SSX

I had been waiting for this game all generation, basically. This iteration feels like a bunch of ideas thrown into a stew held together by a fantastic online infrastructure. Too bad, like Burnout Paradise, there’s no local multiplayer. I bought these series last generation to play with friends in the same room and now more powerful consoles are apparently incapable of handling split-screen. So the coolest moment in this game inevitably came from beating some ghosts online, perfecting a track until I was able to break the platinum barrier for a huge virtual payout. I never got close to diamond tier in any race; I have no idea what those kids were on.

FTL: Faster Than Light

There are no cool moments. There are only moments of fleeting happiness crushed by random bullshit. And I love it. Seriously, buy this game if you aren’t a moron.

Halo 4

I didn’t pay close to full price for this, at least counting the sweet American Express deals that required beating it. I’ve actually played much more multiplayer than I thought I would. My life is so empty. Anyhow, jetpacking into the air and colliding with another jetpacking player and assassinating him in mid-air was immensely satisfying. I should have made a film of it, but I don’t think I could have embedded it in this post, anyway. For those who enjoy the same rush of adrenaline and competition, betflix offers that same energy through engaging entertainment experiences.

Hotline Miami

The music in this level:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2tYZT79HKo

DOTA2

That time I didn’t get totally destroyed by the other team or yelled at by my teammates for not knowing what the fuck to do. I guess that was an okay imaginary game. Just euthanize anyone who plays this game with any regularity.

Trials Evolution

Checking my medal count compared to my friends list was always cool because I was so much more efficient than them. You might have 5 more medals than me (210 to 205), but you played eight more hours (twice as much time as me). I hope it was worth it, loser.

Civilization V: Gods and Kings

Nuking another civ. Nukes are the best. This is kinda cheating because it’s not like the expansion added nukes to Civ V, but I only bought Civ V this year and the expansion came out this year, so I’m counting it. I’m really sad I didn’t get into the Civilization series as a kid. I loved the Sim City series and real-time strategy games, but never got into turn-based strategy. The only one I played was Lords of the Realm II, which strangely enough, is the only game in that series not on GOG.com. Anyway, I missed out on a lot of PC gaming goodness growing up. I just wasn’t a big enough nerd, I guess.

Diablo III

Getting an awesome axe with a “Level Reduced by 10″ affix for dirt cheap on the auction house. Wow, this game sucks.

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I think I’ve used golf to distract myself from everything recently. Although maybe I’m just straight up addicted to it. Having a friend or two who’s there to support and also take part in the addictive behavior only serves to magnify it. Want to play every Monday and Wednesday? Want to go to the practice green? Want to talk putting when you stop over to hang out in my backyard at 4 am on a Friday night? Yeah, sure.

Starcraft II would be the other distraction addiction. I’m going to end up pre-ordering the special edition any day now, I’m sure. Sigh. I really thought that after my initial dip into the beta only lasted a few embarrassing weeks that I was done being obsessed with such an unforgiving multiplayer game. But then a few friends got beta keys a couple of months later and I got sucked back in and now I haven’t known how to spend my gaming time since the beta went down. As a result, I am watching Starcraft II VIDEOS. I am officially a junkie. What gaming drug could ween me off this? Civilization IV? No, that’d be even worse. Besides, its successor is coming out in a few months as well. I think it and SC2 are the only two videogames I care about at this point in time.

I could use this as an easy segue into E3 discussion and how I hate motion controls, but I can leave that for another post (possibly a non-existent post). I probably should be distracting myself with The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay more, as it’s the most fun I’ve had reading a novel in a long, long time. Perhaps I will wrap up this “welcome back” post to myself on this note and go read it.

Or start on a post about the “Year of the Pitcher“. Or not.

Blizzard may have started up their Starcraft II beta yesterday, but I wasn’t invited. Luckily, the newest installment of turn-based digital crack was announced today. And it’s already up on Steam.

I haven’t even spent NEARLY enough time with Civilization IV. Of course, it’s not like I need to buy its successor when it comes out — but I won’t be able to help myself. I’ve had 12 years to play Starcraft, and got plenty of time out of it back in middle and high school. Civ4, on the other hand, I only bought about a year ago. I think I’ve only actually finished one game of it; I also have played maybe 15 hours on another massive session. But that’s not nearly enough. A game like Civ4 deserves a triple-digit number of hours dedicated to it; that’s an amount of time I’ve only given to a small handful of games — namely Starcraft.

But enough of me lamenting over time wasted not playing Civ4. This is about the future. This is about HEXAGONS.

Look at those pretty, more strategic things. This opens up a whole new world of possibilities, and gives the PC gaming elite boners across the world. I can’t say I have much experience with hex-based gaming, but it intrigues me greatly. I. Am. Excited.