Citi Field had its inaugural game tonight, and it started with a Padre hitting a home run off of Mike Pelfrey. The next inning Pelfrey fell off the mound like the big goof he is. Then Ryan Church did his best Daniel Murphy impression. Sure, David Wright became the first Met to hit a home run in the new park, revealing the brand new apple, but his dramatic game-tying 3-run bomb turned out to not be enough. Yet it gave Mets something to cheer about, and a memory for everyone who attended that opening game. Even I’ll always remember that, despite watching it from my desk chair. Who else would hit the first home run at a stadium that hopefully brings a new, less pitiful era for Mets baseball? The House of David, indeed. Shit, that’s way too cheesy.

I think tonight definitely helped to illuminate just how much of a pitcher’s park Citi Field is going to be. Both Beltran and Wright crushed balls to center field — Wright’s moreso than Beltran, I think — and neither managed to make it out of the park. Maybe in the summer it’s a different story? Maybe during a less windy night? Nonetheless, I don’t think anyone will disagree that the park is not going to help boost the home run totals of any Mets players. Wright, Delgado and Beltran are going to need to earn it if they want 30 home runs. Or just hit them when they play at Citizens Bank Park.

The other New York team — where else would you see the Yankees referred to as “the other New York team”? — got its ass handed to it 15-5 by the Tampa Bay Rays. The best part was Nick Swisher pitching a scoreless 8th inning, striking out Gabe Kapler in the process. Pretty sure he should just retire now to become a professional steroid abuser. I didn’t see much of the game, but I know Chien-Ming Wang obviously sucked, and the highlight montage at the end of the game seemed to display the Yankees total ineptitude in the field. Before the season started, I told a friend I thought Joe Girardi’s job was safe through this season, but now I’m starting to have my doubts. Yes, I know it’s barely been a week, but Wang having two spectacularly terrible starts has to worry everyone connected to the Yankees. He has already given up more runs than he did in the whole month of April last year. Not that such an occurrance is Girardi’s fault, but the loss last night can certainly be somewhat attributed to his overmanaging tendencies. It’ll be interesting to see how Yankee brass reacts if the team is ever more than 10 games out.

I’m not truly sure why I’m bothering to post about this on here, other than the fact that it might shed some light on just how necessary this blog is to my sanity. A night after writing my long Conan O’Brien post, I had a dream that centered around his first time hosting The Tonight Show. I had a front row seat, with the front row being right on top of the stage. Close enough that during his first bit, I was able to directly talk to the tall leprechaun. The audience didn’t seem to enjoy the bit too much, but I told Conan I enjoyed it. He replied with an invitation to come out with him and his friends after the show. Beer and poker was mentioned.

The next thing I remember was being in his surprisingly modest apartment ANALYZING his show. I was giving Conan advice as to how to run his show. There was no partying, no Conan being hilarious, only me fucking talking about how I felt his interaction with the audience and guests were what made his Late Night show especially awesome. I bet this is probably what I would do in real-life if I was friends with Conan, and that’s what makes it so sad. This is why I need to get as much critical analysis out of my system on here as possible.

My other pathetic dream involved me being able to take BP at Citi Field during the Mets’ first practice there. Now, that dream within itself sounds pretty cool, right? Taking the batting practice and realistically sucking is not cool. I haven’t swung a bat in a year, so there’s no doubt I would suck if the opportunity actually arose, but this was a goddamn dream! Why cant I drop bombs like Delgado in my dream? Why can’t my subconscious let me have some semblance of fun? I want to have one of those lucid dreams everyone talks about. Instead, I manage to take fairly awesome premises and turn them into totally boring and pedestrian dreams. Fuck you, brain.

Anyhow, I figure this is as good a time as any to post what I’m looking forward to this 2009 Mets season (and what I’m not).

I dread seeing:

Luis Castillo – I don’t care that he’s torn it up in the first two spring games — I still find his swing more painful to watch than American Idol. Unfortunately, if he continues on this road, he really might be batting leadoff on Opening Day.

Oliver Perez – This should be obvious to anyone who knows me or has read my blog before. Once he starts to display some semblance of consistency, he implodes spectacularly in a flurry of walks, mixed in with whatever else decides to go wrong.

Carlos Delgado – Halfway through the season, I will want him gone — just like the past two seasons.

Francisco Rodriguez – Oh sure, he broke the pointless save record, but that doesn’t make him anywhere close to the best closer in baseball. I’m just waiting for the first time he blows a couple of games in a week. It’s inevitable, along with New York sports talk becoming insufferable as a result.

I’m eager to watch…

Daniel Murphy – No doubt the guy I most want to watch play this year. I loved his approach at the plate last year an inordinate amount. He’s not going to replicate it (.386 BABIP* lol), but I’d be happy with .290/.375/.475, which is basically what Bill James is projecting him for. Of course, the uncertainty around whether he can really handle a starting role is what makes me so anxious to watch him play.

Johan Santana – The best Mets pitcher since Dwight Gooden. Dude is fucking awesome. Not much more to add to that. I still get chills when I think about that shutout the second-to-last game of the season. And then I get nauseous thinking about the last game.

David Wright – Mancrush.

J.J. Putz – Why am I excited to see Putz instead of K-Rod? Because there aren’t any expectations, and if he’s truly healthy, he’ll better than K-Rod. Mark it.

Jose Reyes – The Most Exciting Player in Baseball(TM). No, really, I keep hoping he’ll manage to keep his OBP high for an entire season. I don’t know when I’ll give that wish up.

Mike Pelfrey – Just a beast of a pitcher, and like Murphy, I’m looking to see if he can keep it up this season. He’s the type of pitcher that can be good for 230 innings a year. I’m giddy just writing that.

Ryan Church – A solid all-around player, other than his sliding ability. Once again, it’s uncertainty that makes me eager to see him in meaningful action. Will first half or second half Church show up? Hopefully, that second concussion didn’t fuck him up permanently.

John Maine – The 2007 version of Maine was the 2008 version of Pelfrey in terms of my appreciation for the two pitchers. I still really like Maine, but he needs to learn how to finish guys off. And not in the happy ending type of way.

Fernando Martinez – Near the bottom only because I’m not sure how much I’ll even see of him this season. Otherwise, he’d be right behind Murphy, considering he’s been touted as the Mets’ future LF for a while now. He needs to go one season without getting hurt first.

Carlos Beltran – Why at the bottom of this list? Because he just makes everything look too easy, and we know what to expect from him. Basically, he’s TOO good. The guy runs down balls in the gap unreachable for normal CF like he’s taking a morning jog.

But most of all…

Citi Field – Already got some tickets, and I cannot wait to check out the new stadium. I also hear the food is going to be goddamn amazing. The name may be a sore spot, but I’m sure once I’m inside I won’t give a shit that I basically paid for some poorly-run company to have its name all over the stadium.

*For the uninformed, BABIP stands for “Batting Average of Balls In Play.” Trust me, .386 is absurdly high and impossible to maintain.