It’s amazing what one season out of the AL East ghetto can do for a pitcher’s reputation. In 2010, Halladay pitched like he has for years now, only in the weaker NL and for the winningest team in baseball. His nine complete games and four shutouts equaled his output in 2009, and his ERA was just a bit lower, to go along with the best K/BB ratio of his career. He’s going to win the second Cy Young of his career, becoming the fifth player to win the award in both leagues. And of course, he threw the 18th perfect game in modern baseball history.

But all that was only a precursor. I knew the Phillies were going to make it back to the postseason and I wondered how Halladay could possibly outdo Cliff Lee’s performance for the Phillies last postseason. Halladay responded by throwing a no-hitter in his first postseason game, managing to completely overshadow a 10 K, 0 BB performance by Lee earlier in the day. He effortlessly disposed of a juggernaut Reds offense, with Jay Bruce being the only player to reach base on a walk. There were maybe two hard hit balls. Halladay was seemingly able to throw all four of his pitches in any count in any location. Much like his perfect game earlier this year, he made the improbable look routine and inevitable.

Halladay is the first pitcher since Nolan Ryan in 1973 to throw two no-hitters in the same season. He’s only the second pitcher to throw a postseason no-hitter — joining Don Larsen, who threw a perfect game in the 1956 World Series. The only way Halladay could top that is to throw one in the seventh game of the World Series against Lee.

So is there any doubt in anyone’s mind that Halladay is going to dominate the rest of the postseason? It’s not rational, but I don’t think I can envision a team scoring more than two runs off of him. Sure, it’s amazing what one season can do, but it’s even more incredible what one game can do.

Why does he have to pitch for the Phillies? Goddamn it.

Why did Chad Pennington have to break his shoulder for the 25th time? There’s no way he would have been able to cut up the Jets’ defense like that. One of the long bombs Henne threw would have died halfway to its intended destination if it had left Pennington’s arm.

In Mark Sanchez news, the USC rookie had another solid game. I don’t quite know why ESPN was sucking his cock so much during and after a 12-24, 172-yard performance (actually I do, he’s so dreamy), but at least he didn’t throw any inceptions or fumble the ball in his own end zone. He played a smart game for the most part, and aired it out pretty damn well when he needed to. This should have been enough for the REX RYAN DEFENSEâ„¢, but they didn’t hold up their side of the deal. Both times the Jets took the lead in the 4th quarter, they couldn’t wait to give it back!

Disappointing result tonight aside, I haven’t been this optimistic about the future of the Jets in a long time. The Braylon Edwards trade already paid dividends tonight with his absolutely phenomenal almost-touchdown catch, and Sanchez is only going to get better. Sure, it’s frustrating to see the defense play so shitty in a game they should have won — especially after their impressive performance against a much better offense last week — but I’m going to chalk it up to the learning process. Maybe the REX RYAN DEFENSEâ„¢ just needs a bit more time to truly be in Beast Mode every single week.

I’m still more upset about the Phillies winning their NLDS tonight. Douchebags.

Yesterday, the Cardinals were put out of their misery. Today we witnessed the end of both ALDS series. One sweep was expected, what with Andy Pettitte matching up against Carl Pavano, but I can’t imagine many people saw the Red Sox blowing a 5-2 lead through 7 innings. The combination of Billy Wagner and Jonathon Papelbon gave up 4 runs in the final two innings, forcing Massholes to leave the stadium in a state that only could have lead to many racial slurs being shouted and wives and girlfriends getting beaten.

Going into the playoffs I’m sure many people figured the Twins would get swept, but both the Red Sox and Cardinals going down in flames has to be a surprise to most baseball fans — and ESPN experts. Last year, everyone picked the Cubs to roll over the Dodgers and we all saw how that turned out. I really shouldn’t bother posting the following, since it happens every year in every sport, but it’s fun nonetheless. They get paid for these predictions!

It’s kinda amazing: the two AL closers who are supposed to be close to Mariano Rivera’s level both failed spectacularly in a past few days. Today was the first time Jonathon Papelbon ever let up a run in the postseason, but it would have been fine if he only let up a run (instead of three). The moron threw 26 straight fastballs. I guess he was attempting his best Rivera impression, only without the success. As for the other closer, the guy who is always seemingly overlooked and underrated, Joe Nathan, showed why he’s not worth a second look. Holy shit, he sucked. Yeah, yeah small sample size, but he still sucked. He single-handedly made A-Rod amazing in the postseason! I thought A-Rod sucked? I guess that means Nathan sucks more. Simple logic here, people.

Totally awesome note: A-Rod has a higher postseason OPS than Derek Jeter.

Meanwhile, Rivera pitched 3.2 scoreless innings in the series, notching 7 strikeouts in the process. Somehow this is not surprising, considering we’ve all come to the consensus that he’s an android from the future.

So all that’s left is a Phillies-Rockies series that is in the middle of its 3rd game as I type this — which reminds me of how moronic the scheduling today was. Who’s idea was it to play a game in Denver at 7 pm local time? Because when I think of baseball, I think of 30 degree weather. And playing a game involving a West Coast team at noon eastern time — meaning people in California needed to wake up at 9 am on a Sunday to watch playoff baseball — is just a dick move. Bud Selig is a senile old man who has no business running a multi-billion dollar business, ugh.

While watching the past few days, I naturally wondered why there were so many dark-skinned players on the Netherlands team, so I jumped up on Wikipedia to figure out how in God’s name Randall Simon was playing for them, and ended up learning that Curacao is part of the Kingdom of the Netherlands. The more you know. Who the hell has ever bothered to learn which countries all those insignificant Caribbean islands belong to, anyway? The team should really be referred to as the Kingdom of the Netherlands, though. This setup is like Puerto Ricans playing for the United States.

So all this makes me wonder how much people in the EUROPEAN country of the Netherlands care about this massive upset. My dad just informed me that a Dutchman has been in his office for a little while, and the guy doesn’t know the slightest bit about baseball. I can’t help imagining that extends to much of the country. Nonetheless, I’m sure they will be proud in dismantling such a baseball giant. Meanwhile, I’m sure the entire country of the Dominican Republic is taking this to heart. What else do they have? Maybe next time they should make sure their players are practicing over the winter. I guess I should laugh now, since I’m half Puerto Rican. Pretty sure I’m supposed to hate them. Bahaha, Dominicans! Especially the Cubs reliever (Carlos Marmol) who choked even though he wasn’t in his Cubs uniform!

I like how this is nowhere to be found on ESPN’s webpage. Do they hate the MLB network that much?

Edit: Nevermind, it’s up now.

I’d post some New Year resolutions, but my real ones are probably more depressing than funny. I could make up some amusing ones, but I’m too busy watching the MLB network. Greatest channel ever. Baseball tonight is officially done. It’s broadcasting Don Larsen’s perfect game along with all the commercials. Gillette commercials from 1956 are hilarious.