I really expected to be more drunk tonight after the shots of Jose Cuervo with Tabasco sauce I downed tonight. Perhaps the latter combats the effect of the former, who knows. I nonetheless did have a fun Mardi Gras celebration, complete with aforementioned shots and Jumbalaya. And now I will complete it by adding a post to my blog in which I explore the feelings and thoughts I have regarding the relatively massive collection of entertainment I have in my room.

I have a lot of DVDs. Somewhere near 150. Actually, it’s closer to 350, since a lot of the DVDs I have are actually TV sets. I’m just going by my DVD Aficionado account with these numbers. It’s a lot. There are certainly people out there with many times more, but for a not-filthy-rich 23-year-old, it’s a pretty big collection, I think. My Blu-ray collection is lifting off the ground too, starting the whole cycle again.

And movies and TV shows on physical media aren’t the only form of entertainment I like to spend too much money on; I like my video games as well. Buying games on Steam is probably the worst, since I can’t resell them. Even books — do I need a library of books that I will probably never read again?

All this shit, all these movies and games and books — I like buying them because I like sharing them with people. I like having the ability to pull these things off my shelf and give them to someone who’s interested. I want to be able to pull Curb Your Enthusiasm out and expose a person to its greatness for the first time. I want to be able to lend A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again to someone unacquainted with David Foster Wallace. I want to watch The Godfather with the one person I know who hasn’t seen it.

These opportunities just seem to be drying up. Perhaps because I still live at home and I do not wish to have anyone spend their time in my bedroom smack dab in the middle of my parents’ house. Maybe because most of my friends have seen a lot of the stuff I’ve seen. Maybe because no one fucking cares, including myself. I find myself with a collection of shit that I truly have no need for. I want to sell most of it.

I think this all might be tainted by the lost hope of wanting to share all of it with someone, or maybe just the happiness that person brought. I would have liked to watch everything with this person, but at the same time I would have been happy just being with the person without any of the shit around me. Either way, without that person, I hate the pile of shit around me. I hate all of it and would trade all of it for her. But that won’t change anything — except my bank account. But maybe that’s enough?

I have the insatiable urge to know as much as possible about everything fucking thing. I want to be knowledgeable about movies. I want to play as many games as possible so I can say I’ve played them. I want to read voraciously both for my own knowledge and also for conversational purposes. So I don’t go back to stuff I’ve already experienced often. I am all about new experiences (apparently not when it comes to weekend hangouts, though). So why should I own all these things if I’m not sharing them? I have no goddamn idea.