Baseball is Sweep-Happy

2009 October 11

Although, Boston is certainly not happy right now. Red Sox Nation tears are flowing across New England.

Yesterday, the Cardinals were put out of their misery. Today we witnessed the end of both ALDS series. One sweep was expected, what with Andy Pettitte matching up against Carl Pavano, but I can’t imagine many people saw the Red Sox blowing a 5-2 lead through 7 innings. The combination of Billy Wagner and Jonathon Papelbon gave up 4 runs in the final two innings, forcing Massholes to leave the stadium in a state that only could have lead to many racial slurs being shouted and wives and girlfriends getting beaten.

Going into the playoffs I’m sure many people figured the Twins would get swept, but both the Red Sox and Cardinals going down in flames has to be a surprise to most baseball fans — and ESPN experts. Last year, everyone picked the Cubs to roll over the Dodgers and we all saw how that turned out. I really shouldn’t bother posting the following, since it happens every year in every sport, but it’s fun nonetheless. They get paid for these predictions!

It’s kinda amazing: the two AL closers who are supposed to be close to Mariano Rivera’s level both failed spectacularly in a past few days. Today was the first time Jonathon Papelbon ever let up a run in the postseason, but it would have been fine if he only let up a run (instead of three). The moron threw 26 straight fastballs. I guess he was attempting his best Rivera impression, only without the success. As for the other closer, the guy who is always seemingly overlooked and underrated, Joe Nathan, showed why he’s not worth a second look. Holy shit, he sucked. Yeah, yeah small sample size, but he still sucked. He single-handedly made A-Rod amazing in the postseason! I thought A-Rod sucked? I guess that means Nathan sucks more. Simple logic here, people.

Totally awesome note: A-Rod has a higher postseason OPS than Derek Jeter.

Meanwhile, Rivera pitched 3.2 scoreless innings in the series, notching 7 strikeouts in the process. Somehow this is not surprising, considering we’ve all come to the consensus that he’s an android from the future.

So all that’s left is a Phillies-Rockies series that is in the middle of its 3rd game as I type this — which reminds me of how moronic the scheduling today was. Who’s idea was it to play a game in Denver at 7 pm local time? Because when I think of baseball, I think of 30 degree weather. And playing a game involving a West Coast team at noon eastern time — meaning people in California needed to wake up at 9 am on a Sunday to watch playoff baseball — is just a dick move. Bud Selig is a senile old man who has no business running a multi-billion dollar business, ugh.

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