No Met is Safe

2009 August 16
by CajoleJuice

This is a photo of David Wright getting hit in the head with a 94 mph Matt Cain fastball today, right after the FOX announcers stated that the incoming inside fastball was ‘Good Ol’ Country Hardball.’ Sure was. Wright has a concussion and will be in the hospital overnight, yet I’m sure the Mets’ medical staff will find a way to injure him further in the meantime. I’m going to consider him Church’d for the rest of the season, so I have already managed my fantasy teams accordingly. I’ll be shocked if he reaches double digits in HRs at this point.

I’ll also be shocked if the season closes out without Johan Santana getting hit in the face with a line drive. As embarrassing as it was to see Santana throw behind Pablo “Kung-Fu Panda” Sandoval in retaliation, and then let up a home run to the fat fuck, I guess it was better than the aforementioned scenario. If Parnell throws another gem like he did yesterday, I’d probably store him away for the rest of the season.

So the Mets lineup is officially done now. Gary Sheffield has the highest OPS left on the team, but he only can play 3 games a week before breaking down, which leaves Jeff Francoeur as the most dangerous everyday bat on the team currently. How did it come to this? The entire CORE down, 12 games behind the Phillies, 10 games out of the wild card. This is worst case scenario shit.

Meanwhile, the Braves are actually staying in the hunt for the NL East title, thanks to Brad Lidge continuing to make up for all the blown saves he missed last year. The goddamn Braves are 5 games ahead of the Mets, and they have Tim Hudson coming back. Why am I still getting worked up over this? Didn’t I declare the season dead a month ago? I should be happy with Parnell’s promising walk-less start, and that should be enough.

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