Somewhat Manly Nerd » dodgers

Thank Fucking God Baseball Is Back

CajoleJuice — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 00:16:58 +0000

As I type this, the Phillies and Dodgers are getting ready to take the field for Game 1 of the NLCS. TwoÂ days without baseball just shouldn’t happen at any point during the season. I almost watched hockey and preseason Knicks basketball (ok, not really) — but I did find and read too much analysis about the series that were already over and the series to come.Â How much can you go over stuff that is basically a crapshoot? We all know the Yankees are a better team than the Angels, but Burnett and/or Sabathia could easily have a bad couple of starts and then BAM they’re out. A-Rod, Teixeira, and Jeter could all go cold. It’s possible! We also know the Phillies bullpen is total shit, but in the past week we saw a bunch of great closers completely meltdown.

The ALCS is supposed to start tomorrow, but somehow I can’t see it getting kicked off, considering it’s been raining all day and the precipitation looks to continue for the next couple of days. So not only will my tennis lesson on Saturday be canceled — shut up — I might not have a game to watch that day, either. Not to mention it’s chilly as fuck for mid-October in New York. What the hell is up with that?

[Insert obligatory anecdotal GLOBAL WARMING IS BULLSHIT comment.]

My other baseball annoyance of the day was arguing with a Phillies fan about the MVP of their team. It hasn’t been anyone but Chase Utley for four years. Sure, Ryan Howard loves his HR and RBIs, but Utley does EVERYTHING — especially getting on base in front of Howard. I need to find out a way to look up how many times Howard hit Utley in. Baseball-Reference, don’t fail me now.

I Need to Buy a Brad Lidge Voodoo Doll

CajoleJuice — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 04:01:24 +0000

Fuck you, Brad Lidge. How did you recover from Pujols effectively ending your career? He hit that home run a half-mile. You were done. Worse than Eric Gagne. And now you’re the best goddamn closer in the NL, closing every game the Phillies win in the playoffs. WHAT THE FLYING FUCK. I hope the one game you fucked up — the All-Star Game — comes back to haunt your team if you make the World Series.

I still think the Dodgers will beat your team, but if they don’t, I want you to blow the final game of the season. Game 7 of the World Series at either the bandbox that is Fenway Park, or the shithole that is Tropicana Field. I will make sure to have my voodoo doll sitting on top of TV. Maybe I’ll have it pinned to a dartboard. And as I hit the bullseye, you will give up a home run to Pujols. But how will Pujols hit a home run if he’s not in the playoffs, you ask. There will be a rip in the space-time continuum and Pujols will replace whomever is up, doesn’t matter if it’s Dustin Pedroia or Evan Longoria. Nobody will notice. But I will. I will see the flicker of Pujols’ soul engulf the puny mortal’s frame. Mark my words: PUJOLS WILL DESTROY YOU ONCE AGAIN.

North Side of Chicago on Suicide Watch

CajoleJuice — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 05:45:38 +0000

I am laughing. The only cure for sports suffering is seeing other fans suffer, and none have suffered more than Cubs fans. They thought for sure this would be the year their pernennial losers would make the World Series, and possibly even win it. Right now, that hope is hanging by a thin thread — Rich Harden’s right shoulder. At least I never thought the Mets were going to win the World Series this year, at least not after watching them the whole season. Sure, yet another collapse has wreaked some havoc, but they were at best above-average all season. The Cubs dominated the National League from start to finish. And now they can’t field a groundball. Or stop Manny Ramirez from hitting home runs. It’s a shame they waited until they were down by 7 runs to start playing. This is why they are on the verge of getting swept by the Dodgers.

And it’s also a shame that C.C. Sabathia finally broke down today. I picked the Brewers with my heart, not my head. Damn Phillies.

Oh, and the Rays beat the White Sox — not surprising news there. I guess I should mention that Evan Longoria is an absolute beast.

The only good series had a day off today.