I’m thankful for:

Seeing my hammered friend slowly walk up to a couple of high school girls with his arms held up in a muscle pose on Thanksgiving Eve.
My innate ability to be better than most of you at video games.
Receiving a NES when I was 3 years old — maybe that’s why I am an XBLA savant.
Daft Punk doing the TRON: Legacy soundtrack.
Dogs bringing a smile to my face every time I see one.
David Foster Wallace’s essay collections.
Chobani Greek Yogurt which I could eat all day to sustain me like Michael Westen on Burn Notice.
Baseball stats that allow me to prove people wrong when they spout garbage.
Having a working penis.
Growing up in a town with four seasons, near both near a coast and a world-class city.
Christopher Nolan putting out a blockbuster every couple of a years that I enjoy.
My bank account having money in it.
The wonder that is air travel, for at least one reason.
Netflix Instant Watch being an amazing service.
Rex Ryan and Mark Sanchez living up to the hype of Hard Knocks.
25 mph over the speed limit being the cruising speed on the Southern State Parkway.
The increasing prevalence of Wi-Fi hotspots.
Having a multitude of friends going all the way back to elementary school.
Alcohol making everything more entertaining.
Being a kid before dodgeball was banned from schools, allowing me to throw big balls in kids’ faces.
Never experiencing any serious health-related hardship.
David Wright, a player who has given the Mets 36 wins of value already in his career.
All the food I will be having this extended weekend, starting today.
Tyler Clippard winning 11 games last season, most of them for my roto fantasy team.
Having working plumbing and a toilet for reading magazines on.
Apple for HAHA just kidding.
Still having some semblance of sanity.