Right now I’m flipping out at A.J. Burnett having a 3.00 WHIP today. AND NOW HE JUST GAVE UP ANOTHER HIT ARE YOU KIDDING ME. This is in my regular draft head-to-head league with internet fellow internet forum denizens. I am currently losing 2-8 for the week and I HATE A.J. BURNETT. Tim Lincecum could have thrown a perfect game and he wouldn’t have counterbalanced this ineptitude.

This is just a small example of my thought process over the course of each night, sometimes day. This weekend I will be checking all day and night while I’m in my house. If I had an iPhone, I’d be in big trouble. I’d end up setting an alarm to remind me to check every 5 minutes.

“Wait a second, hot chick talking to me, I need to see if Cole Hamels melted down.”

Just kidding, I’d never have that douche on one of my fantasy teams.

My roto team is the worst, because it’s so stupid to keep track day-by-day, nevermind minute-by-minute. Just an hour ago I was +6.0 points on the day due to some great pitching performances, but now I’m at -0.5 points because my lineup has been THAT bad. Roto is about the ridiculously long haul of the entire season, so getting worked up about a 3/30 performance from my offense is pointless. Maybe I should apply this philosophy when I watch Jason Bay strike out for the third time in the Mets game tomorrow. He’s going to come around, and the players on my roto team might go 15/35 with 4 HR tomorrow.

So why the fuck am I glued to my screen following the Giants-Cardinals matchup since the two starters represent my opponent and myself in the aforementioned H2H league ? I’m going to walk away right now, I swear.

But not before saying I am coasting in my auction draft H2H league. Roy Halladay for $35. Bargain of the year.