of the Week posts had that missing Flash plugin symbol. It had never even crossed my mind that those little things were Flash. I mean, of course they’re Flash, but I’ve never thought about this stuff before the iPhone and iPod Touch. I have an iPod Touch and I never even noticed it before — maybe because I barely use it. Combined with the now daily animated GIFs until I receive what I rightly deserve, it must take an obscene amount of time to load the site and then some of the posts end up being worthless anyway. On the other hand, I think stuff I post can wait until someone is in front of a computer.

I arrived at my aunt’s house shortly after 1 to help her figure out why the Spanish speech projects her students had put on flash drives wouldn’t play for her. That turned out to be an easy enough fix — she had to open the flash drives to look at the contents, so she could manually select the Audacity project files. She was probably clicking “Play” when autoplay came up, and it would try to play the Audacity file with WMP or some shit. Just a guess. What’s important here is that in the middle of this activity, I noticed an unopened iPod Touch sitting next to the laptop. How could that not catch someone’s eye? Apparently she received it free two months earlier when she bought a MacBook for her son (my cousin). Not a bad deal.

I continued cleaning up the messy computer: deleting programs, and telling others not to automatically begin their retarded processes on startup. Meanwhile, I continued to eye the iPod Touch, as I can’t help but be mesmerized by a shiny new piece of hardware. Apple products may be overpriced, but no one can deny that they’re almost all striking pieces of hardware. The Touch is half the thickness of my 2.5 year old 80GB iPod and has a screen double the size. It’s impressive before you even turn it on.

As I waited for the installation of Vista Service Pack 1 to finish (yes, I really helped my aunt out!), I mentioned how curious I was about the iPod Touch. I admittedly have been somewhat interested in the iPhone, but the monthly price would naturally keep any unemployed person away. I didn’t realize how easily that curious comment would be construed as wanting the iPod Touch. My aunt immediately replied with saying I could have it, and I was fairly shocked. The natural reaction to protest such a gift was somewhat weighed down by the thought of actually being able to mess around with such a gadget. I tried to tell her the various cool things she could do with it, but she wasn’t having any of it. I knew her son already had one, so I asked if her daughter (other cousin) would want it, and she insisted she would not be interested. I can’t say I put up the biggest fight at this point. I was getting an iPod Touch for Geek Squad work!

I didn’t think of the consequences of having such an awesome piece of hardware in my possession. Ignorance is bliss, and now the thought of having all the functionality of this iPod Touch practically all the time is already getting to me. The phone part of it barely fits into the equation. As I have already posted, I could check Fangraphs with the greatest of ease any time! I could watch Mike Tyson talking about stomping on children’s testicles whenever I wish! I could play games and annoyingly post my high score to Twitter every time! The possibilities are endless.

As for right now, I’m still giddy messing around with the few free apps I’ve downloaded. I’ve also uploaded some pictures and a converted episode of Peep Show (thanks, Handbrake) just to see how they’d look. It’s pretty much a technological marvel, but the iPhone is obviously on an entirely higher level, so having an iPod Touch only makes one realize how awesome having an iPhone would be. Goddamn it. Fuck you, Steve Jobs. Let Verizon in on your shit so maybe I could pay less than $75/mo for a reasonable iPhone plan.

Steve Jobs to me: Get a job, douchebag.

- Live win probability and win probability graphs.
- Live box score and play-by-play data.
- Basic/Advanced/Value stats for any baseball player.
- Minor league stats.
- Historical game data going back to 1974.

Fuck me in the ass, holy shit. Just look at this beautiful stuff:

I just came in my nerd pants. How much is an iPhone again? I need 24/7 access to baseball stats in such a pretty and informative package!