http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nc9xq-TVyHI

Watching this video was the first noteworthy thing I did this month of September. Can I just fast-forward to October now? This month isn’t going to get any better. Unless the Braves collapse and don’t make the playoffs somehow.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VsZ1SagUPb4

I have to think this will be my last Inception-related post. The movie isn’t going to pass $300 million domestic and probably not $700 million worldwide, so I won’t have any reasons to make a stupid box office post.  I’m not even sure why I would post about those numbers other than the fact that they’re nice and round and big. Mmmm, round and big. But this is a good way to wrap up the Inception obsession, as I don’t think there are going to be any a better-made spoofs than this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5hhcuNmgbQ

This is now serving the purpose of making me feel better after another atrocious Mets loss made worse by an 0-4 performance WITH 4 STRIKEOUTS by David Wright. The Inception trailer music fits the video so perfectly, having that low-key section as the dude slowly dances his way into traffic, building up to the amazing climax. Thank you, ice cream truck driver.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gqv4Vviod0c

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHJwgA54Gqk

Bonds' reaction to hearing about 9/11

Sure, he broke baseball’s most hallowed record by pumping himself full of horse steroids that shrunk his balls to the size of peas, while embarrassing Major League pitchers repeatedly. But he ruined lives for people off the field, too. My internet buddy @qvt and I did a bit of research and we found out that Bonds did some of the most awful things you can imagine. Free feel to add your own from your personal encounters with him.

- Not only did he cheat on his wife by having a mistress, and bought said mistress a house to buy her silence, he made numerous sex tapes with her that he subsequently showed his children to teach them about sex.

- He voted for Proposition 8.

- He lied to a grand jury about taking steroids, and also tried to buy off U.S. Senators by taking them to Denny’s.

- He’s AWOL from the Army because he’s a terrorist sympathizer.

- When he sees a child’s basketball in the street, he intentionally deflates it.

- He uses the express lane at the supermarket even though he has 25 items. And they are all steroids, somehow.

- He leaves the toilet seat down even though he lives alone.

- If you lend him a book, he creases the spine while he’s reading it and then gives it back and acts like it’s normal.

- He refused a kid in the parking lot an autograph when no one else was around. And the kid was an orphan. In a wheelchair. A wheelchair with only one wheel because he was also poor.

- He pisses in the shower at the gym.

- He pushes all the buttons in the elevator while you’re in it, and then gets out and takes the stairs.

- He thinks Forrest Gump deserved to win that Oscar for Best Picture.

- He voted for the Liberal Democrats in the UK Election.

- One time he threw a perfectly good — and still wrapped — cheeseburger into the trash right in front of a homeless person because he was full already.

- He complains about having Lost spoiled by people on Twitter.

- He’s been poisoning Ken Griffey Jr. for the past decade.

- He goes to a soup kitchen not to volunteer, but to eat, because he really likes the chicken noodle soup on Thursdays at the Martin de Porres House of Hospitality.

- He drives the speed limit in the left lane of the highway.

- He celebrated each home run of his career by adopting a dog from a homeless shelter and then sacrificing it to his personal god named Oswaldo.

- He doesn’t kick over kids’ sand castles at the beach, he builds a bigger one and then doesn’t let them play with it.

- He’s the guy who scratched your Netflix DVD.

Just now Jose Canseco, of 40-40 and steroid fame, totally lost his shit on Twitter. I have little doubt the story will be on Deadspin within the hour.

http://twitter.com/josecanseco

U fucking scum bags don’t have the balls to get in the ring mean while u talk shit about me say it to my face low life humans

I wish I could bring this anger into the ring btween what baseball has done to me and u fucking haters I could kill somèone rite now

Remember the movie 300 that’s tbhe way it should be get rid of the shit at birth would be a better world today

Look in the mirror and ask urself have u told the truth lately or lied and kissed someones ass to benifit urself

@MARIALOUISE46 y do we have so many religions and only one god

If I where president respect and honesty would be established again just like in japan learn from that culture

If I had a “Quotes of the Day” section like I used to have on my LiveJournal 5 years ago, Canseco would win all the slots. He’s probably upset about his taxes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLWlBgj0uOc

The All 35-And-Older Team – A collection of the best old men of baseball, lead by — who else — Derek Jeter.

Cutting the Currency Gordian Knot – This doesn’t even require a link, since it’s such a simple idea, but I’m totally low on links this week — especially since an awesomely bad YouTube video involving Scott Stapp was taken down.

Top 10 Ways to Access Blocked Stuff on the Web – Download YouTube videos, utilize proxies to watch other countries’ streaming TV, read news behind a paywall — do all this and more!

Climate Catastrophe: A Superstorm for Global Warming Research – A pretty good rundown of Climategate and all the political and societal forces that surround it.

Baseball Tweets: A Series? – I am constantly amazed by how much Joe Posnanski is able to write. And he’s able to do it with referencing Beverly Hills 90210 or some other shitty 90s show, like some other sportswriter that can’t fit a column into less than 5,000 words.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDxn0Xfqkgw

The pinnacle of human achievement in popular culture condensed into 600 seconds, right here.