Someone suggested to me to just make an animated GIF of the entire movie, since there’s no part that isn’t awesome. I’d so do it, if I weren’t sure my laptop would explode during the attempt. This Arnold vehicle is easily the most perfectly distilled form of 80s action, with unbelievably corny one-liners, hilarious gore, and one man killing an entire private army.

I can’t even bring myself to type much about the movie, as I feel that the following GIFs will say more than I ever could. Hit the jump to enjoy fourteen GIFs of a combined 35 MB or so to totally destroy your browser.

This first one I made years ago and is still one of my proudest GIF moments.

Baseball Prospectus Introduces SIERA: Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. Part 4. Part 5. – Yeah, this is in-depth, heavy sabermetric reading. Only recommended for advanced stat nerds. It’s about a new pitching statistic that apparently more accurately predicts Johan Santana’s greatness compared to FIP, so I obviously approve of it.

Jose Reyes v. Barry Larkin – I’ve been down on Reyes for a while now, but this post on Amazin’ Avenue attempts to show that perhaps I’m being a bit stupid.

Starcraft II: Some Thoughts on the Beta – I wish this were me linking to my own post.

The Top of Our Game – A short post on the absurdity of media coverage of politics today — mainly its focus on image and perception.

Glenn Beck Declares War – Not really, but he’s still insane. Or a genius. Or both.

Arnold Schwarzeneggar Has A Question For His Golf Partner: “When Was Your Last Blowjob?” – Awesome. He runs the most populous state in the Union.

An Open Letter to “Lost” Fanatics – This is beautiful. I can’t wait until it’s over and everyone is dissatisfied with the ending. I’m not bitter about how Battlestar Galactica wrapped up at all. Nope.

Tiger Woods Announces Return To Sex – Cocktail waitresses around the world are wet in anticipation.

That you are, Arnold. That you are.

Arnold Schwarzeneggar is truly the epitome of the American Dream. Born in Austria right after World War II, he became the greatest body-builder in history, arguably the biggest action-hero star of all-time, and now a governor. Only an amendment to the Constitution stops Demolition Man from becoming prophetic. I know at least I’d vote for him.

But honestly, who else has such an awesome resume? 7-time Mr. Olympia, Commando, The Terminator series, Total Recall, the Governator. He’s also probably banged hundreds of women. Every single actress playing beside him in movies? Railed. Body-builder groupies? Installed. The man gets whatever he sets his eyes on, and no doubt the Presidency is the next (and most likely last) step. It’d sure be a nice change from the Bush-Clinton collective.

Happy 60th birthday Arnold. I’m already making the “Arnold in 2012” bumper stickers.